Background- first baby due in a few weeks. Absolutely zero capable family or friends nearby and available to help so feeling v on our own compared with most people we know. But fine about it.
Parents in law live abroad (their choice- they retired to live in a hot country they have no connections with). It has caused issues in the past with them not being physically present to pull their weight eg a few years ago when grandmother in law was very ill and it all fell to me and dh, but I mention it now not because I mind they're not available to offer more support (I don't) but because where they live means that with baby we have a situation where they obviously and reasonably want to see the baby but it means dh and I end up having extended staya to deal with rather than more frequent flying visits.
So... A tolerable arrangement in my mind would be parents in law popping in for an hour or so, every few days, or a day every few weeks, or an overnight stay less often, for example, depending on how far away they lived. Or meeting up for trips out etc. But she lives far enough that the time and airfare generally means people want to stay best part of a week to justify it.
She has said she intends to fly over ASAP when baby is born and I am filled with utter horror at the idea of having to be in hostess mode for days on end. We need to broach it with her and basically say she needs to keep the visit to only 2-3 nights max at a time (even that fills me with dread, but nothing I can do about it). I know she'll argue and say she'll be no trouble, and we can just do what we want and she'll keep out of our way, but if someone is staying on your house you can't actually really behave naturally can you?
Contending with a newborn baby and a house guest is making me panic. MIL is sweet as kind but also exhausting- when we visit them she's in my face talking constantly from the minute I open the bedroom door in the morning to well past midnight and ignores all hints that anyone else might want to go to bed earlier than her.
So....we need to have the conversation with her and lay down rules. But I want an idea beforehand of whether people think I'm a selfish antisocial inhospitable so-and-so, or perfectly reasonable. How I feel is how I feel and I don't apologise for that, but it would help us to approach the conversation to know first if IABU or not!
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AIBU?
Newborn baby and visiting MIL
40 replies
Sleepybeanbump · 01/12/2015 14:34
OP posts:
CrumbledFeta ·
01/12/2015 15:11
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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