AIBU to castrate the agricultural contractor and his assistant?

[QuietTiger]

Long story short, DH is a farmer. Following all the rain, he's FINALLY managed to organise the contractor to come and forage the maize today. He explained to the contractor last night that he would meet him at the farm buildings away from the house, at stupid o'clock very early, rather than have the contractor come into the house yard, knock the back door, set off all (6) of the dogs and waking up 11 month old DD who has been ill and and is now sleeping through the night again after recovering.

DH also needed time to catch the farm cats and crate them so that they were out of the way of the large agricultural machinery (They are very spooky with strangers, so need to be handled quietly). Agricultural contractor agreed protocol with DH, everyone happy.

So at 4.30am, You can imagine that I was very surprised to hear banging on the back door (DH had been out since 4am feeding and crating the cats), the dogs going mental in the yard, to see lots of lights from huge agricultural vehicles. Cue DD awake and screaming, me having to get out of bed the HORRORS! 4 hours before DD normally wakes up, which means that she was difficult to resettle and will knacker her schedule today, because she's been startled awake at a ridiculous hour.

It appears that the contractor had FORGOTTEN to tell his assistant to meet DH up at our sheds, rather than at the house and so he was banging the door for DH to give him the keys to the yard. I was quite abrupt when I got to the back door and didn't mince my words.

Agricultural contractor has called me a harridan to DH and accused DH of being under the thumb. DH thinks it's hilarious that the contractor thinks "I'm scary wife", although he has had a go at the contractor about waking DD when he'd made specific alternative arrangements and is pissed off about the lack of communication.

Me, I'd quite happily castrate the contractor using castration rings that get put on the lambs (and threatened to do so). DH reckons I need to calm down a bit (and made me a coffee). In the interests of full disclosure, I got DD back to sleep reasonably quickly and DH managed to catch the cats to crate them for their own safety today. I however have lost 2 1/2 hours sleep and am not happy.

Should I castrate the both the Agricultural contractor, his assistant, or both? Or let them off? DH has escaped my wrath because he had the sense to apologise (even though it wasn't really his fault) and make me a coffee!

[LineyReborn]

Is this another Archers thread?

[DoreenLethal]

So you are paying someone who insults you?

I would not use him again.

[QuietTiger]

No Liney - not an Archers thread - DH is in fact a farmer!

[NeededANameChangeAnyway]

I think the assistant couldn't have known - although I presume all the lights in the house were off so maybe he could have used his brain and looked about the yard first. 4.30 is a god awful time to be up for anyone, glad you got back to sleep though!

[NeededANameChangeAnyway]

Ah. You didn't get back to sleep...... are you making them lunch? If so, a nice salad and cool glasses of lemonade for the contractor while your dh gets a hot pie or something should get your point across nicely.

[OldCrowMedicineShow]

Yanbu. Kill him.

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

YANBU , but I think I'd have left a note on the door

Please go to the sheds DO NOT RING THE FUCKING BELL UNLESS THE HOUSE IS ACTUALLY ON FIRE

IMlimtedE farmers are up with the lark, he probably thought you'd be brewing up.

[1frenchfoodie]

Not much to be done now about how you reacted - and I think it was understandable in the circumstances. As for him thinking you are a harridan a bit of good cop/bad cop with your DH may even be helpful. I'm pretty sure the contractor and assistant will be mindful of the need to do a good job.

I did come on this thread thinking you meant 'castigate' rather than castrate - 1st seems more reasonable for a first offence

[glentherednosedbattleostrich]

Sympathies, my neighbours car alarm went of from 4 until 5.15 this morning so I've been up since stupid o clock too.

Personally (and it may be the lack of sleep) anyone who woke me and then called me a harridan would be being fed to the dogs.

[catfordbetty]

DH reckons I need to calm down a bit

Yes.

[contrary13]

"So you are paying someone who insults you?
I would not use him again."

^ This.

