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To have laughed at being told to have sex 3 times weekly for 18 weeks?

(113 Posts)
Youcantscaremeihavechildren Thu 03-Dec-15 22:50:13

Firstly apologies for tmi

DH is having the snip next week.

Told today he must ejaculate 3 times a week for 18 weeks afterwards.

Hes not partial to polishing the purple helmet (at least that's what he says, odd I know but he just isn't)

We've been together 12 years, got an 8 month old (lying on me, teething) who sleeps in with us and is currently giving us approx 2-3 hrs sleep at a time if we're lucky, a 5 yr old who gets up at 6 am. He's out of the house for over 12 hrs a day and I'm going back to work soon.
we're both shattered and whilst we'll, erm, give it our best shot, we did laugh.

I mean that's 54 times...that might take us nearly a year in normal circumstances, and that includes birthdays, anniversaries and xmas day grin

So AIBU to think know they have very high expectations of people who've probably got several children already, given that is the reason for most men having the snip? He wasn't coerced at all no not a bit

LineyReborn Thu 03-Dec-15 22:53:01

Who told you this?

Oysterbabe Thu 03-Dec-15 22:53:30

Yabu. I think most men probably manage 3 times a week on their own even when they don't have to.

landrover Thu 03-Dec-15 22:54:09

Ehmmm, I would tell him to get on with it on his own! :-)

foxessocks Thu 03-Dec-15 22:54:11

Wow I never knew they have to do that! Well yanbu, I sort of know how you feel for different reasons as we're ttc number 2 and we have a nearly 2 year old and trying to have sex every other day is near on impossible! I do not know how people have second babies!

Anyway good luck with that - have fun!!

SummerHouse Thu 03-Dec-15 22:54:20

Were you there when this three times a week yoke was raised? Sounds very suspicious to me. Magnified ten fold when accompanied with the "I don't like wanking" line. grin

LineyReborn Thu 03-Dec-15 22:54:45

Your thread title says sex but your post says ejaculate.

He'll just have to ejaculate.

landrover Thu 03-Dec-15 22:54:45


BathtimeFunkster Thu 03-Dec-15 22:54:51

Xmas day is a sex day??! shock

[misses point of thread]

LineyReborn Thu 03-Dec-15 22:56:21

Bloody hell I don't even see my OH on Xmas day!

SummerHouse Thu 03-Dec-15 22:56:33

Xmas day is so NOT a sex day.

[Joins thread miss with enthusiasm]

OddSocksHighHeels Thu 03-Dec-15 22:56:40

But you don't need to have sex, he just needs to ehaculate. He can do that himself even if he does find wanking a chore.

skankingpiglet Thu 03-Dec-15 22:57:55

Wow, at the rate we're doing it at the moment, that's four YEARS worth! I think it might be wise to treat him to a tube of something slippery and a box of man-sized tissues. He's just going to have to take one for the team and embrace self-love! grin
YANBU for laughing...

AnotherEmma Thu 03-Dec-15 22:59:41

"Polishing the purple helmet"?! grin Not heard that one before!

I find it hard to believe they told him this, were you there or is he just reporting back?!

I think he is going to have to do some polishing by himself I'm afraid. Needs must an' all.

LaContessaDiPlump Thu 03-Dec-15 22:59:46

shock seriously op, DH had the snip 2 years ago and we have done it nowhere NEAR that much, yet he has had the all-clear.

I'm grateful we didn't have your DH's doctor tbh grin

AnotherEmma Thu 03-Dec-15 23:00:17

PS Get him some porn for Christmas?!

Youcantscaremeihavechildren Thu 03-Dec-15 23:00:17

Hmm...I may have to check out this was his pre op phone discussion with the nurse. I'd have loved to have been a fly on the wall, DH is very private and a bit uptight catholic actually I do remember reading something in the literature about 50 being some magic number. Who knew?

I really don't think he does sort himself out very often. It is odd.

We'll just have to get on with it then ^rolls up sleeves^

Dogsmom Thu 03-Dec-15 23:00:26

My dh had the snip in May when dd2 was 12 weeks old, the doctor who performed it said he had to have "lots of sex" until his sample was due in September.
I told him he had a hand.

We did have sex once but the rest was all him and the sample did come back negative.

He reckons it looks different now, more watery and less of it.

AnotherEmma Thu 03-Dec-15 23:01:00

Ah, Catholic. Maybe he was taught that masterbation is a sin?

PegsPigs Thu 03-Dec-15 23:02:07

DH had it a few weeks ago. I call it his tallywank. He's going to get to his 'target" by himself as DD 2 is 6 months old and not sleeping through. Sod having sex 3 times a week. I think we've managed that in the last year grin

Youcantscaremeihavechildren Thu 03-Dec-15 23:02:32

Xmas day definitely is if you didn't get round buying him a present! or he had to spend the day with my family

Headmelt Thu 03-Dec-15 23:03:36

Have sex as often as you please but use condoms until his two samples show snip was successful otherwise you might have more to worry about. I remember a thread on mn a while back when op had a pregnancy scare because they got carried away, never used condoms and her period was late. She never did come back to update

Youcantscaremeihavechildren Thu 03-Dec-15 23:03:59

Tallywank grin love it.. actually dd does love making a sticker chart...

songbird Thu 03-Dec-15 23:05:48

Ah pegs, you've made my day with 'tallywank'!

skankingpiglet Thu 03-Dec-15 23:06:39

grin Your DD doing a sticker chart, well I suppose it is family planning...

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