Aibu to tell her to fuck off, it's my dog(47 Posts)
Bought a puppy 6 months ago, from a friend of a friend. Decided on the dog after talking it over for a while as was worried to get another dog as there a huge commitment and tbh you don't know what the dogs like until you get it.
We had been searching the shelters but this puppy seemed the answer. We didn't mind what breed as long as it was small - medium, good with children and friendly.
Heard about this puppy for sale was 5 months old was the only dog in the litter due to stillbirth puppies and pup was for owners to keep. Due to circumstances changing owners decided to put pup up for re homing.
We went to visit pup many times, she was ready to go but the owners just couldn't let go and held onto her for another month dog was now 6 months. They finally agreed a date the pup would be ready and asked for another month, I had to message them and say unless the dog was ready this week we wernt willing to wait (worried they wouldn't part with her and have a devastated dc) they agreed and we paid for her and took pup home.
Realized the next day we didn't have a vaccination card so we didn't know next year when her boosters were due, got in touch no vaccine and no flea or working. Took her to vets next day and vet checked her out and said healthy dog come back for 2nd vaccine and microchip.
Pup settled in no problem and has taken over the house and our hearts, I work from home so spend most of the day with her she's the best dog I've ever come across and we all love her to bits.
We see the previous owners about and keep them updated about how she's getting on ect.
I have a rule with her as she doesn't cope with being left, if we plan to be out more than 2 hours she goes to GP or PIL.
Me and DC had a coach trip outing booked (dc birthday gift) and DH had to work and we had no one to look after pup asked friends if they could sit with her. Anyway they must of told previous owners and she called and said they be happy to have her for the day, arranged it, she went there and we went on our trip outing.
No problems all went well, pup happy to be home. Until I got a message prom previous owner saying they feel we are neglecting the dog and it would be best for her to be returned to them.
After some probing she said we were neglecting her as she is too skinny and you can feel her bones and when she jumps her bones click. I told her I had concerns over this about two months ago and went to the vets and there is no concerns. She is growing and this explains the occasional clicking and she had been weighed and the vet had said for the second time perfectly healthy dog. She is a cross bread so has traits of two breeds in her, her head is quite large and her body is quite slim and its deceptive and makes her look skinny plus we have had her hair cropped so she looks even more tiny now. Told her to call vet where it will be on her record.
Previous owner has now been carrying on for a few days and has said she will report us for neglect and has started to harass us and word for other people is starting to get round.
Dog is not being neglected no freaking way, and there is no way in hell we are returning her she is adored by all of us.
Aibu to tell he to fuck off? Or do I block her calls? How do I handle this?
First, take dog to vet for check-up. Today/tomorrow if possible.
Second, next time you get called, say 'dog went to the vet today. Vet said dog is fine. Please contact them in future. '
Third, block her number!
What a nightmare!
I have no idea why you would let your dog spend the day with them as they sound bonkers but hey ho. Are kennels / doggy day care not good where you live?
Re blocking calls, YY I would do this. First I would probably respond to her text asking her not to contact you again. It's easy to block callers on a newer model iPhone but I don't think it's so easy on other phones. You could call your service provider maybe? If she continues to harass you I would actually call the non-emergency police line. They might have a quiet word with her - this happened to a hairstylist I knew who was receiving loads of nasty phone calls from a disgruntled former client. The police had a word with the client and the calls stopped.
Re being reported for negligence well she had the right to report you; that doesn't mean anyone will find you negligent. It sounds like you are not negligent at all and I would like to think this would be obvious to anyone who does pay you a visit.
I think the fact you are taking the dog to the vets regularly proves there is no neglect. Any breeder is aware dog, whilst growing dogs can certainly go through a 'lanky' phrase. Keep a log of all her texted and emails and phone calls but don't speak to her directly. If she steps up her harassment you then have evidence if you decide to get police involvement. Now I would be clear and tell her to report you already, otherwise leave me alone.
Nope, YANBU - she is a loon. If the vet has no issues with her growth or health then she should definitely get tae fuck. You paid money for this dog as well as all the vaccinations, microchip etc and she wants you to return her?? I think you should speak to this madwoman, find out SPECIFICALLY what she is concerned about with regards to the dogs welfare and ask her if she wants to come along to the vets to "put her mind at rest"*
* shut her crazy mouth once and for all
What a nightmare...
Definitely take the dog to the vet, and do what a previous poster suggested and text the breeder saying you've been, our dog is perfectly healthy. Please do not contact me again.
When the vet has confirmed dog is fine, tell her that if she carries on badmouthing you to other people you will take defamation proceedings as well as reporting her for harassment.
YANBU, she's a nutter. Get her checked out again at the vet (I know you don't really need to, but just to cover your arse) and tell them you will seek legal advice regarding defamation if you hear more gossip about you.
stop talking to this woman altogether.
mention this in passing to the vets when youre next there? they would surely be able to put your mind at rest about the dog being taken off you.
Or contact the rspca or whoever shes threatened to report you to yourself?
i understand its worrying you but a negleted dog is pretty obvious, try not to worry.
Is your garden secure?? id be worried about this mad woman dog-napping him
Do you need to take the dog to the vet given they've already confirmed the dog is healthy?
