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To think that if you're at a school nativity and your baby/toddler refuses to stop crying/whining then you should take them the hell out!

(41 Posts)
EvaJacobs1 Wed 09-Dec-15 17:55:04

Youngest child's first ever school Christmas performance today so inevitably I was looking forward to it, well it was completely and utterly bloody ruined by other parents allowing their children to scream bloody murder. Now I am a mum of four so i know all to well that children make noise and not always at the best of times, but Aibu to think that if your child is making that much noise that the other parents cannot hear their children do their parts/sing their songs then you do the decent thing and take them outside to calm down.

FaFoutis Wed 09-Dec-15 18:00:38

It was the grandparents that ruined my child's performance today - I couldn't see a thing because they all got there 2 hours early, sat at the front and and kept standing up to talk to their friends.

I don't mind the crying babies / toddlers, the mothers are there for the same reason as me. They don't want to miss it either.

Cardbordeaux Wed 09-Dec-15 18:02:33

It depends on the performance I think. Our school does two performances, one that younger children can attend and one for adults only. If you're attending the one for young children then you need to expect noise, talking, young children calling out to their older siblings, etc.

Was it actual screaming/crying?

EvaJacobs1 Wed 09-Dec-15 18:07:17

Yes it was ear piercing screaming AND crying, and unfortunately there was only one performance.

TheWitTank Wed 09-Dec-15 18:07:29

I always took my youngest out if he screamed or was very noisy during performances. I usually went very well prepared though with fun snacks and books though so it wasn't often luckily! I think you have to expect a certain amount of talking level noise, rustling, calling out of sibling names etc at a nativity, but actual screaming/crying/tantrums should be dealt with by exiting ASAP.

WhatTheHellDoIDoNoww Wed 09-Dec-15 18:07:47

Our school has a no preschooler/baby policy. They will turn parents away if they try to bring them in. Not sure I agree with that, it's nice for the little ones to see their older siblings and it's hardly a West End show even though we have to pay £2.50 per ticket shock.

It wouldn't bother me much to be honest, I would expect some noise in a crowded school hall - it's the mothers who decide to start loudly gossiping who get my goat!

Constant screaming from the same child should have been dealt with though by teacher telling them to take child out.

hypercalifragilistic Wed 09-Dec-15 18:09:31


I think you should ALWAYS remove your crying child when it is humanly possible. Obviously not in the waiting room at the GP, or in a train, but you should everywhere else. I lost count of the number of story times, rhyme times etc completely spoil by a screaming kid.

It's really unfair at a school nativity, when all the kids have gone through a lot of work and are really proud.

I do take my own out, even if it means missing out. It is a shame it's no longer considered basic manners for some. It's not the same if they are just a bit noisy talking and singing along.

CremeEggThief Wed 09-Dec-15 18:10:56

YANBU. And a teacher shouldn't have to tell them to take a crying/screaming baby out. The parent should go as soon as the noise starts, try to settle down outside, and then return.

Loftsequin Wed 09-Dec-15 18:16:16

This makes me feel better for missing DS's!

Orange1969 Wed 09-Dec-15 18:20:21

I had a screaming brat who ruined my wedding by howling through the service.

The parents only made it worse by arguing as to who should take the wailing, nappy pissing horror out,


TheHiphopopotamus Wed 09-Dec-15 19:06:21


Some parents at dd's school also think it's ok to let their pre-school children wander about onto the stage when the production is going on. They look around with an 'aw, aren't they cute?' look on their faces.

No! It sodding isn't. It's distracting and annoying. If you can't keep them under control, don't bring them. It's not fair on other parents or the children who are performing.

LyndaNotLinda Wed 09-Dec-15 19:22:12

YANBU - really gets on my tits. I think there should be an announcement before the start that children whose parents let their sibling scream won't be given a part the following year. It's so unfair on the children who have worked so hard to project their voices and have only practiced in front of audiences who are quiet.

Similarly, they should tell the audience that they will be asked to leave if they're standing up and/or chatting.

hazeyjane Wed 09-Dec-15 19:23:33

I think people should take them out, I have taken ds out when he was younger, but I kind of accept that there will be babies and children screaming/crying/ chatting, and I like that siblings are welcome.

At ds's harvest festival, there was a baby screaming through the whole thing in my ear. To be honest her screaming didn't bother me as much as the mum repeatedly telling her to 'shut up' (she was about 9 months old, so didn't)

When it comes down to it, I want to see ds. I want him to see me there looking happy and proud, and I can do both those things with babies screaming. Although I will ask anyone who shoves an ipad in front of my face so they can film their dc, to find a better place to do that!

Brokenwardrobe Wed 09-Dec-15 19:34:16

the wailing, nappy pissing horror
Wow, orange, I really hope you don't have any children

YANBU, noise is ok, but screaming needs to be taken outside, it's just common sense. It's not like the parent can even enjoy the show while holding a screaming child.

