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Feeling a bit low

(6 Posts)
Charlie97 Thu 03-Dec-15 13:47:01

Been married a long time, I will admit, but just lately I've felt very let down by my OH.

Currently at work I have been very unhappy, trying to do something proactive about this, so looking for a new job.

So, on Monday, after discussing this over the weekend with mutual friends and OH on the Saturday and Sunday, I was having a "telephone interview" with a new company. OH said nothing on Monday, ie good luck etc, so I had the interview. When I got home, he had clearly forgotten, now my money is joint money, it is vital it comes into the home, so I feel not only as I am totally stressed in my current role but also that it is a vital part of our income, he could take some interest. i told him how disappointed I was about his lack of interest. I felt it showed complete disregarded for the situation I am in and lack of thought.

He apologised, but I was/am upset, I told him I felt alone with my issues, that he is just happy that everything is ticking along not if I am happy etc, but nothing has had an adverse affect on the family etc.

Today, my sister is getting some very important medical results, he knows this, again knows how anxious I am about this. So, others (including cousins, friends, etc) have messaged saying hope things go well for her/us etc. Nothing from OH, my gut feeling is that he has again "forgotten", which I just find awful! He has known my sister for as long as he has known me, he knows how upset etc we will all find this.

I feel he is just not really taking an interest in my life, I have often told him stuff "he forgets", I have before said to him he comes across as only a "fair weather" partner, ie he is happy as long as nothing rocks his way of life.

I am inclined to not mention the results and see how long before he "remembers", but no doubt my attitude/body language will give my true feelings away!

AIBU to feel really hurt by his lack of interest/thought?

IceBeing Thu 03-Dec-15 14:59:08

It has obviously hurt you and I don't think it is unreasonable to hope for more attention from your DP. I think though that it hurting you enough that you would post about it might mean you are generally more unhappy than you realise?

You say you are unhappy at work, is that bleeding out into the rest of your life? Are you generally feeling low?

redexpat Thu 03-Dec-15 16:06:34

YANBU. I would find the lack of acknowledgement very upsetting, both about the things that are stressing you, and his lack of support or reaction.

IceBeing Fri 04-Dec-15 18:33:39

How are you doing now? Feeling any better?

Nicegreenhandbag Fri 04-Dec-15 18:51:38

It's fine to expect some interest, of course.
Trying to see it from his point of view for a moment though. Is he doing the benign neglect thing? No excuse but my husband does this, just totally forgets and doesn't mean a thing by it, completely unintentional, but hurtful for you on the receiving (non) end.

I have no solutions other than reinforcing to him how it does hurt and keep reminding him each time.

IonaNE Fri 04-Dec-15 19:51:31

OP, you might want to have this thread moved into Relationships.

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