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Fed up with sibling rivalry..

(18 Posts)
Needafiltercoffee Mon 14-Dec-15 10:02:10

I sent my sister a photo of my 5 year old as an angel in the nativity. She didn't comment on it but replied with a picture of her 23 year old sky diving with a caption Angel in the sky?! AIBU to feel pissed off? Why can't she just comment nicely on how cute my angel is?

Leelu6 Mon 14-Dec-15 10:12:39

YANBU. Did you make a fuss of her kids when they were little?

hellsbellsmelons Mon 14-Dec-15 10:14:03

Why don't you just respond to her pic saying 'wow that looks fun - maybe we should try that together some day!'
It's only rivalry if you let it be.
You've sent her the pic. She hasn't commented she's clearly no that bothered.
Just try not to let it bother you.
Keep doing what you are doing and let all her stuff go over your head (yes, far easier said than done!)

Needafiltercoffee Mon 14-Dec-15 10:38:36

I guess it's difficult coz there's 11 years between us. I was 17 when her kids were born and yes I did make a fuss of them. Maybe I resent the fact her kids are now that age (well older) and they don't make a fuss of my kids (as in cousins don't buy for cousins) we're also all quite far away from each other so we don't see each other very often.

Leelu6 Mon 14-Dec-15 11:49:32

She could be slightly jealous, as her kids are now older.

It would be nice of her to reciprocate with your children. But if there's sibling rivalry between you, then you will need to manage your expectations of her engagement with your DC. It's sad, I know.

ProfessorPreciseaBug Mon 14-Dec-15 12:04:35

need a coffee?

Ever thought your mum might be a member of the Parish? If so I wonder how she might read this one? It does seem sad... Life is short. Enjoy it rather than worrying about sis and etc....

Needafiltercoffee Mon 14-Dec-15 12:36:30

Hi Professor, what do you mean my mum being a member of the Parish? She treats us equally and as individuals and is proud of both her grandchildren.

MistressoftheYoniverse Mon 14-Dec-15 13:08:54

YANBU...Ha!...don't stress yourself about it! I have a sister who is totally my rival and for no good reason I might add...I have never understood it and I think that because I am so blase it makes her worse grin

I believe she wanted to be born first and is thoroughly disgusted with the fact that I was hmm...I still love her and I'm convinced that she had baby number 3 just to 'beat' me maybe that's in my head so don't worry she will probably never be the sister she could be because of this jealousy but take courage and embrace the fact that she sees you and yours as rivals and if shes truthful slightly superior to her hence the reason she behaves the way she does flowers

ImperialBlether Mon 14-Dec-15 13:11:02

Are you on the wrong thread, Professor? What you've said doesn't make any sense.

arethereanyleftatall Mon 14-Dec-15 13:12:25

Have you replied about how cool, or whatever, her dc is?
I wouldn't worry about this, maybe just accept she's not interested, and not send photos. No drama.

SnobblyBobbly Mon 14-Dec-15 13:17:36

My older sisters can be a bit like that. There's 20 odd years between our eldest and youngest nieces and nephews. It's like they forget what it's like to be a newer parent. I think being the younger siblings we can get a raw deal because by the time our babies come along everyone's a bid jaded and over little ones.

I agree with hellbells that its only a rivalry if you allow it to be though. I'd respond with a joke about 'Wow! Extreme nativity' or something - with any luck she'll realise herself that sometimes it's nice to just share in your pride rather than competing with it.

R0nJ0n Mon 14-Dec-15 13:20:11

At least with your niece being 23 there's no direct comparison between her and your DD.

I have nieces and nephews around the same age as my DD and there's a lot of who got the best part in the nativity, who's on the highest reading band, who knows there times tables best type rivalry goes on (which I'm embarrassed to say I sometimes let myself get sucked into).

OurBlanche Mon 14-Dec-15 15:05:25

I thought her response was really funny, in a nice way... from little acorns and all that!

I'd have taken it as a pleasant pictorial comment on how exciting it will be when my little angel grows up.

More about us being connected that any slight to my child!

Witchend Mon 14-Dec-15 15:37:22

I don't see that a rivalry. If my dsis did that I'd think how nice she was sending a photo of that.
I'd have chuckled over it and saved it onto the computer for keeps.

But really do you expect the cousins to buy for each other? Do yours buy for them?
I bought for my cousins when I got older but that was entirely my choice. Neither my siblings did, and they didn't buy for me, and I never thought that was an issue. We gave family presents ie from parents and children for each child.
I only did because I liked shopping and it was a good excuse!

GinIsTheBestChristmasSpirit Mon 14-Dec-15 18:40:34

I wouldn't think of that as rivalry just a nice swap of photos. Also if I sent my brother pics of my kids I nativity he would give zero shits.

PippaH74 Mon 14-Dec-15 19:26:34

If you react resentfully then nothing is going to improve. Hold your head high and send back a positive comment. You say you had a good relationship with her kids when they were younger... so how about making a positive comment about your skydiving niece/nephew (as pretty cool to see someone you care about doing something like that). Will make you feel good inside and make your sister feel fondly towards you... and you may get a lovely comment back about your angel. If not, maybe her life is full on at the moment, but at least she'll feel positively towards you.

user7755 Mon 14-Dec-15 19:33:09

I agree, this doesn't seem like rivalry to me, just two sisters exchanging pics with a play on words confused

Needafiltercoffee Mon 14-Dec-15 21:08:53

Thanks everyone. I think I was over-reacting this morning feeling like my sister didn't acknowledge my angel. I replied this pm to her saying "Extreme Nativity!" (Thanks SnobblyBobbly!) and she replied "!! was glad to speak to her after it!" And thanked me for the card and photos ("lovely") that I had sent to her so no, I don't think it was rivalry as such. I just have to learn to not get pissed off when I don't get the reaction I was expecting! Oh and I already knew my niece was doing a skydive coz I keep in touch with her directly not through my sister!

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