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AIBU to send my child to childminder with hand, foot and mouth?

(65 Posts)
caroloro Mon 30-Nov-15 21:20:53

So, the childminder and I both read the NHS advice here

Which says highly contagious for about first week after symptoms (we are more than a week in...thought it was teething/dribble rash last week, until the spots on her hands and feet) and no need to keep a child off school or nursery unless poorly with it (she's not, she's raring to go - other than the hideous blisters round her mouth, you wouldn't know she was poorly).

On balance, both she and I agreed it was no biggie for DD to attend as usual. However, one of the other Mums was aghast, refused to leave her child with childminder, threatened to sue childminder if her child got HFM, said child wouldn't be back this week, and that she wouldn't pay either.


NeedSomePeaceAndQuite Mon 30-Nov-15 21:22:17

I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my DD with a CM who had another child there with HFM. I know that might be U of me but I wouldn't feel
Comfortable sorry

NickNacks Mon 30-Nov-15 21:22:51

Poor cm, damned if she does and damned if she doesn't.

YouGottaKeepEmSeparated Mon 30-Nov-15 21:23:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PurpleDaisies Mon 30-Nov-15 21:24:28

If the childminder is happy to accept your child, isn't the rest of it her business to deal with? It isn't really your issue at all.

NickNacks Mon 30-Nov-15 21:24:31

Fwiw I wouldn't accept your child in my setting.

Katymac Mon 30-Nov-15 21:26:15

I think this is the current one but she would be on very dodgy ground to exclude for HFM

SanityClause Mon 30-Nov-15 21:26:51

As you were open with the CM about the stage of the illness your DD was at, and she agreed to take her, then YANBU.

The CM needed to make a judgement call about whether taking your DD was the right thing for her to do. If she had changed her mind after the other mother complained, then you would probably just have to accept that, though.

Maybe83 Mon 30-Nov-15 21:27:16

If she s past the contagious stage it s no problem and the other child has already been exposed. My dd has just had it. She was extremely I'll though so was only fit for home which thankfully my mam was able to stay with us.

Littlefish Mon 30-Nov-15 21:27:47

I work in a nursery and we always go by the Local Authority book on infectious diseases etc. If the book says your ds is ok to be with the childminder, then that's it.

Obviously, it's up to the childminder to show the documentation to the other parent and deal with it. It's really not your concern.

Tatie3 Mon 30-Nov-15 21:28:31

Although there is no recommended exclusion period HFM is extremely contagious and can be really nasty for some children. I'm a childminder and would be very reluctant to take a child with this, luckily the parents I mind for are fairly sensible when it comes to illness and would choose to keep their child at home (I understand that it's more difficult for some to take time off though).

I do think you've been rather unreasonable in sending your child I'm afraid.

yorkshapudding Mon 30-Nov-15 21:28:42

I would feel terrible knowing that my CM was losing money and risking her reputation because I'd chosen to send my child with HFM. On the other hand, if the CM is fully aware of your child's illness and has made the decision to accept them then I suppose, technically, it's up to her to deal with any complaints that arise as a result of that decision. I suspect she feels very torn though and I don't envy her being put in this difficult position.

sakura06 Mon 30-Nov-15 21:29:16

It isn't very pleasant at all, although the symptoms are short-lived. My daughter's school asked us to keep her home for the rest of the week when she had it and the GP also suggested she stayed home, even though the guidance is they can go to school if they seem well. A difficult one, really... I don't think YABU as long as your CM is happy for your daughter to attend. I can see the other mother's viewpoint having caught it from my daughter though (ulcerated mouth and throat and painful blisters for days)!

caroloro Mon 30-Nov-15 21:28:51

To the people who are saying I am BU, did you read the NHS advice saying highly contagious for the first week (we are out of this period) and no reason to keep off school or nursery?

HopefulHamster Mon 30-Nov-15 21:29:19

It is perfectly fine to send a child to childcare with HFM. If they are poorly keep at home, but once recovering fine. It is a contagious virus just as a cold is.

shutupandshop Mon 30-Nov-15 21:29:54


Katymac Mon 30-Nov-15 21:30:54

We were always told if we excluded for non-excludable illnesses we could be sued for loss of earning/cost of replacement childcare if the parent didn't agree.....

TheCrowFromBelow Mon 30-Nov-15 21:30:50

NHS website says you should contact your GP if showing symptoms after more than a week.

I have to say I wouldn't be overjoyed that you were there, but then DS1 got cold sores from another child nursery when he was about 16 months and was so ill he didn't eat for a week.

Has your DD has been at the CM whilst infectious anyway?

SocksRock Mon 30-Nov-15 21:31:53

No exclusion is needed for HFM, so I don't think you are being unreasonable at all if your child is well.

lexigrey Mon 30-Nov-15 21:32:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedSomePeaceAndQuite Mon 30-Nov-15 21:34:36

NHS advice changes quite often on many different things. If your CM wants to accept that fine but I still think it's U to send a child that isn't completely healed and I wouldn't be happy sending my child but that's just my opinion

anotherdayanothersquabble Mon 30-Nov-15 21:35:49

I am afraid I am with the other Mum on this. Perhaps you are reading it conservatively and seeing 'fine to send to nursery if she is not poorly' and she is seeing 'highly contagious for a week after symptoms (spots on hand and feet) appear which from your post is sometime during last week so a week has not yet passed. HFM is unpleasant. This link suggests it can be contagious for much longer that the first week though the risks are highest in the first week. With young children in a childcare environment, the risks of droplets of fluid passing between them are high, sharing of toys, playing in close proximity, sharing toilet facilities. Unless the childminder has hospital like cleanliness and procedures, I would not be over the moon. As for threatening to sue and refusing to pay, I am not sure but I would be looking into it and possibly looking for alternatice childcare.

Quodlibet Mon 30-Nov-15 21:37:06

Your childminder should have an illness policy which sets out what she will accept in her setting. If she does and the other parent has signed it then she has no grounds for throwing her weight around.

Cardbordeaux Mon 30-Nov-15 21:46:04

In my setting, if the child is past the contagious stage and is happy to be there (i.e., not poorly) then I'd take them. If they were still contagious or if they were non-contagious but poorly then I wouldn't take them. This is clearly stated in my policy documents.

What is your CMs policy on illness and infectious diseases? If her policy allows your DC to attend and the other mum then chooses not to send her DC then she hasn't got a leg to stand on, the CM can still bill her for the hours she would have used and can take her to court if she refuses to pay.

caroloro Mon 30-Nov-15 21:46:44

Mixed reviews! I might ask CM if we signed an illness policy, I can't remember if we did.

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