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AIBU to be annoyed with my mum for buying a chocolate advent calendar for my 22 month old?

(192 Posts)
BettyBi0 Fri 04-Dec-15 10:30:56

We've always aimed for low sugar, healthy diet yadayada with our toddler and my Mum knows this.

Anyway, she totally hyped up sending my DD (22 months) an advent calendar which finally arrived yesterday. We opened one door and it had a chocolate inside. DD thought this was the best thing ever but then refused to eat her dinner later shouting CHOCOLATE! Want it!!! Ugh are we going to have this every day of advent?

I'm a bit narked at my mum for sending it tbh as my DD is still little and chocolate is definitely not an everyday thing in our house. I know it's spread over the next 21 days but there is about 200g of Chocolate in that bloom into calendar. I'd never dream of giving her a 200g slab of choc - albeit spread out over 3 weeks.

AIBU it would you think it's fine for a not even 2 year old to expect chocolate every day?

TiggyD Fri 04-Dec-15 10:34:01

Then bin the calendar. At 22 months they probably won't notice it's gone.

coffeeisnectar Fri 04-Dec-15 10:34:38

Yabu. It's one piece of chocolate a day until Xmas day. After that you show her it's empty and say it's finished now.

Is this your first child?

Whatdoidohelp Fri 04-Dec-15 10:35:09

I wouldn't sit and let a toddler demolish a mars bar but a teeny piece of chocolate in the run up to Christmas can't hurt. Could you let your dc have the chocolate every third day or so so you and daddy get a turn too?

Yanbu if u told your mum no chocolate but it's a slippery slope. I wasn't allowed any chocolate biscuits crisps soft drinks etc my whole childhood except on special occasions. I went to uni and having free range on what I ate I put on 2 stone in the first semester. Teach your child that sweets can be a treat. Don't be too militant about it as it will bite you in the arse in the future.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Fri 04-Dec-15 10:36:48

First, dd is little.
She can't count 24 doors.
Second, you can open the top of the calendar and remove the big chocks. Either cut them up or replace them with buttons.

Third, don't mention the calendar until dinner is eaten. Not 'a reward for eaten', just something that happens after dinner.

highlighta Fri 04-Dec-15 10:39:32

I also wanted to ask if this is your first child?

At 22 months I doubt she will know what it is all about anyway. But I second what Whatdo has said. A small amount of something every now and then isnt going to harm, and forbidding something is going to cause more angst in the long run.

BarbarianMum Fri 04-Dec-15 10:40:21

<<We opened one door and it had a chocolate inside. DD thought this was the best thing ever but then refused to eat her dinner later shouting CHOCOLATE! Want it!!! Ugh are we going to have this every day of advent?>>

Children whining for sweets and biscuits is pretty normal. So is saying 'no' to them. Don't blame your mum for something that is part of parenting. Tell your dd the calendar is only for after breakfast or bin it but this is an issue you are going to have to fight unless you intend to bring her up in isolation.

Rollermum Fri 04-Dec-15 10:41:30

YANBU I would want DD having chocolate everyday either - rare treat only as she quickly starts demanding it.

I bought my DD a pictures only one which my DH thinks is hilarious 😑

Rollermum Fri 04-Dec-15 10:41:42

She's two btw.

ElderlyKoreanLady Fri 04-Dec-15 10:41:55

If you'd previously told your DM specifically that she isn't to do this then YANBU.

However, I'm very tempted to tell you to get a grip. It's a tiny treat each day. My DD is 20mo but doesn't react to chocolate like this. I don't strictly restrict any food type. If you're quite restrictive then her reaction may well be related to that.

PaulAnkaTheDog Fri 04-Dec-15 10:42:34

Oh OP...

2rebecca Fri 04-Dec-15 10:43:18

You could ask in future to have a nonchocolate advent calender. They're harder to find but it is possible. otherwise the family takes it in turns to open the doors so she only gets a third or whatever of the chocolate. I never saw this as something to be that bothered about though but do think it's sad advent calendars are now all about the chocolate not the picture..

Freezingwinter Fri 04-Dec-15 10:43:56

Of course yanbu, your child!

