Today he is being an absolute stinker. I've never known such tyrannical behaviour.
Firstly, I changed his nappy and got him dressed. What a mistake that was. I was the most awful, horrible person EVER. How dare I ensure a clean bum and provide clean clothes?
Then we went to the park and I put him in the swing because, you know, he can't do it himself yet. Bad move. I mean, why on earth would I do such a thing? Why would a mother take her child to the park and think he might enjoy it?
At lunch time I had the audacity to help him eat his scrambled egg. Just so that it went in his mouth, you know?
The very worst thing, though, was when I peeled his banana just now. Worst. Mummy. Ever. How was I to know he wanted to eat the bloody skin?
Just wait till he's 3.... DD Has been a sod to me culminating in her shouting at me because I told her, for the fourth time in the space of as many minutes, that I would.call her when the biscuit dough was ready to cut.