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Teen party

(11 Posts)
Sallyhasleftthebuilding Sun 06-Dec-15 10:33:11

DD birthday us comming up and wants a big party 40 kids in a local nightclub that does early parties for teens. Nice place, do food, disco, no alcohol. Quite expensive.
However last night DD was invited to her friends leaving party, local centre with disco, party props, food etc.
I was asked to stay amd help the mom, no other parents even came in the building, left any details, or offered to help.
The kids were wild, throwing food, props, running in and out of the building, round the building.
Friends mom was trying to heard sheep, and I told them its either in or home, their choice.
They were either in the toilets, or in the store room, turning lights off, showing off. Not much dancing, and hardly any food ate. Music too loud to chat. Leaving girls mom shouted at her DD about her behaviour, and her DD has moaned it was the worst party ever. Very ungrateful!!
DD has complained to me that her friends were upset with me for telling them to come inside, and stop throwing things. I over heard her facetime chats last night. She is now embarressed because I was there,
I feel angry that I was put in that situation, annoyed at their behaviour and disapppinted that DD is annoyed with me!! And ungrateful!
If I hadnt stayed I would be none the wiser and her party would go ahead.
Having witnessed this I feel this type of party is totally unsuitable. AIBU to cancel this party and just have a few friends to something. Has anyone had a good experience of these parties? Shes 12/13

ReginaBlitz Sun 06-Dec-15 11:52:15

Cancel it! I assumed you were going to say she was 15/16 she is acting like a brat at 12 years old no way would I be doing that.

specialsubject Sun 06-Dec-15 11:54:30

sounds like your kid would have joined in the destruction if you hadn't been there, and doesn't see any of it as wrong.

time to sort this attitude out. It starts with cancelling her party. Behave like a toddler, get treated like one.

she's in the ungrateful brat club and you need to get her to leave.

KeepOnMoving1 Sun 06-Dec-15 11:59:44

She's 12? I wouldn't think twice about cancelling it. Firstly it seems like they weren't interested in the type of party so laying down the expense and effort would be a waste. And then your dd's bad attitude towards you! So you know this group already doesn't like you do you want to deal with them? And her comments over FaceTime were just so awful. You can arrange something much smaller.

AdjustableWench Sun 06-Dec-15 13:25:36

I think 40 kids would be too many unless there are lots of adults to help supervise. My 16 year-old had a party with 30 of her friends in my house last month and it was pretty wild at times but no food throwing thank goodness. Her dad and I were there keeping an eye on things, and we're both very large people so not too easy to defy - an occasional raised eyebrow kept things reasonably under control. I think it would be harder with a large group of 12 year-olds - I wouldn't even consider it. I'd take a group of about 10 kids laser questing or something instead at that age.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Sun 06-Dec-15 15:07:28

She has said this morning that she `she didnt do anything` which true as far as the party went, but I think that is more because i was there. I feel disappointed that she choses to hang round with these hyped up show off/drama type kids - I thought she`d chose more sensible kids. I am also annoyed that she felt it was boring lame. I noticed that not one of the kids said thank you or helped tidy up... ITS A NO FROM ME! Think she`ll be lucky to get any type on celerbration.

Lightbulbon Sun 06-Dec-15 15:14:45

Take her and a few friends bowling/laser quest/cinema/pizza etc.

cancel, it's too young for that type of party, they are at such an in between age, wanting to be all cool and grown up but still wanting to tear around being silly. I would go for a few tamer friends for pizza / cinema /sleepover type thing and save the disco stuff for 15 / 16.

Katedotness1963 Sun 06-Dec-15 16:33:53

That sounds like a nightmare! If you haven't booked yours I'd definitely be rethinking it.

titchy Sun 06-Dec-15 16:38:40

A nightclub party sounds totally unsuitable for 12/13 year olds in the first place. They're more for sixth form age.

scarlets Sun 06-Dec-15 16:49:56

I agree with pp who said that they crave more "grownup" parties at 12/13, but aren't quite mature enough for them. We started having disco type parties at 14/15 when they (and by "they", I mean "boys" in fairness!) had gone past the racing-around-like-nutters stage and were happy to dance, chat, eat.

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