To wonder if anyone has - Santa's naughty list?(35 Posts)
So, has anyone/does anyone know of anyone who has followed through with the threat of no Christmas presents over bad behaviour from their child? I haven't, but I'm just curious
If anyone ever did that to their kids I would think of them as utterly shite, nasty fuckers.
My little sister got a potato on top of her stocking once as a warning father christmas had seen her bite our oldest sister the day before ;)
awoof my mum once had a lump of coal inside a dolls house, but that's not the same as not giving presents at all.
No, never needed to, hopefully never would even consider it, and doubt very much I'd follow through on it if I did threaten it.
For e.g. - DS1 had his birthday this weekend, and there were a few instances recently of pretty bad (for him) behaviour - so I just said "I can still cancel your party, you know..." but would I have? I doubt it. The threat was enough to get him to wind his neck in though.
I have, however, forbidden him from going to anyone's house to play after he pulled a stunt on me last time he went - but he's been warned over and over again NOT to pull said stunt or he won't be allowed to play at other's houses again, so when he finally did it, I had to follow through. But only for the rest of this year.
I find the way you word things helps - so not saying you would do it, but you could do it if you really felt you had to. Which of course you could - but you probably wouldn't.
Just to clarify, I haven't done this and wouldn't! I'm just curious, especially since it's generally a bad idea to profer threats that can't be carried through
I live abroad where xmas isnt that big a deal. Kids get one gift, and it might just be sweets. My friend has 3 kids, the oldest was 11 , then 8 and 2. Oldest was behaving appallingly so when the others got gifts he got a letter saying gift was delayed and he had until New Year to buck up and get on nice list. Apparently it worked a treat. Don't think it would work in the UK though.
I do know someone who's child did a bad thing so on Christmas morning her parents took a new toy back after they gave it to her.
It was fucking awful and I get so worked up about it. In fact I will hide this thread now!
I knew of a boy who was incredibly badly behaved (grounding hadn't worked) so his parents left a bag a coal at the end of his bed and gave him his presents on boxing day. He was around twelve.
'Back in the day' Santa caught my Uncle telling his younger siblings that Santa wasn't real. He said nothing. On Christmas morning when everyone went to open their stockings, they were all delighted with what they received except my Uncle - his stocking was filled with something else (a lot less pleasant). Gramps told him later he hoped he had learnt his lesson: he should have been nicer to his brothers and sister and not tried to spoil Santa for them. It worked. By his own admission, he was being a brat.
'his stocking was filled with something else (a lot less pleasant)'
What did they fill it with?? The creepy way you've written it makes me think it was something horrific like raw meat!
Did he get the pressies in the end?
DS used to have an Advent Calendar that had doors in and I could put something behind each door. One day (he'd have been 5 or 6) he was very badly behaved so the following morning he found a picture of a very cross looking Santa instead of a small chocolate (it took me fecking ages to do it too - it was the old days of clip art and PowerPoint!). He took it very well and his behaviour improved dramatically.
I've never taken presents away though, that would just be too much!
My mum got coal in her stocking once and missed out on stocking tat but still got her main presents iykwim.
When I was a child I knew someone who didn't get Santa presents because of consistently awful behaviour. They had been warned repeatedly that it would happen and they sneered and laughed it off, insisting it wouldn't. Their behaviour improved massively as a result.
It's not something I would do but in reality I don't see any difference between this and any other sanction where there is a consequence for poor behaviour. It's not some sort of basic human right to get presents from Santa.
We have an extra present - a small cardboard box wrapped up and under the tree. It started about 4 years ago when my normally angelic oldest was being consistently awful. We only had to take it out from under the tree once and threaten to bin it and her bad behaviour stopped completely. Since then it's never been mentioned, we just quietly add it to the pile then remove it sometime before Christmas Day. We've never needed it again, but it's there for the pantomime if we need it.
We're also big believers in never threatening any consequences we wouldn't implement and there's no way I'd ever take their real presents away. Telling them they'll lose one 'random' present worked well though.
Yes my SIL to her then 2.3 year old last Christmas - he got them after lunch instead and nobody spoke to him all morning. I could cry thinking of it.
I find that utterly wrong on so many levels and am so glad I wasn't actually there as I think I would have said some very nasty things........
We never threaten with FC or about birthdays, my DC are only 5 and 7 so I think it would be so so unfair to do that to them. Whether I change my mind as they get older remains to be seen but I would hope I never do!
Although I said upthread that in theory I don't see much wrong with this (although I wouldn't do it myself) the thought of doing that to a two year old is very sad. Not to mention pointless because I've never met a two year who could fully understand the concept of long term consequences for their behaviour anyway.
My god daughter got a few wrapped potatoes in her stocking - although she found it quite amusing afterwards. (She got presents as well).
One year when I was about 9, Christmas morning I watched all the other foster kids open their presents, no pile for me. My foster carer gave me a bag after Christmas dinner, I got a pair of gloves and a laundry basket.
My birthday is ten days before Christmas and I often just got a card and told I'd be getting a joint present, I got a pair of school shoes.
I make sure my three get presents, always.
Two Christmases ago I threatened to give all of DD1's Christmas presents to DD2. DD1 was having a tough time (she went in a jealous rage that other people got put up groups in swimming and she didn't - the reaction to a girl she disliked doing well was horrifying) and her way to deal with it was to damage things by kicking or smashing them. She claimed to have no control over it, yet managed to have enough control to only ever damage her sister's things. She was also lashing out at her siblings physically at times if they tried to stop her damaging something. On their birthday in the November DD2 had a marked face and it felt wrong to me that DD1 had a normal birthday when DD2 was worried about having her new things ruined. Grounding, spending time with her, you name it we tried it.
She was 11 so knew there was no Santa and knew we had a set budget for each child. I told her each time she damaged something of her sister's I'd replace it from her Christmas budget and if that meant she ended up with nothing from us on Christmas morning that would be her own doing. It seemed to lift the red mist from her and after a lot of tears she apologised and has never deliberately damaged anything of her sister's (or her own) again (and she says it was horrible, but fair). MIL thinks I wouldn't have carried it through, but I would have. Although maybe I knew subconsciously it was a big enough threat to work? I don't know. Something had to be done and it wouldn't have been right to give her lots of new stuff when she'd been treating her sister's so disrespectfully.
To do it to a 2 year old though is horrific. They are so little. For me it was the ultimate of last resorts. If this had happened in Jan/Feb I have no idea how we'd have cracked it.
No never. It's a cruel thing to do.
My dc aren't perfect but to be unforgiving on Christmas day is just sad and spiteful imo.
I have his list and I'm getting a nice collection of sticks ready
I'm also horrified that someone would do that to a 2.3 yo - poor child!
Lalyra - I think that was a perfectly reasonable thing to do under the circumstances - certainly gave her the incentive to control her apparently "uncontrollable" rages!
Klaptout - that's really sad too
I'd never remove presents but I have cancelled the preparations one year. Appalling behaviour had been going on for days so I warned them for the final time that if they didn't stop I would take everything to do with Christmas away. They didn't stop so when they were at school I took everything down - every decoration, every card, the tree, the advent calendars, everything. They came home and immediately noticed. It did improve things and they 'earned' the calendars back after a few days and the tree after a week.
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