To say no to pizza pasta again?

[karmakameleon]

So I'm trying to arrange dinner with a friend and her family and she's suggested a pizza pasta place. Fairly standard kid food but my problem is that DS (3yrs old) doesn't like it. DS will happily eat Indian, Thai, Japanese, Chinese, Mexican amongst other things, so I don't think he can be described as fussy, but just not pizza and pasta.

As you imagine this comes up regularly when we eat out with friends and in the past I've taken the view that DS can have some bread and fill up on ice cream after. But this time I've had enough and put my foot down as I just feel it's not fair on DS to always be the one that can't eat and ends up going home hungry. Also I know that DS really doesn't like pizza pasta as I've offered it to him a hundred times but I'm guessing that my friend's child hasn't tried half the options I've suggested. (The specific places I've mentioned to her all do some mild options in smaller sized portions although not specifically a children's menu.) And if the worst came to the worst, surely her DS could pick at his main and then have lots of ice cream for pudding like mine has had to in the past?

Anyway, the whole thing is proving quite traumatic, she's not taking up any of my suggestions and sticking fairly rigidly to her original choice and I'm getting the feeling that the whole thing is off unless I do as I'm told compromise. So now I'm starting to feel guilty and think maybe I'm being a bit unreasonable as it is a fairly standard choice. But then it's not DS's fault he doesn't like it...

[Champagneformyrealfriends]

What's wrong with a pub style restaurant? YANBU

[YellowDinosaur]

Yanbu for not wanting to go to a place where your ds doesn't like the food but equally she's nbu for not wanting to do the same! What's wrong with somewhere like frankie and benny's / tgi Fridays / vintage inn etc which has a range of different types of food to suit everyone?

[originalmavis]

At least take turns! Doesn't the pizza place so any other Italian food? Veal, chicken...

[SaucyJack]

Nah, YANBU then.

I would say it was fairly unusual to have a toddler who would prefer Thai or Indian to pasta, but if that's genuinely the case then I don't see why your family shouldn't ever get a choice in where you eat.

[karmakameleon]

Pubs are fine but there's none suitable in the area we would meet in.

[LilaTheTiger]

"No, we went there last time, DS doesn't really like it, let's go somewhere we can all get a meal we enjoy"

And if she insists on this place

"ok, we'll give it a miss this time then x"

BACKBONE, OP

[karmakameleon]

Think DS just likes the type of food his parents like. I found out quite by accident that he really likes spicy food because I never thought to let him try. Then he stole my Thai chilli crackers, ate them all and cried till I gave him more so we figured we'd let him try from then on and all that type of food is a big hit.

[shoofly]

I think I would quite bluntly ask."Is pizza/ pasta the only option, because it doesn't suit Ds?" Surely it's your turn to choose? I have DS2 who will try most things and DS1 who has ASD and is practically phobic about 99% of food options. I'm all for compromise, but it isn't compromise if you're the one doing it all the time

[IguanaTail]

Pizza pasta places normally do other food than pizza pasta. Is it a chain?
Otherwise YANBU. There are loads of other options.

[karmakameleon]

I've said he won't eat it and made three or four other suggestions but get the feeling she doesn't believe me. Everyone thinks all kids like pizza pasta. She wouldn't have noticed what he ate last time as he wouldn't make a fuss, just play with his food until it's cleared away.

[LilaTheTiger]

Then don't go, I refer you to my second sentence

[Branleuse]

well dont meet them then

[Iguessyourestuckwithme]

I am sure there are other things on the menu. I went to a pizza/pasta chain restaurant the other day and ate chicken and potatoes.

[Epilepsyhelp]

If she won't alternate just don't go, she's being selfish.

[glorious]

Some Italian places have other options e.g. The Strada children's menu has fish, chicken or steak and Carluccio's has something similar.

Would that help?

[karmakameleon]

I'm not sure what's on the kids menu at the place she's suggesting. If there is a chicken nugget and chip variation, DS will eat it but not not really enjoy it. Also surely her DS can eat chicken katsu and plain rice at the Japanese too.

[TendonQueen]

Use Lila's script. She should be willing to compromise and it's your turn to pick. You have to be prepared to say 'let's just leave it then' though as she's clearly waiting for you to blink first.

[KitKat1985]

There's got to be an option besides spicy food type places / pizza and pasta type places surely? Or at least a pizza and pasta type place / spicy food place that has some alternative things on the menu?

[Andrewofgg]

Your DS has good taste . . . stick to your guns!

[karmakameleon]

Our usual compromise is pubs that will do small portions of the adult menu. Although he eats chicken and chips, fish and chips, sausage and chips, his options are limited and he gets bored of having the same thing time and time again.

[Lj8893]

I think she is being U by not compromising but I think you are being a little U by thinking a Japanese is a good compromise. I wouldn't want to eat Japanese, and definitely wouldn't expect my toddler to like anything there. But think there must be some sort of pub type chain restaurant where there's plenty of variety for everyone......harvester, weather spoon, Toby car very, frankie&bennys, a marstons pub?!

If there's a Japanese there must be something along the lines of what I've suggested!!!

[blytheandsebastian]

So in actual fact this is about what your DS would enjoy, not what he will eat - he may not have to eat bread or go home hungry at all - you don't know because you haven't actually checked the kid's menu?? I would be a little mystified if my friend wanted to choose a place with food that very few children will/can eat, simply so her child will have a chance to eat his favourite kinds of food.

Your argument was a lot stronger when you were pretending he'd have to go home hungry.

[kali110]

Yanbu at all.
I was your son as a child!
I hated pizza ( hate tomato based sauce!) and pasta ( don't like creamy sauces either!)
I loved spicey dishes though.
i have a cousin who hates spicey foods and sauce.
We've always managed to go to indians, chinese japenese etc
No place we've been to has ever said no to cooking the dish without the sauce, or very mild, or just doing chips ( one place even asked him if he would prefer chips when they weren't on the menu).
I don't think yabu at all.
Why can't he have katsu without the sauce and with noodles? ( i always have noodles instead of rice!)
Why is it always your son that has to compromise?
I feel your pain though.
I always compromised every year on my birthday to go places most of my friends would enjoy rather than where i would really enjoy.( very different music tastes).
You get very pissed off of it.

[TheFirstNoelHeadbands]

It's one meal, this stuff shouldn't be this hard.

[kali110]

Please don't assume no little kids would eat this food, a lot do.