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To ask for your thoughts on crying babies in public places and on trains/buses... what are your thoughts?

(162 Posts)
winterlake Fri 11-Dec-15 15:03:28

My DS has colic and reflux so he screams and cries a lot. He likes being in sling but still cries especially after feeding. Each bout of crying lasts anywhere between 10mins and a few hours.

I get cabin fever being indoors all day. No car so have to use public transport when DH is at work. Recently DS screamed for 35mins on a bus. Everyone was glaring and muttering but there was nothing I could do other than talk to him, jiggle him and keep offering dummy. On a 1-hour train journey he cried inconsolably the whole way. I felt like everyone in the carriage hated us.

On rare occasions we eat out or go to coffee shops he often wakes up and cries. We take it in turns to jiggle him, walk him, take him outside for fresh air, and end up leaving early if he won't settle. My DH thinks we should stay and finish our food, that all babies cry and it's ok if it's in daytime. But I feel like we're ruining other people's meals.

How do you get out and about with a colicky baby? What you do if your baby cries in public? I'm sick of walking round the local park.

What do you think about babies crying in public places or on trains and buses?

Beth2511 Fri 11-Dec-15 15:05:30

Ignore them and carry on. If it makes you feel better getting out and about and doesnt make him any worse then sod the looks. They arent the ones dealing with it 24/7

steppedonlego Fri 11-Dec-15 15:08:14

Whenever I hear a colicky baby in public I remember going through that with my own and would probably be struggling with whether it would be appropriate to go over and reassure you.

ChinaSorrows Fri 11-Dec-15 15:08:43

Dirty looks, comments, nasty people?
Fuck em.

Babies cry, it's ok.

Eminado Fri 11-Dec-15 15:11:01

This is not what you asked but what help are you getting for the reflux?

Ranitidine made a world of difference for us.

megletthesecond Fri 11-Dec-15 15:13:28

It doesn't bother me a bit. And I'd step in if anyone was rude to someone with a crying baby.

macarooni Fri 11-Dec-15 15:13:48

it always sounds much worse to the parents i think!

winterlake Fri 11-Dec-15 15:14:51

Eminado did you get ranitidine on prescription? Our GP won't prescribe reflux meds as DS isn't losing weight. He's on various colic meds.

He cries less when we're out than at home, think the motion of sling/pram calms him.

Eminado Fri 11-Dec-15 15:16:01

Yes we did. After 6 GP visits we went to a&e.

Anotherusername1 Fri 11-Dec-15 15:16:05

Have you tried taking him to a cranial osteopath? They can work wonders for colicky babies.

ProvisionallyAnxious Fri 11-Dec-15 15:16:08

Obviously loud noises (e.g. crying baby) don't improve a journey by public transport. But I always feel badly for the parents involved and would never dream of glaring, tutting, or feeling remotely annoyed with them! (I might throw a sympathetic glance over, and apparently I do have 'resting serious face', as my DH puts it -- so it may look like a grumpy glance but isn't intended to be so!).

Eminado Fri 11-Dec-15 15:16:58

We also went to a cranial oateopath.

chanelfreak Fri 11-Dec-15 15:17:11

OP, i wouldn't bat an eyelid - babies cry! Whenever I see a poor mum with a screaming baby I always try to give her a smile, because I'm sure she is stressed enough without thinking about how other people feel about the baby crying

Tigs0609 Fri 11-Dec-15 15:17:55

I personally don't have a problem with it. Babies cry, sometimes there is nothing that can be done about it. I have always felt like this even before I had my DS. I just empathised with the parents, ignored it and carried on. People who tut and stare irritate me, especially when there is nothing that can be done, and they can tell the parents are getting flustered trying to calm the child down.

However, a child is playing up deliberately who is enough to be disciplined is a different story. I remember being in a restaurant and a couple of kids on the table next to us were rolling on the floor by some stairs (blocking serving staff and customers who were coming up/down the stairs). The parents never said anything to them, even after walking past then to go to the to toilet. hmm

LadyColinCampbell Fri 11-Dec-15 15:19:00

Whenever I hear a piercing baby cry on a train or bus, for a split second I think "Oh here we go angry " but immediately after that I remember that the parents are probably doing their best and that everyone has the right to take public transport! I would never be visibly huffy and scowly at the parents, how rude, it's much worse when it's loud drunk people or really giggly screechy school children IMO.

