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I gave a mate an elbow and she's saying I really hurt her, warning very teenage

(47 Posts)
Namechangedec15 Mon 07-Dec-15 12:24:17

The other night I was out with a friend, she's very high maintenance. She'd been sniping all night, when I said things like "I think it closes at 8" or "I think we are about half way round" she'd correct me when when it became obvious what the answer is in an annoying way "you were wrong... Bla bla". She started having digs at my diet as I didn't want chips or a waffel when we were out, I'd already had my dinner and wasn't hungry. Then she did a big " omg that's my ex there quite loudly ", I said much quieter back " which one? What colour coat". She said nothing and then 2 mins later started having a go at me saying "I'm not telling you anything anymore, you are really loud and he could of heard" despite me saying it much quieter and less obvious than her. I gave her an elbow and said "ah calm down". I thought it was pretty light, but she carried on saying it was really hard and really hurts. I apologized several times and said I didn't mean to hurt and was just a friendly tap. I then said how she had been annoying me, she went into a " its just banter, that's who I am, if I have to think about everything I say then we cant really be friends".

I'd spent the weekend helping her move home with a shoulder that was dislocated several weeks ago, so maybe i have a higher threshold for pain, but it really was a gentle tap. I get elbowed more than that just on a rush hour train.

She sent a message last night just saying "my shoulder still hurts". I ignored it. She sent another message just now saying "I'm going to have to see me homeopath about my shoulder'. She's very much into her woo.

She's a total hypochondriac, I've seen her one night saying i feel a bit rough due to lack of sleep and she's sent a text a few days later saying " you were ill the other night and passed flu to me". She often makes herself ill IMO with her negative thoughts, you just have to cough in the same room as her then she announces "I'm going to get ill".

Yes its very pathetic, but what would you do? Apart from obviously not meet up again with her.

TheWitTank Mon 07-Dec-15 12:27:11

Clearly you are not friends. There seems to be a lot of bad feeling between you and you don't seem to like each other at all! Just ignore, and continue ignoring IMO.

CoraPirbright Mon 07-Dec-15 12:27:46

Frankly I would kick her into touch - she sounds absolutely awful. Does she have any redeeming features?

ImperialBlether Mon 07-Dec-15 12:28:11

She sounds really, really young. About 11, tbh. Do you enjoy her company?

Namechangedec15 Mon 07-Dec-15 12:29:03

It is very love / hate. After spending a weekend with her, I won't be seeing her again anytime soon tbh.

MontyYouTerribleCunt Mon 07-Dec-15 12:31:22

She sounds awful tbh from your OP. I would totally ignore her. She sounds like someone I would rather not communicate with at all really.

Is she angling for you to pay for her homeopath at all do you think?

WhatchaMaCalllit Mon 07-Dec-15 12:32:25

You mention in your thread title that the post is very teenage but how old is the friend who complained about the dig you gave her?

Also how did you elbow her in her shoulder (if that's what she is saying is hurting her) unless you're crazy tall???

As you've already apologised for hurting her, then as she has already given you an 'out', take it. Say to her (if she does contact you again), that you can't think about everything you say and do with her so you're taking her advice and you can no longer be friends.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Mon 07-Dec-15 12:32:25

When my kids complain of a pain, my stock response is 'DADDY, GET THE BIG KNIFE, <CHILD> HAS HURT HIS FOOT SO WE MUST CHOP IT OFF!' Makes them giggle and forget the 'hurt'.

Could you try that? grin

MrsGentlyBenevolent Mon 07-Dec-15 12:33:39

She sounds exactly like an old friend of mine. And by 'old', I mean ex. I can't deal with hypochondriacs of that level, they are exhausting and usually very self-centred people.

Booyaka Mon 07-Dec-15 12:33:51

You both sound as bad as each other tbh. It sounds like you were dragging her around the shops while she was hungry and drawing it right out even though you knew she was fed up. And she was irritating about her ex too. Neither of you sounds like you either like or respect each other so just draw a line under it.

josephwrightofderby Mon 07-Dec-15 12:34:02

The question I have is: why are you doing this TO YOURSELF? Her behaviour is on the edge of disrespectful, uncaring, humiliating. What part of you says it's OK for you to be treated that way?

Duckdeamon Mon 07-Dec-15 12:41:22

Yanbu if you don't want to be friends, and for ignoring further drama after your apology for hurtinh her. but yabu for saying she "brings on illness" with negative thoughts!

Namechangedec15 Mon 07-Dec-15 12:43:44

I do like her in small doses.

I think she just wants attention, or is trying to make out that I'm a volient person (I did once slap an ex in a drunken argument when I was 19 and he put his face right in my face and kept saying 'do it. Hit me'. But apart from that I've not been violent as an adult at all.

We are the same height, so actually it was in the arm so even more reason why if her shoulder is hurting it is purely psychosomatic.

Boo, we were doing an illuminated Christmas walk that she wanted to do. She was hungry so bough some food on the way round and was annoyed that I didn't want to do the same. You've made several assumptions.

CoraBeth Mon 07-Dec-15 12:46:16

All way to busy for me.
How can you live like that?

Namechangedec15 Mon 07-Dec-15 12:48:17

Duck psychosomatic disorders are very much real.

Beth I know blush I just have one friend like this, and she's brought me down to her level.

CoraBeth Mon 07-Dec-15 12:51:33

I'd take a break. wink

TheWitTank Mon 07-Dec-15 12:51:57

I just couldn't be arsed with all that. Friendships are supposed to be enjoyable and easy, not forced and hard work.

ExitPursuedByABear Mon 07-Dec-15 12:56:36

What's an illuminated Christmas walk?

DonkeyOaty Mon 07-Dec-15 13:04:34

An illuminated Christmas walk is stumping round the shops after they've shut innit.

howtorebuild Mon 07-Dec-15 13:04:38

You must be into woo too if you can determine if another person's pain is real or not, can you tell us next Saturday's lottery numbers?

You're frienemies. I don't know why you both bother with each other.confused

DonkeyOaty Mon 07-Dec-15 13:06:47

Whilst using curiously inflated language.

CFSsucks Mon 07-Dec-15 13:09:20

She sounds like a lot of hard work and I wouldn't bother. I don't have the energy for people like this. The arm/shoulder thigh would wind me right up. She sounds like a drama queen pita.

You both sound like a pair of kids.

Are you sure it was that light though? You done it when annoyed,clearly, and after you done it and she moaned you told her you were annoyed.

Btw a 'blow' to the arm can actually hurt a shoulder, trust me.

Pumpkinpositive Mon 07-Dec-15 13:12:36

You're right, that is very childish both of you.

Take a break. But I'd be preparing to receive a bill from her for her "medical costs." She seems to be setting the scene.

TwoInTheMourning Mon 07-Dec-15 13:14:02

How old are you both?

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