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Carol concert related...

(8 Posts)
operaha Wed 02-Dec-15 18:19:08

Bit o background. Every year DS (10) is in his school carol concert in a church in our village. It is THE most christmassy thing ever and DD (18) and I adore it and end up in tears each year, especially when the "hand chimers" do their bit (a few kids selected each year to do so) - we absolutely love it, its 9 days or so before xmas and blah blah its our thing.

When ex h can he asks the school for an extra ticket but they are very strict on only 2 per child so if he cant get one he doesnt come as its mine and dd's thing etc.

Only this year, DS IS A HANDCHIMER!!!! DD and I are so excited and DS is mega proud. But I havent told ex h yet as I know he is entitled to the 2nd ticket. And then rather than sit with tears in my eyes with my dd Ill be sat with tears in my eyes alone, or worse next to him (we're not exactly pally).

Shall I a) let him have the ticket or b) try and secure an extra one before even mentioning that DS has his starring role? and if I cant get one??

I know what I should do... but I just hate the thought that dd will miss out when we've been doing this for years.
Dont flame me, I know I should be grateful his father would want to come etc but I am very very much the single parent and want to share this mega special night with my dd? I am very much the worry now and post on mumsnet when I cant actually contact the school type person ;)

BasinHaircut Wed 02-Dec-15 18:22:41

what does DS want? Does he give a shite if his dad is there or not?

BasinHaircut Wed 02-Dec-15 18:24:15

I meAn that your DD is an adult and will understand I'm sure if DS wants his dad there, even if she is upset.

ShelaghTurner Wed 02-Dec-15 18:25:11

How often does he go? If it's once in a blue moon and he's not generally that fussed then go with DD. Otherwise....ooh tough one...

operaha Wed 02-Dec-15 18:32:06

DS does NOT want to choose!!!!
Of course DD will be fine, Im just a bit meh about it... I want her there obvioulsy if I could pick....
Think Ill do the honest thing, ask for an extra ticket (theyve been told there wont be spares, its so popular) ... and if I cant have one Ill 'fess up and offer one to his dad and dd will miss out. Ill find a friend to sit with and enjoy I guess!

itsmine Wed 02-Dec-15 18:32:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleBeautyBelle Wed 02-Dec-15 18:34:25

First, I would try very hard to get the extra ticket and if you can do that, problem is solved.

If you can't get the extra ticket, I would assess if your son would want him there or not. If he does, then it would be appropriate for him to have the other ticket. I totally understand though why you feel your daughter should have it, she probably should. However, if it is important to your son, for this particular year when he has a starring role as hand chimer, to have his father there, I would defer to his need for his dad to see him in this concert. Let us know what you decide to do, good luck to you. Again, I empathize with you so much, it may seem as if your ex's presence will ruin the concert and also your daughter not being there when she deserves to be there too...this is a hard one.

operaha Wed 02-Dec-15 18:41:14

Oh the handchimes are the highlight, the kids are so sweet with the looks of concentration on their faces!! DS is year 5 but they have someone from each year so you have the littlies doing it too.
Our school has a staff choir too which sends shivers (I do bloody love a choir) theyre brilliant!
The whole thing has just always been mine and dd's thing.

Ask ex h to have his son for an extra hour/night, help me out financially then noooo but when there is proud parent moments, he is always right there.
best I stop, needs another thread

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