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to be annoyed at ds2 school. (long)

(7 Posts)
MsJamieFraser Mon 14-Dec-15 17:57:02

Ds is age 6, last year Y1, we received his school report to say he was above expectation in all subjects and that his IT work was Y6 level. (sorry this is important).

However since reception year, ds has had massive communication issues.

Background He had severe speech and language delay, he was only signed off by ST in the summer of this year, he has been in intensive ST for 3 years,(18 months ago he could not speak two words together) had had multiple long term hospital admissions, due to many reasons (burns, acute allergies. asthma...think life saving operations and many blue lights Resus admissions.

So communication is getting better now that he can verbally say what's his needs/wants are, however emotionally he can still have tantrums because of the frustration, it is getting better, (2 maybe 3 times since the summer) and one of those was at school on Friday.

Also I think it is how he is used to venting his frustrations, so behaviour that we/he are vastly improving on.

On Friday a little girl kept telling him over and over that she had put him on Santa's naughty list, and because of that Santa was not visiting his house, the more ds protested the more this girl said that ds was on the naughty list, by this point ds was in distress and could not handle the situation and broke down in tears and had in the teachers words a "toddler tantrum" (teacher did say that ds was not misbehaving)

I stated to the teacher that its something that we are working on, and he is getting better however ds really struggles with communication (he has a one2one in his school for this reason)

for example, ds cant tell me what he would like to do for the day, or tell me what he would like for Christmas, or what he would like for his dinner, what game he would like to play etc... you need to give ds options, he just cant think of a way to communicate what he wants/needs to do, it all has to be guided options.

When I was sayng all this, all of a sudden she said that she was worried about ds's writing and reading and that he is only at the expected level of half way through Y1 in these subjects (even tho his Y1 report cards says he is above expected levels) hmm

It was completely unexpected we had no idea ds was struggling, I asked what way could I help ds at home, she just continued to say that when doing book reports ds can't write the story line of the book, I said again that this all boils down to ds not being able to process his thoughts/needs and wants and that I mention this, at every single meeting I have with the school, he is just unable to do it. sad

However she then just changed the subject and said that ds is very good in class, he always wants to please, never ever in trouble, follows school rules etc... a lovely boy to be around, however we need to deal with the one temper tantrum he has in school (this school year) and also working on his reading and writing... and that was that! Totally skipped over his communication issues!

AIBU to be annoyed, I knew nothing that he is nearly a half year behind his expected targets for his age, and also that once again the communication issues have been ignored.

TheNoodlesIncident Mon 14-Dec-15 18:17:44

Sorry, was this in a meeting that was scheduled in response to the meltdown in class? Seems odd that she should talk about his academic progress if the issue is his inability to cope with a particular stressful situation, exacerbated by his communication difficulties.

He can't possibly have been meeting expectations for Y1 last academic year and be at average mid Y1 levels now. That's slipping right back, not lack of progress in Y2. YADNBU but you need to schedule another meeting to discuss what's going on. It sounds most odd and really should have been brought to your attention before if she's worried now.

Also perhaps CT needs to speak to the little girl who was quite nasty to him, this sort of bullying behaviour needs nipping in the bud angry

catfordbetty Mon 14-Dec-15 18:48:07

Being annoyed with your child's school is essentially the Mumsnet default position. In that sense, YANBU.

MsJamieFraser Mon 14-Dec-15 18:53:16

No sorry I tried to shorten it blush

I had 6 missed calls from the school on Friday, however I was at work and was not able to answer my personal line, so I phoned this morning and I asked about the calls and they asked for me to attend after school pick up, as it was in relation to ds behaviour.

At no point the the several meetings through out this school term has there been any mention that ds was struggling at school,

His Y1 report, his reading level is stage 12, (oxford) he got all A's in his subjects, which means he is above age expectations, and his phonics assessment was 38/40.

Today a new teacher has said he is under age expectations and is in the middle of Y1 age expectations. I did phone the school when I got home after reading his Y1 end of school report it says he passed Y1 with no concerns for additional educational help. You have the same opinion as me TheNoodles last year either his school report is BS or this teacher has it incorrect in her assessment because I do not think ds has slipped right back to that level.

The school is phoning me tomorrow so that me and dh can get a meeting which I am taking his school reports with me also.

RafaIsTheKingOfClay Mon 14-Dec-15 19:31:23

Even if it weren't the default position here, I don't think YABU OP. That's a fairly huge difference.

I'd be inclined to think it's last year's report that is incorrect. If you still have it I'd take it to any meeting with the current teacher so they can at least see why this has taken you by surprise.

You also need to push the school to find out what they are going to be doing to help him catch up. This should help you to support him more at home.

trinity0097 Mon 14-Dec-15 20:35:11

Expectations have changed, so a child that was above last year now could not be because it's all got harder to achieve.

RafaIsTheKingOfClay Mon 14-Dec-15 21:17:15

The current year 2 would have been using the new curriculum last year.

There's no way a child could have been exceeding expectations at the end of year 1 in July and still be working towards the year 1 expectations now.

It might have been possible this time last year but that wouldn't apply now.

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