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Engagement party

(89 Posts)
WhatstheT Thu 10-Dec-15 12:42:00

I'm posting here for traffic really.

Me and Partner had our first child In Jan, and we got engaged this year too. We didn't have a christening, and we don't plan on getting married for a good few years until we have the money, and DD is old enough to be involved.

My question is... what do people think of engagement parties?

We haven't really had a family celebration before, or really arranged any real parties before, and we were considering inviting friends and family for a get together just to celebrate engagement/baby all in one go...

Having never had a party before... not sure what people think of arranging a do for yourself... it would only be renting a room in a social club/having a drink/buffet type of do, but I'm not sure if it's a bit self indulgent ? (Well of course it is.. it's a party for us! lol) There won't be any formalities of speeches (just a thank you for coming)

What do people think when they get invited to this kind of thing? A chore or a good pissup?

Jenda Thu 10-Dec-15 12:43:33

Marking my place as in similar situation, congratulations!

WhatstheT Thu 10-Dec-15 12:45:26

Thanks!, and you smile

jusdepamplemousse Thu 10-Dec-15 12:47:02

Go for it! Only people who could possibly object are killjoys, and they don't have to come. smile

goodnessgraciousgoudaoriginal Thu 10-Dec-15 12:47:28

Rather than billing it as an "engagement party" why not just....have a party? You can still send out invitations and stuff.

There doesn't need to be some sort of compelling reason why you would want to have a get together with friends and family.

That way no-one has any pressure for gifts, or expectations of formalities, or whatever.

mouldycheesefan Thu 10-Dec-15 12:51:32

I think I would focus in organising the wedding instead. Having an engagement party at this late stage seems a little odd.

Or have a party for your daughters first birthday, we had a big party instead of a christening in first birthday

Enjolrass Thu 10-Dec-15 12:53:22

How long have you been engaged?

Personally I would go, if it was someone close. But is does sound like you are having a party just to have a party.

Which is fine, but just have one to have one.

Enjolrass Thu 10-Dec-15 12:54:13

Personally if money was putting off the wedding I would rather put the money towards the wedding so you can get married sooner.

But it's really down to you

expatinscotland Thu 10-Dec-15 12:56:48

Why not get married and have the party? You have the money for a party, you can get married at the Registry Office.

ComposHatComesBack Thu 10-Dec-15 12:56:51

Congratulations!

As far as engagement parties go, I thought they'd pretty much died a death, about 20 or 30 years ago. Of all the friends I've known to marry, I can't recall a single one of them having an engagement party (perhaps they did and didn't invite me).

But if you want a party, go ahead and knock yourself out.

WhatstheT Thu 10-Dec-15 12:59:29

Engagement was November this year, we'd probably arrange something for March/April after everyone is over the Xmas/New year hump.

As I said it would be in a social club, most in my town are free with a refundable deposit, so it would literally be a buffet and that's it, so it's not really worth not doing in order to have a wedding sooner. We're in no rush and as we said, would like our daughter to have an involvement when she's older.

It was more about how people feel being invited to these kinds of things smile

VintageTrouble Thu 10-Dec-15 13:19:08

I haven't been to an engagement party for years and am championing for them to make a come back!

But then I am happy to come to any party where I'm not charged for an invite grin

Nanny0gg Thu 10-Dec-15 13:19:25

I had one 40 years ago...

People may feel obliged to bring presents...

WhatstheT Thu 10-Dec-15 13:24:30

Yeah the present obligation thing is annoying (my side of the family won't, we don't even get xmas presents from them) but my other half's have a card for every occasion haha

cleaty Thu 10-Dec-15 13:24:32

I have only been to one of these. Was enjoyable, but presents were expected.
I would describe it as a party and make it clear it is to have fun. But you need to think about who you invite. It can be hard to have a party that everyone will enjoy from children to elderly people to young party goers. It is sometimes the trying to cater for everyone, that means it isn't really enjoyable for anyone.

pasturesgreen Thu 10-Dec-15 13:27:30

Go ahead! I LOVE engagement parties!

Although Nanny brings up a good point re. presents...

ProcrastinatorGeneral Thu 10-Dec-15 13:29:03

Like a previous poster, the only engagement parties I've ever been invited to were were present generating exercises for the greedy newly engaged couple. Not a fan. Have a party if you want a party, just don't try looking for a 'cause' if there isn't one.

MontyYouTerribleCunt Thu 10-Dec-15 13:30:52

I'd go! Doesn't sound all that unusual to me. Some people might not like 'having' to buy pressies or whatever but just make it clear you categorically don't want any. I guess that people who already know you're engaged and wanted to buy you a gift have probably already done so. We didn't have an engagement party but still got lots of presents which we never expected. Ditto baby presents.

80sWaistcoat Thu 10-Dec-15 13:31:22

Have the party. Just say 'no presents' if you don't want presents. I think its quite nice to have an excuse for a party.

Orda1 Thu 10-Dec-15 13:34:31

I just got engaged too, we are just having a housewarming, I don't really like the idea of engagement parties - no presents expected.

WhatstheT Thu 10-Dec-15 13:45:31

We got one card and no gifts when we announced, people know we aren't grabby. We just fancied a get together.

Thanks for everyones opinions :D

SoWhite Thu 10-Dec-15 13:46:53

Just get married!

You've got the money for a party now - there is literally no point in saving up more to then spend it on a slightly nicer wedding. That money could go on fantastic things that last longer than a day.

cjt110 Thu 10-Dec-15 13:47:20

Ive never been to one nor held one when we got engaged as it isnt our thing. Why don't you just have a "celebration" party to celebrate the new year, your engagement, your DD being here etc

TeenAndTween Thu 10-Dec-15 13:49:29

You do realise that if you have more children you'll need to wait until they're old enough to be involved too?

Plus as child/children get older there will always be a more important need for the money.

Personally I'd go for a registry office wedding and your lovely sounding simple party.

It's not like there is an expectation that children are involved in their parents' wedding.

MontyYouTerribleCunt Thu 10-Dec-15 13:49:30

People must think I'm really grabby as they bought us gifts hmm

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