I would tell the previous owner that you will report her to the police for harassment if she contacts you again.
I would go to a vet and get on letter headed paper a list of the concerns highlighted and his advice, communications on the matter, if they are willing to do so. I would then send recorded delivery/or scan and email, and say:
"As per previous communication, here is the vets advice regards X dog whom we purchased from you on X date. I feel it is in dogs name's best interests that we do not contact each other or arrange for him to spend time with you in future. As the breeder of the puppy I can understand your concerns for the dogs health, and whilst you are entitled to report negligence as and when you see it, I feel that the above evidence informs you sufficiently against that, which I think any animal protection body should find significant.
Please refrain from contacting us in future as it is upsetting for us as X is now our much loved pet."
I would then log with police in case she tries to steal the dog, and disengage. I would think she may be reporting you as she wants the dog back and believes this will happen.
Truthfully she neglected that pup by not getting him wormed, fleaed or vaccinated and microchipped.
She sounds like a dodgy backyard breeder and the police/animal protection bodies may find that interesting...
There was a something similar a while back where a couple re-homed their dog and they kept coming to "visit" it to make sure it was settled.
Months later they were still coming back, driving by the house to hope to see it in the garden or window
You need to nip this in the bud. Now. They are too attached to the puppy.
IMO she clearly fell in love with the puppy and wished they'd kept it. After looking after it for a day they love it even more - Now she probably reckons this is how they can get it back.
Ask the vets if it's possible to have a copy of the dog's 'notes' and email them to the crazy lady. Then in the same email say you do not want any further contact from them or you'll be contacting the police - And ignore.
YANBU. The next time she approaches you/messages you, tell her that this is harassment and not to contact you again. She won't get anywhere reporting you for neglect - the RSPCA will only act in cases of obvious and very serious neglect/abuse, if you've got a vet's clean bill of health you'll be fine.
They obviously just want the dog back, but she's yours now. It's a shame that with so many lovely dogs needing homes, your dog is in this strange tug-of-love situation.
Call her and tell her you've lodged a complaint about her with the police. That's all you need to say. She's a bully and a liar.
Has she bad mouthed you on social media? If so I would actually tell the police.
Stop contact now as it will only get worse. Send one last message - or better, a phone call - telling her not to contact you again and if you do, it will be referred to the police as harassment.
Has she bad mouthed you on social media? If so I would actually tell the police.
yes I am sure the police will put this to the top of their investigations list!
Tell the woman in no uncertain terms to back off and fuck off, block and delete her and ignore her in every way possible.
Report any online harassment and get posts deleted etc.
Tell mutual friends that she is harassing you in order to get the dog back.
Any involvement with her will "feed" her - you need to channel ghosting and move on without her in your life in anyway at all.
Agree with informing police (non emergency, obvs)about her harassment just in case your dog goes missing. Tell her you have done so.
Then to fuck off if she contacts you again
I wrote a really long answer but I lost it.
Gist of it: Tell them to fuck off, then block their numbers.
Actually, a lot of AIBU would be solved by more people telling other people to fuck off and mind their own business.
Thanks for all the advise. I will speak to DH and see what he thinks we should do. I do need to get flea treatment so I can speak to the vets. Thing is I don't want to spend more money getting her checked by the vets when we only went two months ago for same issue and why should I, she's been 3 times now so if the vets had any concern I'm sure they would of said. May see if I can get a print out of records.
Garden is secure, she doesn't go out by herself anyway only if I step out the back.
We have had many "visits" and just passing issues. Although I haven't posted about it.
I do get they love her dearly, that's clear but they decided to put her up for rehoming and we had her in good faith, if they have changed there mind or whatever that's not really my problem.
Re the comment about backstreet breeders, I don't think they are breeders as in to sell but they have bread to keep the pups. But they should of flead wormed and vaccinated her, the vet was suprised at that when we first took her in.
In hindsight we shouldn't of left her there it was for 8-9 hours so not overnight or anything but we were stuck at the time. They seemed nice enough, not personally my cup of tea to be friends with.
I wouldn't bother with lengthy paperwork or explanations to them. You owe them nothing. They rehomed the dog, it belongs to you. The dog is healthy and happy as confirmed by your vet. I would send one final recorded post letter informing the previous owners that if they continue to harass and bad mouth you then you will seek legal advice. Add that you expect no further contact with them from this point. Don't go into lengthy discussion about vets and their vaccination records etc.
a lot of AIBU would be solved by more people telling other people to fuck off and mind their own business.
New acronym? FOAMYOB
Of course you can tell her to fuck off but why not give her the benefit of the doubt and put her mind at rest? You’ve taken your pup to the vet and know she’s fine, so there’s no need for you to go to the expense of another vet check-up but I’d offer to let her pay for a check-up and come along so she can be reassured by the vet. While you're there, you can get the vet to discuss the importance of worming young puppies.
If anyone is being negligent here, it's the tossers who had the poor pup for SIX MONTHS without worming/vaccinating her
I wouldn't engage any more with these people OP, but I would certainly mention it to the police so that they have something on record from you if (god forbid) the pup went missing.
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