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AIBU to expect a Thankyou for a gift?

(80 Posts)
PeppasNanna Thu 03-Dec-15 14:00:33

Do you expect to be thanked when you send friends or family gifts for birthdays or Christmas?

lardyscouse Thu 03-Dec-15 14:07:10

No. But its nice if it happens.

SauvignonBlanche Thu 03-Dec-15 14:08:55


frustratedashell Thu 03-Dec-15 14:14:23

Yes, it's basic manners! My parents made me write thank you letters within a week or so of receiving gifts. I did the same with my kids. I realise this is probably seen as old fashioned now, which is a shame

KondosSecretJunkRoom Thu 03-Dec-15 14:16:59


molyholy Thu 03-Dec-15 14:19:01

I don't and I wouldn't expect my daughter to sit there writing thank you notes out for every gift she has received either. If applicable we will say thanks to peoples faces, or if somebody sent something I would send a text to say thanks, but I don't care whether I receive one of anybody. The giving is enough for me. i don't expect gratitude for it.

This is an age old question on MN though and there will be lots of differing replies.

YakTriangle Thu 03-Dec-15 14:26:16

I think it's basic manners to thank people as I was raised to always thank people, but it seems to happen less and less frequently so I no longer expect it.

Scholes34 Thu 03-Dec-15 14:27:13

I'm disappointed when I don't receive a thank you and highly delighted that my DC (teenagers) think it's just the done thing to write thank yous and do so without grumbling.

tillytown Thu 03-Dec-15 14:29:37


redexpat Thu 03-Dec-15 14:45:13

I expect a thanks but not fussed if it is by text, email, phone, letter.

PeppasNanna Thu 03-Dec-15 14:57:33

So aibu to expect a text to say thanks?!confused

I wouldnt ever expect a note etc even after a wedding...

PeppasNanna Thu 03-Dec-15 14:58:48

Or an acknowledgement that they recieved a gift?

GenerationX2 Thu 03-Dec-15 15:07:30

Yes I would like nothing more to get a thank you whether it is a text, email, phone call or letter does not matter just some sort of acknowledgment. My DS always thanks me for her gifts but my DBI & DN's never do and it really irks me something terrible - maybe I'm a bad person but I can't get on board with the giving is enough theory.

Nanofone Thu 03-Dec-15 15:07:42

I do believe it's important to thank people for gifts and have brought my children up to do that. However, giving should be selfless and I don't feel hard done by if I don't get a thank you.

Kacie123 Thu 03-Dec-15 15:09:23

Yes, of course in real life you expect acknowledgements for most gifts (unless there are extenuating circumstances around it) but this is MN and it should all be about the total and unutterable joy of giving grin

MaxPepsi Thu 03-Dec-15 15:14:24

If I send something through the post/via another person then yes I do. It serves the dual purpose of confirming that it has arrived/been handed over.

If I hand over the gift to the recipient personally, than a verbal thanks at the time is enough. It would be nice to receive an additional thanks by way of text or card but I wouldn't see my arse over it.

abbieanders Thu 03-Dec-15 15:16:19

No, I don't expect it. One of my sisters in law is always scrupulous about getting the children to send them, and I do appreciate it, though. I always make a point of sending them if I haven't thanked the gifter in person. I'd feel very rude otherwise. But I think life has moved on.

Blueturquoise Thu 03-Dec-15 15:19:06

If it s not something I have handed over in person then i do like a thanks not fussed if it s by text email note etc but saying thank you is basic manners.
Mostly too like to know that the gift has gotten to where it was sent !

Tangoandcreditcards Thu 03-Dec-15 15:19:14

Of course I expect a thank you.

Not a handwritten note, but an acknowledgement of any gift not delivered in person, text is fine. Do people honestly not thank others for presents?

janinlondon Thu 03-Dec-15 15:24:06

I used to make DD write them, religiously. Until she pointed out that none of the people we were thanking ever thanked us for things we sent them. I was on a loser from then on.........

strawberryandaflake Thu 03-Dec-15 15:26:33

Just a quick text to say thanks is fine. I hate when I spend ages deciding what to get then hear nothing. Especially if it was posted. I never know if they actually got it or not or if they just hate it.

IamSantaClaus Thu 03-Dec-15 15:28:23

No yanbu. Like past posters have said surely saying thanks is just the done thing ? Just a text / email would be fine

gleam Thu 03-Dec-15 15:32:19

Although these days, all giving is face to face, so obviously people are thanked at the time.

GoApeShit Thu 03-Dec-15 15:36:50

I write thank you notes for things like birthday pressies. I'm not bothered if I do or don't receive a thank you note in return, but I find it bloody rude if a gift goes without any acknowledgement. A text is more than fine in my book. It's not because I'm selfish, but I think basic manners are important.

JessicasRabbit Thu 03-Dec-15 15:40:01

I absolutely expect a thanks. I don't care whether it is face to face, by text etc. But I do expect a thank-you, and I think a bit less of people who can't treat me with basic courtesy. Just as I think a bit less of people who don't say 'please' when asking for something, or don't acknowledge others holding the door for them.

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