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Aibu to think that mil didn't deserve to be talked to like this by the teacher?

(55 Posts)
Sothisishowitfeels Fri 04-Dec-15 20:53:29

I am in hospital with my 5 week old who has a chest infection she is on oxygen now and being tube fed . We only came in last night and dh had to go into work for a few hours so I needed to call mil to collect my 3 year old from nursery.

This morning dd was getting worse she needed to go onto oxygen, she was being sick and choking after the tube feeds and going for chest X-rays etc and tbh I just totally lost track of time and before I even blinked it seemed to have gone from 6am to midday.
I called mil who went to the school she was about 20 minutes late.

The head of the early years was very rude to mil ( who hadn't actually done anything wrong herself and I did explain to her on the phone

sakura06 Fri 04-Dec-15 20:57:44

So sorry to hear your baby is poorly. YANBU at all. I hope your DD gets well soon.

SantanaLopez Fri 04-Dec-15 20:58:18

I am sorry your little one is so poorly. Concentrate on that just now flowers

Sothisishowitfeels Fri 04-Dec-15 20:59:01

Sorry pressed post!
She was saying teachers have missed their lunch they only get 45 minutes and mil was getting quite upset ( she is in her mid 70s and she had just rushed around there thanks to my stupidity)

She told the teAxher about the baby being ill etc and the teachers reply was "well there's already quite a few of them isn't there? "Please make sure to have someone here on time no matter what.

I might just be sleep deprived and crazy but i feel like mil didn't deserve that and also this is not the first time that particular teacher has commented on our family size ( 6 children) so I might be reading into it where I shouldn't.

Aibu to think she should have waited to speak to me if she really wanted to say these things?

SolsburyHell Fri 04-Dec-15 21:01:50

Report to the head, that comment to your mil when you have a sick child is disgraceful. I can't imagine the staff at my child school being any less than sympathetic in those circumstances.

Dexterjamesmummy Fri 04-Dec-15 21:01:58

What was her text supposed to mean? I read that as something pretty disgusting actually! Hope your baby gets better soon, how is she doing now? x

timelytess Fri 04-Dec-15 21:02:45

flowers for mil, you, poorly little one and family. No-one needs to comment on your family size, unless to congratulate you.

ImperialBlether Fri 04-Dec-15 21:03:38

That comment about your daughter being from a big family was totally out of order and you should put in a complaint about that.

If you're always late, then it's different but if you're not, then she is being very uncaring to complain like that, especially to your MIL.

I hope your baby is well again soon.


Dexterjamesmummy Fri 04-Dec-15 21:03:42

Sorry her comment to Mil not a text, I read it wrong x

HeartShapedBox Fri 04-Dec-15 21:05:53

"there's already quite a few of them" shock

I'd be raising this with the head of the nursery, how dare she!

Hope you're baby's ok xx

HeartShapedBox Fri 04-Dec-15 21:06:47

Your blush

Wolfiefan Fri 04-Dec-15 21:06:51

WTAF does the number of children you have in your family have to do with anyone? How odd and rude for them to comment.
Yes someone should be there in time BUT with a sick little baby I can understand how this wasn't top of your priorities. (It's so hard when they are ill.)
I would have a word with the Head to say you do understand someone should have been there but your elderly MIL was doing her best and didn't deserve such treatment. Plus no future comments about how many children you have. That's unprofessional.
Get well soon little so this.

ofallthenerve Fri 04-Dec-15 21:07:10

Yanbu. What a thing to say when your baby is in hospital. flowers for you and mil. People can be utter wankers at the least appropriate of times. Please don't let her get to you, but do report her comment to the head if you can (and want to obviously).

Fizrim Fri 04-Dec-15 21:08:25

Firstly, sorry to hear your baby is ill, I hope she is improving.

Secondly, I assumed that the teacher meant there was a lot of ill babies about, not a comment on the size of your family.