G1veMeStrength Fri 04-Dec-15 10:44:46

Maybe it is a Family Advent Calendar? So tonight it is Mummy's turn and tomorrow it is Daddy's turn and then when your neighbour pops round it is their turn etc. So you are still limiting her chocolate intake but not making a big deal out of it.

AnnaMarlowe Fri 04-Dec-15 10:45:35

Chocolate advent calendars aren't obligatory. We've never had them and grandparents were well warned in advance not to buy them when the kids were little.

They know that almost everyone in their class has them but don't appear to be bothered.

My objection to them isn't the chocolate by the way, I have more issues with the crass commercialisation of Advent.

ovenchips Fri 04-Dec-15 10:46:24

PaulAnkagrin

RalphSteadmansEye Fri 04-Dec-15 10:46:29

Just put it in the bin. I would (and did). If you want to replace it with a picture one, you'll probably find one reduced now in Waterstones, Smiths or similar.

Jibberjabberjooo Fri 04-Dec-15 10:48:22

My DM has bought my two dc advent calendars, my youngest is 16 months. He's had a few milky buttons but no other chocolate so far. He's a bit young but he wasn't overly fussed about it anyway.

Eat it for her if you're that bothered, but you are being a bit over dramatic. It's just an advent calendar.

BettyBi0 Fri 04-Dec-15 10:48:23

We aren't super strict wth food but I'm trying to keep things balanced and not make a massive deal out of treats. My mum had eating disorders all her life and there was a massive emphasis on binging and feeding, treats, forbidden things etc throughout my childhood. She is now massively overweight after yoyoing after starving/binging for years. So I've made a really conscious effort with my own daughter to try and be more sensible and have a healthy/moderation approach. I've definitely not banned stuff like chocolate and icecream but I've not made a massive deal of them either. So I'd get just as excited about us all sharing a pineapple as I would a cake if that makes any sense.

I'm liking the taking it in turns idea

foxessocks Fri 04-Dec-15 10:48:54

My dd is also 22 months old and she got 3 advent calenders! One from mil, one from fil (they're divorced) and one from my mum and dad. I haven't told any of them that they aren't the only person to get her one, I've just thanked them all and when asked I've said she is enjoying the chocolate. In reality, two are hidden and we've been eating them and the other one is up in the living room and dd can have her one a day when dh gets in from work. It seems to be working ok. I caught her trying to sneak another one out yesterday but after a stern word she got over it! I think it's quite a good lesson just one small piece a day and then it's gone.

Francescal88 Fri 04-Dec-15 10:50:43

Aww there are a lot of stingy mean mums on here! Being a kid is all about sweets and chocolate isn't it?! Granted I wouldn't want my DS to get into the habit of eating too much of it, but he has a small amount 3-4 days a week. A tiny chocolate once a day in the few weeks before Christmas is not the end of the world.
YABU op!

WorraLiberty Fri 04-Dec-15 10:52:38

Your second post totally contradicts your first.

You're trying to keep things balanced and not make a massive deal out of treats?

You want a more sensible, healthy moderate approach?

Then stop stressing over a few tiny bits of chocolate that your toddler will probably completely forget about by this time next week.

Just chill, seriously.

highlighta Fri 04-Dec-15 10:52:53

But OP you are making a big deal of this. You admitted that you are upset with your mother about it.

Its an advent calender and she is 2. What is going to happen when she is older and gets invited to birthday parties etc.

wannaBe Fri 04-Dec-15 10:53:08

I will never understand how people can get quite so worked up about such insignificant things as a chocolate advent calendar.

We're talking about a tiny piece of chocolate here. Not a bar, not even the equivalent of a square. And believe me, in a year's time the same child will be attending birthday parties and sitting at tables laiden with crisps/biscuits/cakes with enough colouring in them to paint the rainbow.

If she's refusing to eat her dinner then make the advent door the treat at the end of dinner. But really, a teeny piece of chocolate, even every day for 24 days, is not going to do her any harm. And I've just looked, my ds' cadbury's advent calendar is 140G spread over 24 days that's around 5G of chocolate a day.... It's chocolate, not drugs.

TiggyD Fri 04-Dec-15 10:53:32

Or go through all the doors removing the chocolates and replace them with notes containing sound advice.

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