Obviously a throwaway account and am limiting some details just in case.
There is a member of DH's family who had her DC close to ours. We've rarely seen any of their family a lot, maybe 4 or 5 times a year, but when DCs were born there was the bit of fuss you'd expect about them being friends, etc. The family member, who I will call Sarah, did say herself both during our pregnancys and after when we texted that she'd love to meet up and do things together. Neither of us had any other pregnant friends so I was really excited- thought it would be lovely to have someone in the same boat and also give me a chance to get to know her as previously we'd not spoken much.
Few months go by and every time we had a conversation, it was me messaging to ask how she was getting on. Fine, I know babies are hard work, I'm obviously more glued to my phone. But it turned out to be the same with doing anything. I made so much effort to get out there and go to groups as soon as my DC was old enough. I never pressured her but did invite her a couple of times. I either never got a reply, but she'd read my message, or she wouldn't go. That's ok too, I went by myself and have made some really good friends.
We did go to one group which I thought went well, and afterwards I tried to make arrangements to do something else one day the following week. Messaged her a few days later, she reads but doesn't reply. I just give up. Find out the next week that on the day I tried to arrange she had other family members round.
I get that she might just not want to see me, I'm obviously not going to be everyone's cup of tea. But it's hurtful? Especially that she can't even decline with grace but just ignores my messages (but manages to message other family members in the same space of time). Having a baby is busy yes, but just doesn't sit with me after months. Especially too, that she's not even my family member, and it makes me feel awkward.
Which brings me to my problem, that they are around for Christmas. What do I do? To be honest I want to just make minimal conversation and focus on other people who obviously do want to talk to me, but I don't want to be spiteful or bitter. Do I buy her DC a present? Obviously arranging more meet-ups is out of the question, but how can I handle this without feeling shunted.
Very petty I know, but I have bad anxiety as it is and have suffered rejection a lot. On top of a terribly difficult year I just need a bit of social advice really.
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AIBU?
to not know how to deal with this situation
14 replies
sociallyinept2015 · 10/12/2015 13:55
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