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To think that (at worst) you can understand what I mean from context?

(49 Posts)
OneMillionScovilles Tue 01-Dec-15 23:37:50

In the last few days I have used the following two turns of phrase to DH:

- (on people who are annoying but should be tolerated)"...but I'm not exactly going to invite them to Thanksgiving"

- (on being overly attacked for something) "There's no need to make a federal case out of it"

His immediate response has been to pretend he has noooo idea what I'm trying to communicate because we don't celebrate Thanksgiving or have such a thing as 'federal cases' in the UK. AIBU to think this is a weird and childish derailing? Any advice on how to take a deep breath also welcome. (I will be expunging anything non-British from my lexicon forthwith, wot wot!)

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Tue 01-Dec-15 23:39:28

YANBU. At all.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Tue 01-Dec-15 23:39:28

I would probably understand what you were trying to communicate but be a bit confused as to why you were using that turn of phrase unless you're American?

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Tue 01-Dec-15 23:40:15

But yes, pretending he has no idea what you're trying to communicate is childish and just trying to make a point.

TheHouseOnTheLane Tue 01-Dec-15 23:40:46

No YABU. Why on earth would you use cultural references that aren't in our experience?

It reduces the meaning of your turn of phrase.

Just say "But I'm not exactly going to invite them for tea" and "There's no need to make a song and dance out of it!" or something.

OneMillionScovilles Tue 01-Dec-15 23:41:34

Yeah, fair play grotbag - the first was actually on Thanksgiving and it sprang to mind before 'Christmas' or 'dinner party' as I'd been talking about it with American colleagues. The latter, I can only blame overconsumption of American TV!

IguanaTail Tue 01-Dec-15 23:44:23

Agree with Grot. The "not understanding" would piss me off. I would explain it in really careful and intricate detail as possible.

Jollyjogger Tue 01-Dec-15 23:44:43

I think its unusual to make American references but would take the comments in the way they were meant without being oedantic

Jollyjogger Tue 01-Dec-15 23:44:51


OneMillionScovilles Tue 01-Dec-15 23:46:22

House I hear you. It was just the first thing that came out - I guess I assume more cross-pollination of cultural references given how much has come across the pond (Black Friday anyone? sad)

In my defence it wasn't something where I weighed up phrases whilst writing an email etc - it was just the first thing that fell out of my mouth to make a given point. I would have thought most people would get what I was driving at even if the impact was diluted. Obviously ymmv smile

wigglesrock Tue 01-Dec-15 23:49:39

Oh Christ, he's being a bit of a pain in the arse isn't he? My 10 year old would have got what you meant with the Thanksgiving phrase.

Language is fluid and ever-changing, and IMO, it is entirely normal to pick up words and phrases that you hear - and that includes on TV, as well as the written word, conversation etc.

And even though you referenced American things, what you were saying was perfectly clear, as far as I am concerned. YWNBU - he was.

OneMillionScovilles Wed 02-Dec-15 00:02:08

Thanks guys. I was starting to think it was just me. I'm reading the responses as 'maybe I should de-Americanise' (not -ize - never -ize!!) but that it should have been carried by the context and let go...

Sigh. No doubt I will be a lot more British tomorrow when I apologise for getting so frustrated with the childish BS!

Enjolrass Wed 02-Dec-15 06:55:03

It depends if you were having a heated discussion and you kept throwing in random American phrases I would have said 'what the fuck are you talking about?' (Not in an aggressive way in a totally confused way)

Did he think you were trying to derail the conversation?

I would be baffled as to why your were using them, but have totally understood the references.

Collaborate Wed 02-Dec-15 07:56:37

I would be annoyed at someone using American cultural references in everyday speech. Time to stop watching so much American crap on TV, OP. grin

Djelibeyb Wed 02-Dec-15 08:03:00

I would understand and just let it go whilst silently judging you for using wanky American phrases specific to their culture when you aren't American...

OneMillionScovilles Wed 02-Dec-15 08:08:23

Haha, ok maybe IAB a bit U. They just came out of my mouth! Collaborate you may have a point... grin

OneMillionScovilles Wed 02-Dec-15 08:11:19

Interesting to see that others would be similarly hmm even if they wouldn't take it to 'feigning confusion' - I'll reign in the righteous indignation and (hopefully) the Americanisms wink

M48294Y Wed 02-Dec-15 08:16:15

I honestly wouldn't have understood what you meant by the federal case comment blush.

Bellemere Wed 02-Dec-15 08:21:49

But you wouldn't be inviting anyone to Thanksgiving, so that changes the point (for me anyway).

The federal case thing is just a bit odd but still makes sense.

BitOutOfPractice Wed 02-Dec-15 08:28:17

I think the British equivilants would be

"They are off the Christas card list"


"So sue me!"

But it is perfectly obvious what you're trying to say and your DH is being obtuse. YANBU

Bakeoffcake Wed 02-Dec-15 08:30:33

As you don't celebrate Thanksgiving it's a bit of a strange phrase to use. I'd be confused too and ask dh wtf he was on about and we'd have a laugh about it.

SummerNights1986 Wed 02-Dec-15 08:34:38

I would understand your point...but if DH used the second then i'd definitely go 'Thanksgiving?!?'

We live in the UK and don't (and have never) celebrated Thanksgiving, nor do we know anyone who does. It would seem a bit strange. I'd probably expect someone to say 'I'm not about to invite them for dinner' instead.

SummerNights1986 Wed 02-Dec-15 08:35:08

The first I mean, not the second.

KikiShack Wed 02-Dec-15 08:39:20

DP talks about being 'pissed' instead of pissed off and it drives me nuts.
I always pick him up on it and say 'so and so was drunk was she?' and he rolls his eyes at me.
Fun times.

He also used to do the annoying raised inflection thing. I battled for months about whether to say anything and did in the end- I chose a good happy time when he'd just done it and gently told him it irritated the fuck out of me and made him sound thick. He grumbled a bit but took it on board. Now whenever he slips and does it I do a bad impression of him and flash a boob. It seems to work. I'm not sure how better to have dealt with it tbh!

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