I was supposed to be having a new shed erected on Monday, with the old one being demolished (please note the "supposed to"!). Someone was hired to do so and my elderly parents offered to come up and give me a hand in emptying the old shed/carting the rubbish we've accumulated in it to the local tip. All well and good. Except, when the bloke arrived, I was outside, in the old shed and up to my neck in years worth of hanging basket frames (seriously: do they breed?! We seem to have an entire colony of them - and I'm not a hanging basket person...) and so my DM let him into the house.

He assumed that she was the house owner.

I'd popped into the house to remind my DD that she needed to get her arse into gear otherwise she'd miss the bus to uni, and was on my way back out just as the bloke was wandering back into it (no back gate, which meant he'd have to wander through the house) and my DM was saying to him: "Just to let you know, there are indoor cats, so the door needs to be kept shut, please...". Bloke nodded his head, closed the door behind him (in my DM's face, but she's an adult and could have dealt with that herself if she chose to) and, as though completely oblivious to the fact that I was standing to one side so that he could get past, said - to the rocking chair, actually, he completely ignored me - "I know there are fucking cats... I can smell them you stupid bitch!"

I may have exploded somewhat.

Quietly and with the use of a lot of long words that I'm not entirely sure he actually understood. My DM said afterwards that she and my dad watched through the window of the door as I turned to him and my mouth opened. They couldn't hear what I was hissing at him, apparently, but knew that I was furious. And I was. I still am, and it's two days later! He was told in no uncertain terms to get the fuck out of my house and to not even think about being paid for the entire 15 minutes he'd been on my property. His excuse? "I didn't know you were the house-holder!". Doesn't matter. I could have been the cleaner (oh, how I'd love a cleaner...), or the au pair for all that it mattered. People with manners do not insult the person employing them, or their home. They can think what they like inside the sanctuary of their own heads... but it's best not to voice it. Because if someone takes offence at what they say, or do, then it's going to lose them employment/money, at the end of the day.

And yes; we have an elderly, slightly incontinent cat - but the over-riding odour in the house is the stuff we use to clean up after him (I'm more than slightly paranoid about the stench of cat urine, to be honest, so I go out of my way to make sure that it's eradicated, but as my 18 year old cat has feline dementia, he forgets where his litter trays are every now and then. Other than euthanising an otherwise healthy and very happy cat, there's not a lot I can do about that!). And to call my DM, who had been nothing but polite to him, a stupid bitch?! Whilst I - the person who was going to pay him for a day's work - am standing right there?! No way, no how. Not happening.

Afterwards, I realised that my DD had sent me a text when he'd arrived saying: "Bloke's here. Good luck. He looks like a real Git." And my DD is usually the worst judge of character going, so for her to call it as she watched him swagger on up to the house (her words, not mine)... well.

So, OP, you were right to lose your temper. Maybe the contractor and his assistant will think twice next time they have a job on, about the client's requests. Particularly if they know there's a very young child in the house who needs their rest and/or easily spooked animals who need to be gathered for their own safety.

But as Doreen says... don't employ them again!

[lalalonglegs]

I think it was an innocent mistake and your husband is stirring things by reporting back to you what was said.

[ingeniousidiot]

Don't think that your lamb pliers will be big enough, but good luck

[QuietTiger]

Contrary13 - I think you handled that admirably. Had someone been rude about my cats, I think I would've gone more than mental! My DM probably would've said something - she knows what I'm like about the cats! I feel your pain re incontinent 18 year olds - we have a couple of ancient geriatrics in our gang of 14 that have "issues".

Sadly the agricultural contractor is the least worst of a bad bunch for this particular type of job. I doubt after my reaction they'll as blase again regarding DH's requests, however.

Sanity is restored at least - the contractor is doing his job and as DH pointed out, now I've gone ballistic at least he knows not to do it next time. DD is now at nursery, so happy and they can deal with her tantrums from lack of sleep and I have enough coffee in me to sink a battleship.

Lalalonglegs - DH is probably stirring it a bit, but he'll get his due as he's forgotten who he sleeps next to and who is capeable of stealing all the duvet!

Ingeniousidiot - if the castration rubbers don't work, there is always the burditzzo that DH uses on calves which also have the added bonus of making a satisfying crunch!