There's a lot of back story to this one so sorry this is going to be long.
We want to move to the next town near my parents so I can get extra help with my 3 dc's as 2 of them are sn. Now doing so will mean we are even further away from Dh family. I know this will cause alothe of drama but regardless it needs to happen. I don't want to tell dhs family till we actually have a house moving date ect. But I am also wondering if it's cruel do so. Now as far as seeing Dh family we barely do we have seen his dsis 2 times in the last year. His dad once and all though she tells everyone else she sees us once a week we are lucky to see her once a month.
It might seem cruel I want to keep it quiet but I don't want the drama this might bring. His sos hates because when dc3 was 13 days old he was rushed in to hospital with bronchiolitis says at 79% and ended up in resuscitation on oxygen feeding tube ect. Now 3 days previous to this Dh had a vasectomy so was in pain. However I had to go with dc3 and leave him with others dc's. Dc3 was in hospital for 4 days. Mil and sil both kept telling me I should leave him there alone and come home to look after Dh. How could I do that. I was never going to leave my baby in hospital alone so sick. Apparently I am immature selfish and nasty for not doing what they said.
Mil doesn't like me as she thinks I have made it so her son won't be successful apparently we are never going to own are own home or have any assets as I can't work because my 2 eldest dc's are sn. She thinks we never have money because I spend it all on the kids she thinks dc3 should have all dc2 hand me downs and I shouldn't buy them clothes of their own. We got married in August now I am a super anxious person and I can't cope being in the lime light so we decided that we would get married and only have my parents his parents and dc's there. The plan was we all walked in together. About 2 minutes before we went in my mil informed me I had ruined my dad's day as he wasn't walking me down the aisle. Now my dad knew I couldn't do it and was fully understanding and supportive of how we had planned our wedding.
My Dh dad doesn't visit if we visit there he leaves the room. I know he doesn't like me he told Dh he's doesn't and that I am noty Dh type and we shouldn't be together.
There's a lot more than that going on but I would say they are the core issues. Would it be so bad not to tell them we are moving till last minute or is that nasty?
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AIBU?
To not tell dhs family we are planning on moving to the next town till its all finalised.
17 replies
Memeto3boys · 02/12/2015 13:04
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