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The lodger keeps changing the fairy lights setting on my Xmas tree...

(121 Posts)
BassAce Sun 06-Dec-15 20:18:02

I've had my Xmas tree up since the last weekend in November, at the request of my two DS's (5 and 3). Also at their request the fairy lights on said tree are set to 'twinkling' mode.

I also have a temporary lodger. In so many ways he's a lovely man, and a very welcome bit of adult company in the house since my ex-H left us two Christmases ago....
HOWEVER. Every single time I leave him alone in the house (or go up to bed before him of an evening), he takes it upon himself to switch the fairy lights off twinkling to just being plain on all the time. Fair enough, maybe he hates the flashing (he's not epileptic, i did check!) and when hes alone in the house he should be able to do whatever he likes. BUT he never cycles through the twelve settings on the lights to put them back how I want them for when I return.

It's such a stupid thing, but it's really beginning to give me the rage every morning having to set the lights back to how my children want them on MY tree in MY house. Surely he could just switch them off at the plug if he doesn't want to see them twinkling?! I don't want to fall out with him, but my current level of rage over this tiny stupid thing makes me feel like I can't even speak to him about it right now. And leaving a note asking him not to touch them seems daft. AIBU?! Do I just need to grow up and get over it? I fear I'm just a little unused to sharing my house space with other people and im being a mardy Christmas grouch. So Mumsnet jury... would this annoy you too or am I a dick?! <assumes the duck and cover position to await verdict> grin

Lelania Sun 06-Dec-15 20:19:46

Have you tried asking him not to?

madwomanbackintheattic Sun 06-Dec-15 20:21:08

Do you set them to 'not flashing' mode when you leave the house, for him? Knowing that he prefers them that way?
If so, absolutely, yes, he should return the favour. fgrin

<otherwise, lol, no, just switch them to twinkling when you get in and accept that you are harbouring some unconscious rage at needing a lodger to pay the bills which is transferring to irritation at lack of privacy and invasion of your space. Really>

parrotonmyshoulder Sun 06-Dec-15 20:21:24

Oh dear. I REALLY hate the twinkling and struggle to be in a room with them twinkling. But I guess your lodger shouldn't fiddle. Could you just say 'can you make sure you put the lights back to twinkling,'?

Justbatteringon Sun 06-Dec-15 20:21:45

I couldn't cope with twinkling lights and im not epileptic.
I would juse ask him to turn them off instead of changing the setting because the kids want it that way and it's pain to change.
It probably doesn't even occur to him that it's causing such a hassle for you.

Twooter Sun 06-Dec-15 20:23:56

Just switch the lights off when you go out?

Aspergallus Sun 06-Dec-15 20:36:15

Twinkling lights. Nightmare.

Playthebrassbandinstrument Sun 06-Dec-15 20:37:29

It's his home too

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Sun 06-Dec-15 20:38:08

Just unplug them yourself whenever you leave the house.

Artandco Sun 06-Dec-15 20:38:16

I would hate them twinkling! So distracting

cuntycowfacemonkey Sun 06-Dec-15 20:38:27

twinkling lights would drive me batshit

Bearbehind Sun 06-Dec-15 20:39:33

Twinkling lights are beyond irritating - it's just too energetic- christmas lights should be calming not annoying,

FixItUpChappie Sun 06-Dec-15 20:40:48

Your right OP it's "Such a stupid thing". How can you possibly have the energy to get wound up about something so trivial?

Perhaps your not cut out to have a lodger...he does pay to live there. It is his current home too.

RubbleBubble00 Sun 06-Dec-15 20:41:35

Twinkling would drive me batty if I were trying to watch tv in same room

londonrach Sun 06-Dec-15 20:41:53

Yabu re the twinkling lights. Either fade gently in and out or better still on all the timr. Twinkling looks like the tree is having a fit and is really disturbing.

ShamefulPlaceMarker Sun 06-Dec-15 20:42:13

Is he lodging there for free?

evelynj Sun 06-Dec-15 20:43:08

I hate the twinkling. I think you should be grateful that he puts up with it in his home to please you tbh. It sounds like you expect him to be grateful for everything but he's paying you rent right? My lights are twinkly as default so I have to press the button 7 times on each set every time I turn them on. I could find many other things to rage about.

SisterMoonshine Sun 06-Dec-15 20:43:19

I was also going to ask if you too reset them to not twinkling when you/your DC have finished being around the tree.

But also, is he leaving them on overnigt? If not, and he is simply putting them off, could it be that they are going back to not twinkling as the default setting - and you'd have to go through the menu to get it back to twinkling whenever they go off anyway.

Cressandra Sun 06-Dec-15 20:45:19

Swallow your apoplectic rage and ask him casually if he could just switch them off at the plug next time please, to avoid you having to cycle through 12 different settings every day. He probably has no clue about the 12 settings.

(Yes you are being mardy about it, but it's important to you, so do something about it. Don't waste your energy on impotent rage when it's so easily fixable.)

Palomb Sun 06-Dec-15 20:46:57

This reminds me of the 1st Great Plug-in War that DMIL and I waged when DH and I lived there.

She likes air Fresheners but I don't. It's was PA silent squabble ahoy.

No-one likes my twinkling lights.

Cressandra Sun 06-Dec-15 20:47:02

Or better still, ask him why he dislikes the twinkling. It might give him migraines.

NeedsAsockamnesty Sun 06-Dec-15 20:47:53

If I had twinkling lights I would be more concerned about anybody in my house murdering me in my bed because of them than changing the setting

Palomb Sun 06-Dec-15 20:48:08

I done know where that my came from. I wouldn't have twinkling lights and I'd turn anyone else's off too.


clareash99 Sun 06-Dec-15 20:50:55

another here who can't stand being in thee same room as twinkling lights!

Poor lodger, have some mercy!

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g Sun 06-Dec-15 20:53:55

Isn't it a fire hazard to have them on all the time? I certainly wouldn't leave fairy lights on if I wasn't in the house, or overnight.

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