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To feel really annoyed and offended when someone insults my country

(66 Posts)
1a2b3c4d Mon 30-Nov-15 17:52:44

I have an acquaintance who has lived in my country since childhood, yet constantly complains about how it is so very backward, there's nothing to do, the people are boring, our accent is horrible, etc. She also likes complaining about the majority religion and how we are all so stupid to follow our faith and so on.

I'm sorry, but if you are going to mouth off the whole way through uni and then on Facebook as well, why don't you just go back to England? Thought so... you don't want to leave your nice tax-payer funded job and luxury house. Shut up then.

Not all 100% wrong, but I've lived all over the world and my home country has so many good things about it. It just feels like a personal slight sometimes.

Rant over.

P.S. It's not in N.Am.

abbieanders Mon 30-Nov-15 17:56:27

Well I'm sure everywhere attracts legitimate criticism but nobody likes relentless negativity about where they live or their family.

WorraLiberty Mon 30-Nov-15 18:00:58

What country is it?

junebirthdaygirl Mon 30-Nov-15 18:05:04

I have this with a friend who came here to get away from serious violence in their home country. She never stops complaining about the government the way we do things the people. It drives me mad. I think why don't you toddle on back and see how you like it.

hefzi Mon 30-Nov-15 18:19:26

People are like this all over - even in the UK, we have people who have other citizenships relentlessly moan about our country :-)

I once fell into that trap when I was living abroad (not of relentless moaning, just moaning to a friend how I hated the country and the people and the lack of organisation etc): the friend I was speaking to at the time said, "If you hate it here so much, why don't you go home?" (Not in an accusing way, just mystified why anyone so unhappy would stay.) He was right - and I did. That was right too. So next time your friend tries it, maybe go for the utter mystification, and suggest a return?

If she's not self-aware enough to pick up on this and shut up, do it every time until she gets the message.

(Passive aggressive, me?!)

1a2b3c4d Mon 30-Nov-15 18:22:37

I'm not going to say what country it is bc this isn't about judging the place.

Baconyum Mon 30-Nov-15 18:23:37

I'd just ask her 'why you still bloody here then?!'

I've also lived overseas, frankly I preferred to uk and still miss it!

DrDreReturns Mon 30-Nov-15 18:30:50

My former boss was from another European country, and he moaned a lot about the UK. The NHS was rubbish, your economy is a mess etc etc. I found it really quite wearing. If I was living abroad I'd never criticise the 'host' country with such vitriol to a native. I think it's very bad manners.

Alisvolatpropiis Mon 30-Nov-15 18:45:14

Yanbu

Cloppysow Mon 30-Nov-15 18:45:29

It's Scotland isn't it?

Istanbulla Mon 30-Nov-15 18:47:55

grin

RiverTam Mon 30-Nov-15 18:50:33

Why are you living here not there? Out of interest?

I slag off England all the time (I'm english). It's like a hobby. Then I go on tumblr and enjoy how much everyone else adores England.

RiverTam Mon 30-Nov-15 18:51:11

My guess is Ireland.

SquinkiesRule Mon 30-Nov-15 18:52:28

YANBU. I have two countries, citizen of both and my life has been split between the two, I love both.
I get all sweary feeling when people moan about a country they came to voluntarily. Really, if you don't like the place then bugger off home to the place you came from.
Every place has good and bad, but focusing on the bad and the constant moan gets on my nerves.

ConceptOfBiscuits Mon 30-Nov-15 18:55:03

I quite often think my feeling towards family were like my feelings towards my Country, I could say bad things about either but wouldn't like another person having a bitch.
However quite often the things others say about my Country are true and they can see and are able to critique without emotion and/or rose tinted glasses.
Does not mean they do not like things in said Country.

Maybe agree with your friend that you wont discuss if this upsets you, or also point out the positives.

On a side note june do you really think a person who may have experienced worse in their home Country can not comment about "less worse" in another Country?

LumelaMme Mon 30-Nov-15 19:02:15

I think perhaps what June was getting it was the 'never stops complaining'. The odd grumble is one thing, constant whinging is quite another.

I think it's very rude to moan all the time about anything - and to moan endlessly to someone about their home country, especially if you choose to live in it, is both tactless and stupid.

sarahquilt Mon 30-Nov-15 19:02:36

Ireland is not remotely backward, so if anyone is saying that about Ireland, they're a twunt. Whatever country it is, that person is an ill mannered twunt. Don't slag off the host country is basic manners when you're loving abroad.

sarahquilt Mon 30-Nov-15 19:03:06

'living' even

Dapplegrey1 Mon 30-Nov-15 19:09:30

I think you should say something to your acquaintance - she sounds very rude.

riverboat1 Mon 30-Nov-15 19:10:35

I think it's like I'M allowed to moan about my mum/family, but I wouldn't want anyone else (non family) to moan about them to me. Totally normal.

I live abroad and get really annoyed when people here criticise the UK based on having been on a school exchange there 20 years ago, or one weekend in London or whatever.

Fatfreefaff Mon 30-Nov-15 19:15:03

I think some people are basically unhappy and blame everything else. My Mum used to slag off her home country (place with clogs and windmills) but I think it was really directed at her own family/community
she grew up in.

My DH is Irish and did used to try and provoke me by cheering loudly if GB/England lose at sport etc. I had a right go at him last time pointing out benefited from Uni and he has made his living here, gets NHS treatment which would bankrupt him in Ireland and his wife and kids are English - he hasn't behaved like that since. Oddly enough I have far more Irish ancestors than him and he is more Scots/English by descent than me. National identity is quite odd sometimes.

Arfarfanarf Mon 30-Nov-15 19:16:03

Well yes of course it begs the question if you hate it do much why not leave, but presumably there is more she likes than not.
Perhaps ask her what she does like.

But i dont understand why you take it as a personal slight. I wouldnt get offended if someone moaned about the country i was born in. I didnt have a hand in building it so its no criticism of me. Im just there cos two people happened to shag while living there. :D

IsYourNameMichaelDiamond Mon 30-Nov-15 19:16:58

Friends of ours spent a huge amount of time bemoaning the country we all lived in (Europe not UK). We didn't agree and found it annoying but it turns out they were talking themselves into a move back to UK which made sense in the long run. Might that be what's happening here?

Hatethis22 Mon 30-Nov-15 19:17:32

What Arf said.

VestalVirgin Mon 30-Nov-15 19:35:22

I slag off England all the time (I'm english). It's like a hobby. Then I go on tumblr and enjoy how much everyone else adores England.

I do that too, with my country. It's normal to complain a bit (or a lot) if you have grown up in that country and it is home. I don't want to leave, as I love the country and all my friends and family live here, so I am stuck with complaining about backwards politics, stupid people, etc.

It would be different if someone had just moved here last week and went on and on about how some other country was so much better. That would be annoying and I'd ask "then why don't you go back?".

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