MrsRogerSterling Wed 09-Dec-15 19:38:39

YANBU, when dd1 was in her reception performance dd2 who was less than 4 months old started to wail and couldn't be comforted so I stepped out into the school hallway with her and watched dd1 through a small window in the door. I was sad to miss it but at the same time didn't want to spoil it for everyone else. It's basic manners!

VelvetSpoon Wed 09-Dec-15 19:46:43


It's really fucking ignorant to just sit there, jiggling your screaming baby on your knee, smiling at everyone, because you're too lazy or stupid to remove yourself and said child (thereby meaning only you miss out) and instead a whole section of the hall - who can't hear over the wailing - miss their DC's performance.

Stand near the back, and go out when they start misbehaving. Not rocket science!

I used to find it massively annoying because my DC's school only did performances at 1.30pm. I had to take a whole bloody day off therefore to be there, and then couldn't hear most of it due to other people's bloody kids. The worst time was DS2's Y6 performance, at least half of it was spoilt by the 4 yo sibling of one girl in DS2's class who was continuously calling out, jumping up and down, and generally being disruptive. Sadly his thick as pigshit parents thought it was acceptable to sit there with him, and not even ask him to be quiet angry

At DC's school they always used to ask no young children were brought to performances, but everyone ignored it and the teachers took no notice - if it was up to me, I'd say anyone with babies/young children has to sit at the back/near the door and tell them to take said children out if they started to make a noise!

Gatehouse77 Wed 09-Dec-15 19:54:15

Our primary had an afternoon performance which younger siblings could attend so a certain amount of noise was accepted. Full on crying would have been met with Paddington stares from other parents which generally worked.

The evening performance was not for younger children but, even then, there was a degree of tolerance.

longingforfun Wed 09-Dec-15 19:54:49

yanbu. I always took my dc out if they started grizzling. not fair on others who are trying to enjoy the performance. Same goes for restaurants.

I8toys Wed 09-Dec-15 19:55:21

YANBU - its not just the people watching. What about the kids who've worked hard to learn lines and songs and want to perform for their parents - its off putting for them when there are screaming kids. Also the teachers who have put time and effort into getting their children to show their performance to the audience - it must be annoying and frustrating. Just take them out - don't ban them but keep disruption to a minimum for those on the stage!!

SueGeneris Wed 09-Dec-15 19:57:08

Yep. I saw the first 5 mins of DS1's nativity today because I could not keep 11 mo DS2 quiet. When I had to go out for the third time I left and went home. It's not fair on the children who have worked hard practising their lines or on their parents who want to see and hear them. YANBU

toobreathless Wed 09-Dec-15 20:01:33


I went to my DDs nativity yesterday and the handful of younger sibs were impeccably behaved including my two, no need to take any of them out.

I sat next to the aisle then pushed DD2s chair out a smidge so she could see, she was enthralled and didn't move an inch. The baby (6 weeks) was fed in the car park and slept through out in a sling, we had deliberately had a long wonder up to the school so he would be fast asleep. We also went to the quieter 1400 performance as I thought they would be ratty by 1800.

But as much as a squeak we would have left.

Peppapigallowsmetoshower Wed 09-Dec-15 20:01:58

YANBU. As a teacher it really annoyed me and I thought how rude and inconsiderate it was. Now as a parent, if anything ruins my son's nativity I think I would burst with rage (aye, silently like, but inner fuming!)

And I'm well aware that he'll have a younger sibling and if said sibling starts to whine then I know I'd need to get up and miss it so as not to spoil it for everyone else. Because that's what a decent human being does. But not everyone out there gives a shiny star-covered shit cares. But glad to see MN troops in a NBU alliance smile

MontyYouTerribleCunt Wed 09-Dec-15 20:08:45

the wailing nappy pissing horror

Ah the blushing bride. Bootiful! grin

Yanbu OP. This is basic manners - if your "nappy pissing horror" hmm is kicking off, go outside. Why people don't do this I never understand.

nippiesweetie Wed 09-Dec-15 20:14:06

I8toys Teacher here. You are so right. It really is about the children. An eight year olds one line is important to them and it is awful when it is spoilt by screaming kids. All the children have worked hard and an attentive audience is the very least they deserve.

Our school goes the two performances route and this helps a lot. We've also learned to usher parents out the fire door when they try picking up their nursery kids after their 'bit' so they can take them into the hall. 'Oh you have to go. Just nip out this way because the older classes are using the rear door for entrances.'

On a brighter note there was a man in the audience during our afternoon performance who commented audibly during breaks for applause. 'Oh that's excellent.' 'Wasn't that good.' 'Superb.'

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Wed 09-Dec-15 20:15:35

Not a nativity play (but vaguely relevant because of the spoiled wedding story) - we were complimented on how well ds1 had behaved and how quiet he'd been, at our friends' wedding - we held our hands up and said that was only because, apart from about the first 5 minutes of the service, he'd been in the car in Sainsburys car park, with dh - who had whipped him out at the first squeak.

It is so unfair on the children who have worked so hard, if parents don't take their children out if they are being noisy.

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