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Reverse AIBU - How to be reasonable in reply to stbxh

(18 Posts)
Dungandbother Mon 30-Nov-15 20:53:01

In a vain attempt to shout here rather than at stbxh, this is sort of a reverse AIBU. I really want to BU.... But I know it's pointless. And I need to let off steam.

I emailed him a school letter about DD, a residential, politely asking does he agree she can go and how we'd divvy the cost.

I got this in reply.... Just this. No reply to the actual email.

And what have you done to DS hair? It looks awful the poor kid. Let it grow and get some shape to it. It's too short and badly cut.

summerainbow Mon 30-Nov-15 21:15:55

Don't enter into any argument about hair.

Reschool trip if you can afford it alone just do it. If you can't afford tell child and he does not go.

Jelliebabe1 Mon 30-Nov-15 21:22:55

Just reply "oh thanks! Obviously what you meant to say was yes and I'll pay!!!"

Littlefish Mon 30-Nov-15 21:24:53

It sounds like there might be an e-mail missing which he sent before the one about the hair.

Starting a sentence with "And what have you done to DS hair" sounds like an addition to another communication.

Dungandbother Mon 30-Nov-15 21:27:04

You'd have thought so little fish... But Nope. Nothing.

Incidentally, ex hasn't had a hair cut since leaving 2 1/2 years ago.....

Does that allow me total unreasonableness?

Dungandbother Mon 30-Nov-15 21:27:32

Jellie - precisely what I want smile

abbsismyhero Mon 30-Nov-15 22:26:28

how old is ds? old enough to decide the fate of his own hair?

HerRoyalNotness Mon 30-Nov-15 22:44:55

Just email back.....

So what do you think about the school trip. DD needs to know by x date and deposit by y date

Dungandbother Tue 01-Dec-15 06:35:58

DS is 5
He loves his hair

Birdsgottafly Tue 01-Dec-15 06:49:02

I agree with ignoring what he's written and reply with a straight to the point Email about the trip.

YakTriangle Tue 01-Dec-15 06:58:59

'DS is very happy with his hair, and he is delighted that you noticed his smart new haircut. Now about DD's trip..?'

IwishIwasinNewYork Tue 01-Dec-15 07:06:21

Please ignore the hair comment. Just ask again directly and politely about the trip.

GruntledOne Tue 01-Dec-15 07:15:24

I agree, just ignore the comment and repeat the question.

Mind you, age 5 seems very young for a residential trip.

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger Tue 01-Dec-15 07:23:24

GruntledOne it's OP's DD going on the trip, not her 5yo DS.

I like YakTriangle's response.

ZoeTurtle Tue 01-Dec-15 08:01:42

I wouldn't reply to the comment at all. Just repeat the question about the trip.

SistersOfPercy Tue 01-Dec-15 08:06:33

I agree, ignore hair comment.

"Thanks, could you transfer £x into my account by Friday please so I can pay for it"

Don't get into petty discussion with him at all.

Dungandbother Tue 01-Dec-15 17:22:39

Sigh. You're all right. I so wanted to be completely unreasonable grin

Thanks for replies

abbsismyhero Tue 01-Dec-15 17:59:55


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