Advanced search

to not allow DSD, who hasn't yet passed driving test, to have 6yr old DD as a passenger

(50 Posts)
CheekyMaleekey Sat 05-Dec-15 12:28:41

DH is outraged that I won't allow DD to sit in the back, while DSD drives, with him as passenger. She's failed her test twice. He says she's a good driver.

I think it's reckless. AIBU?

MrsJayy Sat 05-Dec-15 12:31:29

But your husband would be in the car do you not trust him either ?

Schmoozer Sat 05-Dec-15 12:33:04

Unless it's dual control

leaningtoweroflego Sat 05-Dec-15 12:33:59

Of course it's reckless.

Spilose Sat 05-Dec-15 12:36:24

Failing her test doesn't necessarily make her a bad driver. I think if most drivers sat a test today, they'd fail.

However I don't think it's wise to have unnecessary passengers in the car, potentially causing a distraction, while she is still learning.

QuintShhhhhh Sat 05-Dec-15 12:37:02

Maybe she needs a better driver than your dh to practice with.

BrandNewAndImproved Sat 05-Dec-15 12:38:06

It's not reckless. When I was learning to drive after I failed two tests I was put on my nans insurance to get more practice in.

My nan would meet me from work everyday and I would drive around and then pick the dc up from school and practice a few maneuvers on the way home. I wasn't a leaner driver that had never been on the road before I had had plenty of lessons and two tests.

It's not against the law, I wouldn't say it's particularly dangerous with your dh in the car and it'll be more safe now then once she's passed.

schokolade Sat 05-Dec-15 12:38:52

I think YABU. Unless you have seen her driving and think it's reckless? Maybe go for a drive with her yourself. What did she fail on? Tiny things or dangerous things?

VimFuego101 Sat 05-Dec-15 12:39:02

I wouldn't - not necessarily as a reflection of her driving skills, but children can be distracting.

VelvetSpoon Sat 05-Dec-15 12:39:36

Your DH is there though.

Would you let your DSD drive your DD unaccompanied if she'd passed her test?

Clearly if she's taken 2 tests she has reached a certain level of driving skill and knowledge. The best way for her to pass her next test is to get lots of practice, and to normalise driving - having her sister in the back may well help with this.

I've not passed my test (yet), but I know the basics of driving and have driven my DC a number of times (with a qualified driver in the front with me).

MrsJayy Sat 05-Dec-15 12:40:49

Yeah what spilose said really, i was a good driver i could drive with dh for hours cant pass a bloody test i go to mush i used to drive with dh and 2 kids in the car

schokolade Sat 05-Dec-15 12:41:49

Also, why does DD need to be in the car? Are they, fir example, driving her to school?

TheCraicDealer Sat 05-Dec-15 12:54:10

I agree with Velvet. She's obviously at a test-ready level even if she hasn't managed to get the actual pass. The tests nowadays are bloody tough. So long as it's just general confidence building, getting additional driving hours under her belt, travelling familiar routes and maybe the odd manoeuvre then I think you're BU.

It took me six goes to get my test- I was perfectly fine driving with any amount of passengers but once that examiner got into the car I went to mush. Six year later I'm the only person in the family (including partner) who has a clean licence, despite driving way more miles than any of them due to my job.

CheekyMaleekey Sat 05-Dec-15 14:20:12

Thanks for your views.

No, it's not dual control. Yes, picking her up from school.

I think it's unsafe as she's very inexperienced. I'd worry too much. There's nothing DH could do if DSD does something suddenly dangerous.

MrsGentlyBenevolent Sat 05-Dec-15 14:33:32

she's very inexperienced

She can't be that inexperienced if her tutor has put her forward for a test twice. Due to reasons, I never sat my test - I once had to drive my mother home because she had become very unwell whilst we were out shopping (we had L plates on the car, but she certainly couldn't have stopped an accident). I made sure I was twice as attentive as a result. With another adult who is fully attentive, I'm sure she would be fine, nothing makes you drive carefully than having a passenger to take care of.

hampsterdam Sat 05-Dec-15 14:34:40

If she passes her next test she might still be inexperienced. How experienced does she need to be? Genuine question. Will you be happy for dsd to drive your dd once she's passed her test?
I didn't pass until my 3rd test. I was no more experienced or a better driver between failing my 2nd and passing my 3rd. I used to take ds on my lessons quite frequently in my instructors car and my friends car.

SmillasSenseOfSnow Sat 05-Dec-15 14:35:11

Why has she taken her driving test twice if she's 'very inexperienced'?

SmillasSenseOfSnow Sat 05-Dec-15 14:35:35

Oops, cross-posted.

DixieNormas Sat 05-Dec-15 14:37:46

Well I don't have a licence and wouldn't feel comfortable driving my dcs around, bit daft really as I will be driving them as soon as I passbut it's just the way I feel

AnyoneButSanta Sat 05-Dec-15 14:38:13

If she's safe enough to drive herself and your DH then she's safe enough to drive your DD who'll be safer in the back seat in a proper car seat than your DH is in the front.

ImperialBlether Sat 05-Dec-15 14:38:15

The fact is that in 99% of cases, if you fail the test it's because you're not ready to drive alone. She's failed hers twice. I don't think she should have or even want passengers until she's proven herself capable of passing the test.

ottothedog Sat 05-Dec-15 14:46:44

I wouldnt let an inexperienced driver drive my kids anyway, with or without licence, but if your dh is your dds parent, i suppose they get equal say

GabiSolis Sat 05-Dec-15 14:52:56

It's not reckless at all so YABU on that.

Whether or not I would personally allow it would come down to how well behaved DD is in a car. If she's a monster in a car like my DS, I wouldn't wish that on anyone so DSD might not want to drive her.

You shouldn't get to overrule your DH on things like this, that's the most unreasonable part of the OP. Have a discussion by all means but this is just as much his decision as yours.

Tippytappytoes Sat 05-Dec-15 15:00:57

Of course the DSD is a inexperienced driver. That's why the premiums on recently passed drivers are set so high as they are more likely to have accidents!

I wouldn't. Actually I am pretty sure that it isn't allowed (or at least it is seriously discouraged) to have passengers as a learner (obviously apart from the accompanying driver.)

I agree that she is inexperienced, IMO you only really learn to "drive" after you pass the test, and can drive alone. That is when you gain the experience and confidence needed to be a safe driver.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: