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to arrange a little birthday lunch

(21 Posts)
waitingforsomething Wed 09-Dec-15 10:04:59

I am 30 next weekend and was thinking about arranging a small lunch/brunch/afternoon tea with a few friends if they are about. Only trouble is I got married last weekend and same friends made a lot of effort to be there/bridesmaid in some cases and buy gifts.
Is it rude to expect another celebration on my account so soon after my wedding? I'm not expecting gifts - just an hour or so with some friends. Aibu?

OwlinaTree Wed 09-Dec-15 10:11:05

Dunno it's tricky isn't it? I didn't do a big party for my 30th for this reason, I knew the wedding was coming up.

A little tea party is OK though, could you afford to pay for the guests?

KeepOnMoving1 Wed 09-Dec-15 10:14:12

I think it would be a bit much if people would be expected to pay. Could you have something at home or cater it yourself?

waitingforsomething Wed 09-Dec-15 10:31:14

I can't really afford to pay for everyone because of aforementioned wedding. Perhaps I'll just invite some friends over in the eve - ive got loads of leftover booze from the wedding!

Enjolrass Wed 09-Dec-15 13:07:14

Got to be honest, sil did this and most didn't go.

Cost and the fact that they had given up most of a weekend 10 days before meant lots of people weren't up for it.

Daisysbear Wed 09-Dec-15 13:10:49

I think it would probably be a bit much. Particularly as it's also a weekend quite close to Christmas and people might have other stuff they need to attend.
Could you postpone your celebration and invite people over for a drink in the new year to mark the occasion (specifying no presents).

MaxPepsi Wed 09-Dec-15 13:12:23

I'd say you'd left it to late in the run up to Xmas.

Wouldn't bother me that I'd just been to your wedding but if you hadn't already pencilled something in I would struggle to fit you in.

I have had plans each weekend since Mid Nov and after this weekend is out of the way I have something on every bloody night til Xmas!

waitingforsomething Wed 09-Dec-15 13:15:54

Thanks mn you have confirmed what I was thinking. It's a crap time of year for a birthday anyway, I guess I just felt because it's my 30th I should do something but I'll just get a takeaway with Dh and as someone mentioned perhaps throw a bash for new year drinks

Whoknewitcouldbeso Wed 09-Dec-15 13:29:51

I would just celebrate with close family. Do you have immediate family that you could go out for a meal with? Mum, Dad, siblings, DH?

MontyYouTerribleCunt Wed 09-Dec-15 13:33:25

Yanbu. You can't help when your birthday is and it's an invite not a summons. Maybe invite but make it clear you know it might not be doable for some and don't act like a cock if people say they can't make it. I recently attended a baby shower one weekend and a birthday lunch the following weekend for the same person. I had to take a couple of trains each way and arrange for DH to stay at home with DC but I was happy to do it.

Daisysbear Wed 09-Dec-15 13:35:10

I think people would really appreciate an invite to something nice in January smile

LizardBreath Wed 09-Dec-15 13:38:45

Hmm.. If you were my friend id be suggesting we did something! It's a big birthday and only a lunch.. Why not get a couple of definite people in and then say to everyone else 'we'll be here from xxx time, pop in if you're free' then makes it a bit flexible

waitingforsomething Wed 09-Dec-15 14:54:57

I have DH and my mum- no other family nearby. Will probably just get a takeaway with them. I had such a good time at my wedding with our friends who all live 1-3 hours away but obviously made the effort to come. I think it has reminded me a bit that I actually don't have many friends in my home city (2 young kids, job out of the city) and making me feel a bit folorn leading up to my birthday with no one much to invite. It is a bit close to xmas not to have arranged anything yet so I'll give it a miss and look at Jan.

MontyYouTerribleCunt Wed 09-Dec-15 15:00:13

Ah I can totally sympathise OP. I am a SAHM with no one much nearby. I think waiting till January is a fine plan. If you're feeling a bit forlorn you might not like it if lots of people can't make it next weekend. My previous advice was based on you not really minding of a few couldn't come.

Hope you have a lovely night in with takeaway! Sounds nice. Or maybe mil could watch DCs and DH could take you out? Birthday cake for you anyway.

waitingforsomething Wed 09-Dec-15 15:03:21

Thanks Monty. I wouldn't mind but I fear it would be everyone!
I will eat cake (now fitting in wedding dress has been achieved!) and hang out with Dh

Enjolrass Wed 09-Dec-15 15:32:44

Could it be you have a bit of post wedding blues?

Nothing wrong with that, I did too.

waitingforsomething Wed 09-Dec-15 16:00:08

Probably! It was a big build up

expatinscotland Wed 09-Dec-15 16:04:54

Definitely go for a drinks night in January. Too much to ask if you expect them to pay and in the run up to Xmas, a lot of people are stretched for time/cash.

Enjolrass Wed 09-Dec-15 18:27:04

I was on honeymoon and got post wedding blues.

It's the same as holiday Blues.

It's nice when everyone gets together for something like a wedding. If you do it in January at least you have something to look forward to.

I used to be a wedding coordinator. It's very common.

Bluecheese22 Wed 09-Dec-15 19:19:17

I'd make the effort to come for a 'big' birthday regardless of how recent your wedding had been.

expatinscotland Wed 09-Dec-15 19:24:20

That's nice, Blue, but a lot of people could not afford to make that effort if they just spent a lot on someone's wedding and just two weeks before Christmas.

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