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AIBU?

To tell someone about this 11yo girl's YouTube videos?

249 replies

ScottishGlen · 05/12/2015 23:21

My dd(11-yr6) told me today about a classmate of hers who puts videos on YouTube including showing off her gymnastics skills in her bedroom. Dd wasn't remotely concerned- just told me about the gymnastic because she is interested. I felt a bit uncomfortable about it so searched using the girl's name and surname on YouTube this evening. A whole series of videos from the girl's bedroom came up. All about gymnastics, school, dancing etc. Generally pretty innocent stuff.
However in one of them she is wearing only her swimming costume and bending, stretching and doing the splits right in front of the camera. In another clip she is proudly showing off a pen she won at school, complete with school name and logo. I feel worried that her clips can be accessed by anyone, have her bending and stretching without much on, have her full name on and her school.
What should I do? I only know mum by sight ( and she has a reputation for being a bit fierce) so I don't think I'd be comfortable talking to her. Talk to the girl's class teacher maybe? (She and dd are in the same class) Do nothing and keep my nose out?
I'm also in a dilemma about my DD. She clearly sees no problem with this girl prancing around on YouTube with very little on which worries me. If she knows I have "interfered" by telling someone about these clips she will be mortified and probably less likely to talk to me about things in the future.
Sorry for the long post. Advice appreciated please wise Mumsnetters.

OP posts:

Report

DeriArms · 05/12/2015 23:24

I think it's a good idea about speaking to the teacher or perhaps the school's pastoral/family worker - they would be very well placed to have a chat with the girl's mum to highlight any concerns around it.

AnyFucker · 05/12/2015 23:28

speak to school

Katiekatiekatiekay · 05/12/2015 23:31

I don't think the mum, whatever she's like would react very well to you telling her her dd is oversharing on social media. Perhaps find out if mum knows about it, 'oh dd mentioned your dd's YouTube channel & we had a look together, what a star' or something & gauge how much she knows. It's up to her to teach her dd those boundaries? She should have learnt about it in school already, my 6 yr old has!

JohnCusacksWife · 05/12/2015 23:32

If you're that concerned I think you need to raise it with her parents - not the school.

KoalaDownUnder · 05/12/2015 23:35

I don't have any advice as to how to go about it, I'm afraid, but I think you are right to say something.

WorraLiberty · 05/12/2015 23:36

Raise it with the school if you're concerned - not the parents.

That way the CP officer can look at the videos and decide what (if anything) to do.

The school will keep your name out of it.

MsJamieFraser · 05/12/2015 23:38

wearing the swimming costume is a non issue, thats what gymnasts wear.

uniform I would report to the school.

steppemum · 05/12/2015 23:38

I would speak to the school. Both my dcs schools would pick up on this and remind the child about over sharing personal details, eg school name.
The gym stuff is harder as they are obviously oblivious to why it isn't sensible, but school would possibly get her to think about it, or possibly contact mum.

As to your dd, well, my kids know I am much stricter about certain stuff than their peers. ON one or two occasions I have even said - I am sad their parents let them do that as I don't think it is a good idea (eg 10 year old on GTA games) I would explain to my dd why I think these videos aren't a good idea, in a chatty sort of way, so she gets it, without feeling you are telling her off. Maybe ask he if she would make videos like that?
I wouldn't tell dd it was you who spoke to the school, and ask school to keep your name and dds out of it too.

ILiveAtTheBeach · 05/12/2015 23:43

Oh blimey, just leave it alone. She's not posted anything that wouldn't be seen at one of the gymnastic competitions (where the school name is quoted), so what's the difference.

JohnCusacksWife · 05/12/2015 23:44

is she being inappropriate in the videos? Or is it a kid tumbling their wilkies and doing handstands in a leotard? If it's the latter I'm not sure why you feel the need to report to anyone?

BeezerBubble · 05/12/2015 23:47

Flag the video on YouTube stating your concerns. Need to be 13+ to have account. They will suspend flagged content that don't adhere to guidelines. YouTube have parent resources that might be helpful.

Fairenuff · 05/12/2015 23:49

Give the school the web page details and let them deal with it.

OnlyLovers · 05/12/2015 23:50

I'm with John. There's inappropriate behaviour and then there's doing gymnastics in the attire gymnasts wear. I'd be very sure of which it was before I reported it to anyone.

slkk · 05/12/2015 23:52

I would be concerned if my pupils were on YouTube with anything identifying such as school name and would follow it up if reported to me by another parent.

AnyFucker · 05/12/2015 23:56

It's not op's responsibility to decide whether these videos are OK or not

They have twanged her radar so her only responsibility is to let someone know whose responsibility it is to police such material

I would be speaking to school and also CEOPS

ScottishGlen · 06/12/2015 00:04

Thanks for your thoughts everyone. The videos appear to be made completely innocently. She isn't trying to be provocative. However, lack of clothing and splits, strutting in front of camera have made me uncomfortable. I wouldn't want my DD to be making and sharing any clips on YouTube at 11yo, let alone ones that share her name and school. Have just shown them to dh who is a teacher. They made him feel uncomfortable too.

OP posts:

Jux · 06/12/2015 00:05

Having her full name and the school's name is definitely not right, and needs to be flagged to the school. If the mum were friendly then I'd engineer a chat with her, but as she's not, I'd talk to the class teacher.

JohnCusacksWife · 06/12/2015 00:05

CEOPS. For a kid doing gymnastics? No wonder resources are stretched to breaking point.

AnyFucker · 06/12/2015 00:08

CEOPS are very good. They will help to signpost op.

Why would you dismiss that ?

atreya · 06/12/2015 00:08

She possibly hasn't realised that the school name has been given away. I'd perhaps contact her parents about that one, unless you can report it to You tube (I'm really not sure).

As to doing gymnastics in a leotard. I'm not sure what is inappropriate about that. Many many such clips, from children that age and younger, my own child watches. There must be thousands, perhaps you could report them all...

Fairenuff · 06/12/2015 00:09

If you report to school they will speak to the parents and caution against this. They can keep your name out of it OP.

atreya · 06/12/2015 00:11

I found the weirdest thing that you actually stalked looked the girl up, due to 'concern' she was showing off her gym skills.

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JohnCusacksWife · 06/12/2015 00:12

I've no idea what you mean by "signpost op" but I think contacting ceops about a child doing gymnastics in an entirely innocent manner, in appropriate sportswear is beyond ridiculous. It's no more than you would see in any sports centre or gymnastics competition up and down the land on any given weekend. A complete over reaction. Showing her name and school is against good practice I agree but a word with her mum would flag that up. Not reporting her to the police.

atreya · 06/12/2015 00:13

CEOPS. For a kid doing gymnastics? No wonder resources are stretched to breaking point.

I'm in complete agreement. How extreme. It's completely and utterly bonkers.

AnyFucker · 06/12/2015 00:13

I don't think op is weird at all

She looked at the videos out of concern. What are you insinuating ?

If they are of no concern at all then op wouldn't be "weird" would she ?

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