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WIBU to have asked this couple to move?

(59 Posts)
LondonStill83 Mon 07-Dec-15 11:54:37

Not too serious but a very odd situation...

DH and I had grabbed some food at a local food market, then walked down to the river to eat it. By the river there are these long cement walls, about waist height, which form the walls of the garden iyswim? Everyone sits on them and eats their food, lounges around, etc.

Anyway yesterday wasn't super busy surprisingly. There was a long wall (I would say about half a kilometre long?) and only us and another couple on it. So there was TONS of space for others to come and sit, eat, etc.

Then this lady comes up and sets her coffee down about a foot away from my thigh. I thought it was odd that she chose to do it so close, it was kind of like an empty bus and the person still chooses to sit next to you? Anyway she fumbled with her coffee up for a while and hen was joined by a man. They both fumbled around for a while, then she puts her bag right next to me (touching my thigh), pulls out a cigarette, and lights up!

Literally about five inches from my face whilst I was eating!!! The guy she was with did the same.

So I asked her if she would mind moving down as she was smoking right in my face whilst I was trying to eat.

She glared at me, so did the guy, for a few seconds before grudgingly moving about two feet down.

Why? Why on earth would you rock up next to someone who is eating, sit directly next to them, and light up a fag? I wasn't even sitting that close to DH!!!

So WIBU to ask her to move, and to be annoyed that her continual glares put a dampener on our lovely lunch???

WorraLiberty Mon 07-Dec-15 11:57:02

Yanbu to ask her to move.

Yabu to be still thinking about it.

LondonStill83 Mon 07-Dec-15 11:59:52

Worra, fair enough.

Rest assured I am not het up about it- just thought it was odd and that mumsnet would enjoy a lighthearted AIBU.

MagpieCursedTea Mon 07-Dec-15 12:03:29

I can see how that would be annoying, YWNBU to ask her to move.

RiverTam Mon 07-Dec-15 12:05:39

Weird. Well done for asking them to move.

I think some people are utterly oblivious to those around them.

HermioneWeasley Mon 07-Dec-15 12:07:30

How weird - them not you. I'd have moved myself

LondonStill83 Mon 07-Dec-15 12:07:39

River, yes, I think that was it.

It was almost funny how brazen she was- just dump my bag here on your leg and light up a fag in your face...

LondonStill83 Mon 07-Dec-15 12:08:41


I would have moved had they not when I asked them to. It just felt odd as we were obviously nicely ensconced and mid-lunch when they arrived.

MontyYouTerribleCunt Mon 07-Dec-15 12:13:04

Yanbu that sounds very weird of her (though not worth thinking about too much).

SevenOfNineTrue Mon 07-Dec-15 12:20:43

YANBU. Good for you for asking them to move, some people have no manners.

FadedRed Mon 07-Dec-15 12:22:43

I would suspect that this is the regular spot for smokers Tbh, and that the other couple just assumed that you were eating before you had your cigarette, so would not be objecting to their smoking, iyswim. Sitting out of doors in December IME is more likely to be done by people wanting a cigarette as the non smokers are more likely to choose the interior of a nice warm cafe.
Just a thought.

DoreenLethal Mon 07-Dec-15 12:38:26

Sitting out of doors in December IME is more likely to be done by people wanting a cigarette as the non smokers are more likely to choose the interior of a nice warm cafe.

Incorrect. Some of us non smokers are outside every day of the year, come rain or shine.

It was balmy this weekend - and there was a local market on. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to assume that people will be outdoors on a nice weekend.

KakiFruit Mon 07-Dec-15 12:39:39

I was in a completely empty cinema once - just me and my mum - and a couple came in and sat 1 seat away from us. Wtf? Like when you park in a nearly empty car park and some fucker takes the space next to you.

It must be some kind of herding instinct...

I can excuse the sitting-too-close because not everybody thinks it's a bad thing. But EVERYONE knows that you don't light up a cigarette next to an eating non-smoker. So she was rude and YWNBU.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Mon 07-Dec-15 12:43:03

YWNBU - I have never understood why people do this. Not the smoking, that's an automatic social fail, lighting up next to people eating; but the "miles and miles of empty space and they come and sit right next to me" - WHY???

Too weird.

7Coffees Mon 07-Dec-15 12:44:17

Yanbu! I was on a literally deserted beach (oz) last week ....laid out towels etc and the doc began to play....some wan then arrives and sits about six feet away! Will anyone here admit to this sort of behaviour?

SoWhite Mon 07-Dec-15 12:47:13

I'd have just moved - you were the one with the problem.

Shock horror, people are allowed to sit and smoke outside.

Daisysbear Mon 07-Dec-15 12:52:02

YANBU. Regardless of whether or not you're 'allowed' smoke outside, it's still rude and inconsiderate to plonk yourself beside people who are eating and light up when there's plenty of other space available.

I'm 'allowed' spray perfume all over myself outside. Would I do it right beside other people so that my perfume was going all over them as well? No, of course I wouldn't.

LaLyra Mon 07-Dec-15 12:52:34

Even if she/they assumed the OP and her partner were smokers because they were sat outside in December surely it's still rude to sit next to people who were eating, had no lit cigarettes and start to smoke? Even most smokers I know don't smoke over their food.

WeAllHaveWings Mon 07-Dec-15 12:59:03

YANBU asking them to move - very inconsiderate to sit so close to someone else and disrupt what they are doing when they were there first and there is plenty of room for everyone.

There are a certain types of selfish and self absorbed people who think this is acceptable and they should be politely called on it as they obviously weren't taught consideration for others successfully as a child.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Mon 07-Dec-15 13:05:54

In your situation, I would have moved round to the other side of DH.

It was inconsiderate of them to sit so close, that is true, but I would still have moved before asking them to do so.

YABU to use the phrase "grabbed some food" however. I suppose it could have been worse, at least you didn't "grab a bite to eat". <teeth itching for the rest of the lunch hour> fgrin

Daisysbear Mon 07-Dec-15 13:07:37

I see we don't just have the 'grammar police' to contend with anymore sad

Muskey Mon 07-Dec-15 13:08:35

I was outside Tate modern eating my sandwiches and two women did exactly the same thing. Loads of empty benches. I don't smoke and couldn't understand why someone would do that. Although I've never thought people assume that you do smoke because you are sitting outside in the winter

LondonHuffyPuffy Mon 07-Dec-15 13:14:30

YANBU. I'm a smoker and I always sit or stand as far away from other people as I can unless they are smoking. I would never assume that someone sitting outside is a smoker nor would I spark up near someone who is eating, that's just plain rude and inconsiderate.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Mon 07-Dec-15 13:15:13

I assume you mean me Daisy. No need for a sad face. Indeed, I am not the grammar police - I don't care where you put your apostrophes or how many full stops you use.

"Grabbing" food gives a mental image of someone snatching something & running away with it. I'm not saying it's grammatically incorrect! Similarly "a bite to eat" gives a mental image of someone having just the one bite of something. It's a perfectly acceptable thing to say I'm sure.

Sometimes I come on here to say things and see Worra beat me to it...

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