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To think the bus driver was at fault? (Although I was at fault to begin with)

(23 Posts)
JokerOnTheHilltop Wed 09-Dec-15 22:13:09

I was waiting for the bus at the station with my double buggy. I thought the driver saw me waiting so felt safe to board through the back as usual as the buggy doesn't fit through the front.

The door closed on the buggy, but then opened again and I got on.
The bus driver started to shout at at me that I must wait for him to tell me I could get on the back and that it was dangerous for the children.

In fact, I completely agreed with this and realised that although I thought he saw me, I hadn't waited for him to indicate that I should get on the back. So I apologised.

He then continued to glare at me belligerently for some time, so I asked if he wanted me to get off the bus. Whereupon he continued with the shouting.

I then asked him for his name and said I would be complaining about him. I was quite upset by this time. He refused to give me his name.

Since he was apparently not going to move the bus if I was on it, we got off. I tried to take a photo of the license plate but my phone failed me.

We then had a bit of a shouting match with me in the bus shelter and him on the bus. Very childish I know. (I've had a bad day overall and this is the second thread I've posted about my day)

I'm really not sure what he wanted me to do after I had apologised. Get on my knees and grovel??

AIBU to complain about him? Or do you think I was more to blame?

Surely once I'd apologised, he should have just moved on?

Catsize Wed 09-Dec-15 22:16:14


lushaliciousbob Wed 09-Dec-15 22:16:18

I think he was BU. Having a double buggy to push around is stressful enough without the added pressure of buses. I never understand why people keep on and on even after someone has admitted they were in the wrong and apologised. Make a note of time and bus stop and report.

lushaliciousbob Wed 09-Dec-15 22:17:12

Oh and op. flowers for you for having a rough day. I hope you're okay now.

CatKirk Wed 09-Dec-15 22:19:59

Not your fault. Some make you wait and some don't. There was nothing for him to be yelling at you about and he was on a power trip. Bet he wouldn't have yelled at a man like that. What a fucking day eh.

TheWitTank Wed 09-Dec-15 22:20:08

He was being a knob. You acknowledged you were wrong and apologised. Should be easily identifiable through the bus timetable though (number, route and time). Complain.

ouryve Wed 09-Dec-15 22:20:46

YANBU. The driver went over the top after you realised your error.

When you make your complaint, as you didn't catch the numberplate, let the bus company know the time, location number and final destination of your bus. It should be taken seriously, but good luck if it's Arriva as their customer services are national and bleeding useless.

NoSquirrels Wed 09-Dec-15 22:22:23


What a git. Double pushchairs and buses are a minefield, honestly.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Wed 09-Dec-15 22:23:44

All you did was get on bus with a buggy. You thought the bus driver saw you waiting. Not an unreasonable thought, well in my book at least.
He continued to glare at you after youd apologised. WTF did he want you to do. Kiss his A-hole. He's okay shouting and ranting at a women on her own with 2 babies. My insticts tell me would not have been so vocal had you been a 6ft tall body building man.
I would report him for being abusive.

Preminstreltension Wed 09-Dec-15 22:27:14

Yanbu. The very best thing about children growing up is not having to do the buggy / bus driver face off.

My explanation for the aggro is that I think being a bus driver can be stressful and it's safer to offload on a mum with a buggy than a rowdy gang or a stroppy teenager. No excuse obviously but you did nothing wrong.

JokerOnTheHilltop Wed 09-Dec-15 22:42:53

Thanks everyone. I've been feeling quite embarrassed about this one as a couple of parents from the preschool were witnesses. I feel like a bit of a bully magnet sometimes as I'm usually quite quiet and softly spoken and people think they can get away with saying anything to me. They're quite surprised to find I've a mouth on me when riled.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Wed 09-Dec-15 22:46:03

Why do you feel embarrassed. You weren't the one being an abusive wanker.

LittleMiss77 Wed 09-Dec-15 22:55:52

YANBU - not at all. You apologised and he (for some reason) couldnt get over it.

Complain, and dont worry about not getting a pic of the bus. You have the number, the time and the location.... the bus company will know who was driving.

ClancyMoped Wed 09-Dec-15 23:15:31


YANBU about the situation and because the driver sounds like he was being unpleasant

But YABU for shouting and getting ranty. It's very childish and pointless.

The bus will have CCTV won't it ?

MalhamWaterfall Wed 09-Dec-15 23:18:38

I don't think he should have shouted, but I also don't think you realise how irresponsible you were and how scared he was by that.

What if - god forbid - he had hurt your children because you decided to hop on without bothering to wait to tell him? It sounds as if he was frightened and didn't feel safe with you there - and you admit you were being childish.

You don't mention that he ever told you to get off the bus - only that he was glaring at you, and that prompted you to start a verbal argument again. Did he actually ask you to get off the bus, before that?

Mmmmcake123 Wed 09-Dec-15 23:26:17

Maybe the bus driver was having a bad day too. I imagine there are a lot of health and safety guidelines that are difficult to adhere to. Obviously that doesn't excuse his behaviour but it sounds like you both got a bit het up under pressure. A complaint to a workplace can have serious consequences so unless you resolutely feel his behaviour was completely out of order I would consider it. You haven't said what he was saying to you. Hope you are OK tho xx

Blu Wed 09-Dec-15 23:33:35

It is possible to be NBU and yet not complain. he shouted at you, you shouted back.
You were having a bad day, he sounds as if he was having a bad day.
Hope for a better day tomorrow.

Blu Wed 09-Dec-15 23:34:58

Also, what Malham said.

ouryve Thu 10-Dec-15 00:43:09

TBH, I'm not sure what the London insistence on rear doors gains in terms of speed and passenger comfort. It sacrifices actual seats and the driver still has to stop and pay attention to who is getting on - it's harder than front doors only, when there is no conductor.

i can understand the 2 sets of doors when there's lots on, lots off (and when you're 9, leaving different doors has its excitement factor), but the 3 sets that some buses have just gets stupidly complicated.

kali110 Thu 10-Dec-15 00:50:06

Completely agree with malham, he should't have shouted at you but you acted irresponsibly.
He never told you to get off the bus either. I can imagine he was angry at you, imagine if he had hurt you or your little one. He was probably shook up about it.
I wouldn't complain.
Neither of you were really in the right you both shouted at each other.

JokerOnTheHilltop Thu 10-Dec-15 06:10:02

It's interesting to see that there are people who take his side too, at least to some extent (as does DH). I was actually very calm and polite when I asked if he wanted me to get off the bus Malham as I was just confused by the extended glaring.
I do agree that I probably overreacted though and shouldn't have shouted back. I'll have a think about whether to complain or not.

greenfolder Thu 10-Dec-15 06:43:27

Nothing wrong with him telling you it was dangerous. Do they have a sign by the rear door? How can the rear door be open without them assuming that people will try and board a stationary bus by it?

His belligerence was wrong though. Complain today. Most buses have comprehensive cctv but it's only kept for a short time.

BikeGeek Thu 10-Dec-15 08:12:37

I don't understand why you asked him if he wanted you to get off? Did he actually say yes to this or was he still going on about the earlier incident?

It doesn't sound like he behaved professionally but it does sound like your actions made it into a much bigger deal than it needed to be. Why not just stay on the bus, ignore the driver glared and get off at your stop?

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