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MIL and DD's Xmas present. I may BU, but...

(18 Posts)
Babayaggatheboneylegged Sat 12-Dec-15 10:59:11

I like and get on with my MIL. She LOVES my kids, which is great. She can be a bit OTT at times, but I accept that's just the way she is and that it comes from a good place.

PIL live a plane journey away from us, and MIL has acquired a number of toys from her friends for our three-year-old DD to play with when we visit. We're going to PIL's for Xmas.

This is the first year DD has properly 'got' Xmas, and she's asked FC for a horsey, so I've ordered this: http://www.argos.co.uk/m/static/Product/partNumber/4046510.htm?CMPID=GS001&_$ja=tsid:59156|cid:189934165|agid:18091993645|tid:pla-138429050965|crid:77627768605|nw:g|rnd:12530766119967419816|dvc:m|adp:1o1&gclid=Cj0KEQiAqK-zBRC2zaXc8MOiwfIBEiQAXPHrXu6rOT5-tpPtF4wjZYID1o6ZBQ08I-vcHaNcHZdLW8AaAoNk8P8HAQ

And am having it delivered to PIL's. Couldn't get anything bigger or fancier cos we will need to bring it home on the plane.

Last night MIL calls and says horsey has arrived, then mentions that her mate has given her a ride-on horse for DD to play with while we're there. She said 'of course it's not as nice as your one, it's just for her to play with before Xmas.'

Now, I pride myself on being a reasonable person, so have been a bit surprised that I feel a bit put out by this . I can't help fret that this will sort of take the sheen off our horsey gift and am worried DD will have toy horse fatigue by the time Xmas day comes around (we arrive at PIL's on the 18th)

Do I need a big pile of grips handed to me? I need to stress that I'm not normally precious - I don't care who buys DD's advent calendar, and MIL is taking her to see Santa - without me and DH - because there's a nice grotto near her house and we know how much it would mean to her for just the two of them to together. I'm not put out by that at all.

But the toy horse thing has rankled. Sigh. AIBU??

celestialgin Sat 12-Dec-15 11:02:22

She'll love your horse much more because she can take him/her home - and name him!
Presumably the 'ride on' horse won't be able to go to bed with her, or sit up at at the table or do all the BFF things that new toys can do?

WorraLiberty Sat 12-Dec-15 11:02:53

No I don't think you are being unreasonable really.

I'm sure she'll love both gifts but they are a bit too close together.

It's what to do though isn't it? fconfused

LIZS Sat 12-Dec-15 11:03:15

Aren't they completely different ? confused can you ask mil to hold off showing it to your dc until after Christmas or next visit.

VashtaNerada Sat 12-Dec-15 11:04:27

Totally get where you're coming from I think it will be okay, especially as yours is coming home with you. The toys they enjoy on Christmas Day aren't always the longterm favourites anyway, you can never predict it!

hesterton Sat 12-Dec-15 11:05:54

I see no reason why you shouldn't say to MIL in a kind and slightly sheepish way that you know you might be being silly but you really don't want the shine taken off her main Christmas present from you, so would she mind not borrowing the horse.

If she's a nice person, she'll understand.

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO Sat 12-Dec-15 11:21:16

do what hesterton said, I wouldnt give her same toy right before big xmas gift!

Rachel0Greep Sat 12-Dec-15 11:32:22

I would just ask her nicely not to have the horse there. I'm sure she means well, and won't mind hiding it, or giving it back to the mate.

Stratter5 Sat 12-Dec-15 11:36:45

It could work in your favour, if she's upset leaving that one behind, she will be ecstatic to get one for Christmas

Whatamuckingfuddle Sat 12-Dec-15 11:36:53

I agree with pps, if you are usually 'normal' about things, it's perfectly acceptable to say 'actually I might be being a bit silly but this is how I feel'. I'm sure she'll be fine and if she isn't just let it go and maybe don't tell her what you're buying next time just in case?

diddl Sat 12-Dec-15 12:11:38

They are different though, aren't they?

It doesn't seem worth making a fuss over to me.

Or are you worried that she'll like the ride on one more & be upset that that is the one she has to leave behind?

RNBrie Sat 12-Dec-15 12:21:44

I really don't think this is an issue. Your dd is going to be over the moon with all the horses and surely that's the main point?

Gruach Sat 12-Dec-15 12:32:34

Ask her if she wouldn't mind putting the other horse away (well hidden) and keeping it for all the times your DD will visit in the future.

If she's nice I'm sure she'll see your point.

Wolpertinger Sat 12-Dec-15 12:38:15

They both sound fabulous. However the ride on one is staying at MIL's and so will be a magical memory of MIL's house while yours she gets to take home and keep forever. Both good smile

3littlebadgers Sat 12-Dec-15 12:55:32

I can sympathise fully. When ds1 and ds2 were little they were mad about trains. I'd bought bits of wooden train set over time to put aside so they could wake up on Christmas morning to a lovely train track all set up for them and two little engines wrapped up and ready to explore.

A few days before my lovely Aunty came over with an electronic train set for around the Christmas tree. While it was so lovely of her there was a part of me that was also heartbroken. The boys loved it though and it was too late for me to do anything about as she sort of just presented it to them there and then.

If you speak to mil I am sure she wouldn't mind putting it aside for another visit. Let dd fully enjoy her Santa present this time. I am sure she will understand.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sat 12-Dec-15 13:38:46

I get your point entirely - and would also ask your MIL if she could maybe keep the ride-on horsey out of sight until after Christmas, because that way there will be no clash.

They are very different though - she might want to bring the ride-on toy horsey home with her as well...

TheSecondViola Sat 12-Dec-15 14:08:48

If she likes horses, she likes horses. The more the better. I'm guessing the child is what, 3?
It really isn't an issue at all.

cariadlet Sat 12-Dec-15 14:16:38

I understand why you're anxious and a bit hurt, but having clicked on the link I'm sure that there's nothing to worry about. They are completely different toys and I'm sure that the ride on horse won't take the shine off the horse that you have bought which can be cuddled and taken to bed.

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