As for the comment about being late for pickup - well I do think the teacher was right to speak to whoever did the pickup as it is more likely to be their fault. Who dropped her off in the morning - DH? Did he not arrange collection with his mother then? Did you ring the nursery yourself at some point or did you ring your MIL, I'm not sure about that bit.

I would focus on your poorly baby and not worry about the nursery at the moment, really. Save your energy.

Sothisishowitfeels Fri 04-Dec-15 21:09:42

I'm a bit worried about complaining just because mil is upset and I wasn't there to witness it so it's possible mil misunderstood - or embellished because she was flustered. Also my two younger children could be in her class.

None of the older children have been in her class, they are all well behaved and well liked at school it's not as though we rock up each morning and destroy the place.

I have never been late before! The children were late once I. The morning last year ( literally by 2 minutes but it's still a late!) and never other than that.

AskBasil Fri 04-Dec-15 21:11:10


You have the right to complain about this woman, she's fucking horrible.

I understand the need to impress upon carers the need not to be late, because if staff aren't really firm about it, there are people who will simply take the piss and they need to ensure that doesn't happen; but this is just shit and a nasty woman is hiding behind the nursery rules.

Sothisishowitfeels Fri 04-Dec-15 21:14:07

My baby is still the same really she is still being sick after the tube feeds so they are trying going down to 30ml every two hours now. If that doesn't work they may have to do a drip which I am dreading.

Dh dropped them off but mil is never awake at 8 and tbh at the time I was just sitting here doing nothing so I said don't wake her I'll give her a ring in an hour or so. Of course pretty much immediately after things changed really quickly and tbh I totally forgot the whole issue . I know I was totally my fault! I really just forgot the school even existed at that point

paintandbrush Fri 04-Dec-15 21:20:19

"already quite a few"- what a nasty comment!
And don't beat yourself up about it, when I was 6 my mum dropped me off at school on a staff day... someone had to drive me out to mum's work confused

Bean89 Fri 04-Dec-15 21:27:44

Sounds like a horrible cow! But for now I would move past it on concentrate on LO.
My baby has quite severe asthma (though they say they can't diagnose it officially until she's older) and is hospitalised every time she gets a chest infection, last time she had to be put on a drip and was nearly sent to intensive care to be put to sleep and on a ventilator- it's absolutely awful and terrifying but she improved immensely within 48 hours. I hope your LO recovers quickly- I'm sure you'll be home in no time flowers

Bean89 Fri 04-Dec-15 21:28:12

*cold, not chest infection

Headofthehive55 Fri 04-Dec-15 21:33:14

Hope your lo gets better soon. Have been there sat by bed with child on oxygen and feeding tube. Grim isn't it.

Let it go, the silly woman. How dare she comment. My daughters teacher berated her for not having a slip for something that particular morning, and the correct money. I'd given birth that morning at home, kids had been taken To school by neighbour, but whoops I hadn't done the slip and signed it. Funny that! Apparently giving birth wasnt an excuse!!!

cestlavielife Fri 04-Dec-15 21:34:54

I read it as quite a few babies sick. As in she was saying the sick baby was no big deal msny babies have colds at the moment etc probably not undestanding how serious baby is.

Let it go its not worth fighting over...

they will just say mil misunderstood. Maybe she did. Focus on your baby and sorting other children.

But email nursery to explain more fully the situation so they aware.

Cirsium Fri 04-Dec-15 21:36:29

I'd posted on your other thread about sick DD. Sorry to hear she is worse and hope things get better soon.

Teacher is a twat, of course things get forgotten about when you have such a tiny one ill in hospital. The number of children you have is irrelevant. You, and MIL are doing your best.

TaliZorahVasNormandy Fri 04-Dec-15 21:38:33

That's a shitty thing to say. What is she trying to say, you have plenty of kids, so it doesnt matter if one is ill. How insulting!

TaliZorahVasNormandy Fri 04-Dec-15 21:40:05

Actually I know of someone who was told by a headteacher that her DC was bullied because she had too many kids.

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