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about toddlers at children's service?

(11 Posts)
Maybejustme Sun 13-Dec-15 14:40:43

DD is just 2. She's very lively and I spend a lot of time making sure she isn't getting into mischief. We don't go to church very often because she's unlikely to sit still and I don't want to disturb the congregation generally.
However, this morning was the children's Christmas service at our village church. I went along with a friend, who has a DD of similar age. The toddlers, as expected, didn't sit still and were bouncing around and jumping up and down in the area at the side. I figured, though, that as long as they were doing it relatively quietly (well mostly - there was the odd squawk) we wouldn't disturb the other kids and so didn't take DD out. Occasionally, she did make a run for the alter area and I had to pick her up quickly and tell her no etc. Whilst I was quite self conscious, I was generally glad we'd taken them.
However, there were a couple of older ladies who were pretty disapproving and one seemed cross with us both during the service and again on the way out. Aibu to think that this is what toddlers will do and that it's perhaps inevitable that there might be such behaviour exhibited at a service specifically aimed at children? It has reinforced my nervousness of taking her to church. I don't know if actually I'm just being really precious and actually we were annoying everyone but the others were too polite to say anything. ..

SoWhite Sun 13-Dec-15 14:42:22

Yabu to let them do that. You should have taken her out.

jay55 Sun 13-Dec-15 14:42:33

Children's service should include all kids all ages and some noise and escapees to be expected.

WorraLiberty Sun 13-Dec-15 14:45:52


Noise is to be expected yes, but surely not letting them bounce around and jump up and down?

Memeto3boys Sun 13-Dec-15 14:46:19

If it's a children's service I think this is to be expected. We take our children to the local church on a regular basis our youngest are 1 and 2 and they don't get annoyed with the children. They are so understanding regardless of what sort of service it is. I think churches that are family aimed need to be understanding and accepting.

Leelu6 Sun 13-Dec-15 14:46:25


ZedWoman Sun 13-Dec-15 14:47:31

DD, at two, would have sat beautifully for hours.

DS, at two, would not have been happy to sit still for more than five minutes. If he'd been restrained, he would have screamed blue murder. It's just the way he was.

I always went to a church with a totally separate creche with him. When I once took him to a 'family friendly' service at a different church, I had to put up with some horrible remarks from one unpleasant member of the congregation. It put me off going back.

The church I now attend is very tolerant. A lady tried to take her daughter out of church this morning as she was a bit unsettled (similar aga). The vicar told her not to - her daughter is a member of the congreagation and is always welcome in God's house.

ZedWoman Sun 13-Dec-15 14:48:09

Oh, and YANBU.

WeThreeMythicalKings Sun 13-Dec-15 14:48:38

I wouldn't have let them wander about. Keep them in the seats with books, small toys or snacks. Wandering toddlers are a distraction and an annoyance.

PastaLaFeasta Sun 13-Dec-15 14:58:02

It depends on the church, our church tried to encourage parents to stay and created a separate service where this was more acceptable. I almost walked out in the early days of this new service due to a lively toddler but was told it was fine if she was noisy. I quite like it and it's a much more friendly place than the stuffy formal service where the people who complain about children tend to go. Children should be able to be children in a service targeted at all ages. We do avoid a lot of other church events due to nasty comments so we aren't able to be as involved as we could be if people were more understanding. And as we suspect DD1 may have ADHD she is not going to sit still and listen quietly anytime soon.

The church management didn't agree with the complainers and people had left the church due to nasty comments.

honkinghaddock Sun 13-Dec-15 14:59:11

Yanbu, some noise and movement is to be expected as long as it is not chasing each other around screaming type stuff. Ds (with sn) much older couldn't be quiet or sit completely still.

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