McColonel Fri 11-Dec-15 15:19:27

I have no problem with crying babies in places people can't avoid such as public transport when they have to get somewhere.

Crying babies in cinemas etc, or any places there is never a need to take a crying baby to is another thing completely.

Fluffyears Fri 11-Dec-15 15:19:27

Got to admit the sound does get to me but it's not something that you can stop. Babies cry and it's a fact of life so if there is a screaming baby around I'll stick on my headphones and deal with it. Pretty sure the mothers with screaming kids are not happy hearing them wail either and are doing their best.

Bloodybridget Fri 11-Dec-15 15:19:51

Exactly what ProvisionallyAnxious said. A screaming baby is a horrible sound, but I'd be more grateful it wasn't my responsibility! Poor you and poor baby, hope things improve soon.

MammaTJ Fri 11-Dec-15 15:21:26

It is irritating but having had children who used to cry occasionally myself, I usually manage a sympathetic smile or comment! I travel on the bus a lot and generally say that we were all babies once, or similar.

If anyone does grumble, I direct that comment at them!

I usually think that the tn minutes or however long I have to endure it is not fun, but the parent is dealing with it 24/7!

LeaLeander Fri 11-Dec-15 15:23:03

Public transport - you need to get where you're going so while unpleasant, it's understandable that you would stay aboard.

Restaurant - sorry but other than in extreme situations (i.e. far from home) dining out is optional. At any place other than a McDonald's type establishment (if that) it's pretty rude to ruin others' enjoyment. Crying babies cause people to tense up and who can eat or enjoy a meal with a knot in the stomach? Not to mention the disruption to conversation and the general ambiance. I really thing it is unreasonable to stay in a restaurant with a child who is crying for more than one minute. One parent should take baby outdoors while the other cancels the order or, if it's been served, waits for it to be boxed for takeout.

Chillyegg Fri 11-Dec-15 15:23:43

Oh God this was me yesterday I went to a gallery exhibition and took my baby. It was middle of the day so not an opening night or a preview or a preview or something. Anyway most people were lovely when she cried some people however looked at me like I'd just shit on the floor! I eventually left and on the way to my car I got tuts and funny looks.
Some people are funny cunts or have short memories about how demanding children are.
One sweet old lady came and asked if I wanted help as my dd would only stop crying g if I held her and so had to push the pram and hold her. Not everyone's a twat! How do you feel baby if you formula the an tired luxury ones are great.

hellsbellsmelons Fri 11-Dec-15 15:24:24

I usually give a sympathetic smile and am very glad it's not me and I'm well passed that stage.
If I'm in a shopping queue and behind 'said screaming child' I usually try to make them smile. I'm quite a good at that as well. They often do engage with others and you can usually keep them amused for a few minutes.
They cry. That's life.

wasonthelist Fri 11-Dec-15 15:27:27

I never mind babies crying- it's what they do. I try to smile sympathetically (probget this wrong, but mea well) Our DD wasn't too bad, but I don't instantly scowl at other peoples. Whilst queing for the plane the other night there was a kid doing that wailing thing they do when they are just trying out their voices pre-words - confess I was glad not to be standing right next to the child, but it wouldn't have been the end of the world. Bloke on the plzne scowled at me because he had to move to let me sit down - some people are just arseholes.

zzzzz Fri 11-Dec-15 15:28:50

Shall I tell you a secret? It sounds MUCH louder when it's your own baby. It really isn't that bad for everyone else.

How old is he?

Go where you need to and just enjoy him as best you can.

slicedfinger Fri 11-Dec-15 15:29:56

If you ever see me muttering about a crying baby it will be because DH and I are remembering how difficult it was and wondering if there is any way to offer support. Honestly I'm sure that's the same for many people who can't take their eyes off you. DD1 screamed for about six months I think and DD3 puked everywhere till about 14 months. Our GP always refused us help 😕

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