To think schadenfreude is actually quite a detrimental emotion/feeling?

[InTheBox]

I've recently got back in touch with a few friends from the past. All well and good but one of them told me that a previous boyfriend I'd had that was incredibly horrendous to me (at the time) has faced quite some misfortune in life.

I recall once thinking that I'd happily dance on his grave but life just went on. Following this new information that things aren't going as swimmingly for him actually has made me feel quite sorry for him. I don't and haven't taken pleasure in his misfortune.

Am I odd? Friend thought this would be just the thing I needed to hear but no, not really

[Pepperpot123]

No you're a nice person. I too have heard news about a woman I used to work with who was foul to me am I happy? No. I see myself in her shoes and think I would be broken and so upset so her feeling that way makes me feel sorry for her. You sound empathic and that's a good thing x

[Shirkingfromhome]

It depends, my mum had a horrendous boyfriend who bought nothing but misery to her (along with some serious dv related incidents). I wouldn't necessarily be happy to hear of his misfortune but I certainly wouldn't feel any empathy for him.

On the other hand, I've had a friendship where the other person had a real malevolent streak and I feel nothing but pity for her.

[LurkingHusband]

I don't and haven't taken pleasure in his misfortune.

So it's not Schadenfreude, is it ?

[kickassangel]

There have been times when something similar happened, and I have felt some satisfaction that I was right, and even been pleased that it's clear I had the right opinion of someone. That hasn't made me happy that misfortune befell them, but more relieved that my judgement of character was spot on.

However, I do sometimes get annoyed if there's a person that I think wasn't very nice etc who seems to have nothing but good fortune. It makes me wonder if I missed something about them, or if they're conning everyone into getting promotions, going out with them etc.

I want life to be like in movies - good people have good things happen to them, bad people end up being miserable. Sadly, it isn't so.

[Tiggeryoubastard]

Totally depends on the circumstances. Aren't you supposed to be happy about karma? If you are then that's schadenfreude.

[cailindana]

YANBU. Dwelling on other people's fortune and misfortune is a complete waste of energy. If you spend a lot of your energy contemplating the lives of other people then you're neglecting yourself and that's never good.

[BMW6]

Sometimes you would have to have a heart of stone not to laugh though......

[Atenco]

I think it is like revenge. I used to love thinking up revenge but would never dream of taking it. When bad things happen to people I don't like, I realise that I didn't dislike them as much as that.

[ShebaShimmyShake]

Schadenfreude - making the world a better place to be!