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Teenage curfew

(34 Posts)
Sadmother Sat 05-Dec-15 07:07:32

Having a slight disagreement with OH. What do you think is a reasonable curfew for a 16 year old boy?

BoomBoomsCousin Sat 05-Dec-15 07:21:32

Depends what he's like. Why does he need a curfew?

BertrandRussell Sat 05-Dec-15 07:24:05

None. By 16 it needs to be on a case by case basis. And negotiated. Well, I think it should be that at any age, actually. It's no use saying "be in by 9.00" if the film or gig or whatever doesn't finish til 10. And it's no use saying "be in by 11" if they have two exams the next day.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 05-Dec-15 07:36:12

We let ds3 stay out to finish what he's doing. If he's at power league til late, as long as he phones and let's us know it's not a problem.

He's been to a lot of parties recently and he's been home by midnight, usually a lift home.

Sadmother Sat 05-Dec-15 07:37:04

I think you answered my question boomboom, 16 year olds don't really have a curfew do they?

Sadmother Sat 05-Dec-15 07:38:34

Although, I will clarify, I don't mean 10pm. But is coming in at 3am acceptable?

londonrach Sat 05-Dec-15 07:40:17

Depends on the child. My dsis and i never had a curfew, just had to inform parents where we were. Is he sensible?

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 05-Dec-15 07:41:59

I wouldn't be happy at 3 am.

Fuck that, is your lad staying out til then.

Sirzy Sat 05-Dec-15 07:43:05

Unless it is from a specific event, and pre arranged then no I wouldn't say 3am is acceptable.

Where was he until that time?

Mistigri Sat 05-Dec-15 07:47:05

I think it depends on how often it happens, why, and whether he's capable of coming in at 3am without waking the rest of the house ...

OfficeGirl1969 Sat 05-Dec-15 07:47:15

I second BertrandRussel - there wasn't a blanket curfew time for my three - it was always dependant on day of the week/what the event was/what needed to be done the following day. I actually think it gave then a better understanding to say "tonight it's better for you to be home by ten because you've got xxx tomorrow, but next Friday you could stay out as late as you like" than just a general "you must be home at ten regardless"

Sadmother Sat 05-Dec-15 07:48:33

Friend's houses mainly. If it was a gig or something I wouldn't even mention it. But just hanging around...

Sadmother Sat 05-Dec-15 07:49:27

What does sensible mean Rach? He is 16 😉

Izzabellasasperella Sat 05-Dec-15 07:49:32

No 3am is not acceptable. We like dd (just turned 16)to be home home 8.30/9 on a school night. Later on a Fri /Sat but usually around 10ish.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 05-Dec-15 07:53:44

3 am isn't acceptable here.

I wouldn't let him walk/ cycle at that time and he's not getting a lift home either.

Sirzy Sat 05-Dec-15 07:54:27

How old are his friends? Must be very understanding parents if they are a similar age to him to let them hang out til 3am!

Sadmother Sat 05-Dec-15 07:54:34

I think my use of the word "curfew" is misleading. We don't have a set time regardless and certainly take into consideration what he is doing. However should he just go out without any prior agreement about what time he comes home?

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 05-Dec-15 07:56:21

In response to your last question, no, he should talk to you first about where he's going and what time he'll be home.

Sadmother Sat 05-Dec-15 07:57:36

Friends are older. At university, but still living at home

Sadmother Sat 05-Dec-15 08:01:07

Stillclassy, what if he is telling us where he is (true according to find my iPhone) but saying he wouldn't be home until 3?

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 05-Dec-15 08:11:48

I'd be unhappy about ds3 staying out til then and would insist that he was home earlier, like midnight.

What's the disagreement with your OH?

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 05-Dec-15 08:14:41

How's your relationship with your ds generally.

I'll be honest and admit I've never had 'staying out' issues with any of mine at 16, those came later at Sixth Form and beyond then booze became the problem.

BoomBoomsCousin Sat 05-Dec-15 08:14:45

Is there a problem with him coming home at 3? Are you waiting up or does he wake you? Is he unable to do the things he should the next day? is it unsafe for him to come home then?

Sadmother Sat 05-Dec-15 08:19:51

He would be 6th form. There are a lot of drugs here, (not in the UK) he works every weekend and NEVER misses a shift. (he misses so much bloody school, but never goes out in the week!)

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 05-Dec-15 08:22:56

Is there more to this than staying out to 3.00?

Do you think he's taking drugs?

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