I've been in a relationship with a great guy for two years. Things are mostly great except for this:
He has a dc from a previous relationship which isn't a problem in itself, and i get on well with the child. The issue is that I get irritated by the way my DP parents. I realise that most of this is none of my business, we don't live together currently although we are planning on doing this in the next couple of years. DP is also very keen to have a child with me in a few years and so I guess I'm paying attention as I realise that he will likely parent our child similarly. I must stress that he's generally a good and responsible parent - regular contact, maintenance, very much loves his child which makes me feel like iabu to feel this way.
For a start, he has a really weird attitude to food. Dc is very very fussy so DP's solution is to take them to fast food places a lot. He has his dc EOW and once during the week and there have been some weeks where they have gone to fast food places 3 or 4 times. I find this grossly excessive but he doesn't seem to think it's an issue at all. DC will eat home cooking but has to be cajoled by DP for what feels like ages and dc openly expressed disgust. I do most of the cooking so it makes meal times awkward. Having said that, DC is the same at restaurants. The only time they'll happily eat is at fast food restaurants.
The next one I feel a bit bad about, but it's a trait I dislike in anyone and I have ditched friends for doing this - competitive parenting. I do think it's nice that dp is so proud of his DC but you'd think they were a child genius the way DP goes on! DP will sometimes wax lyrical about the tiniest achievement. For example, I shit you not, he was actually showing off the other day that his DC will look for a banana that is lying on its own and have it for breakfast because he knows now that DP has put it out specifically for him. Genuinely, he was actually proud of him for this when to my mind, it's a perfectly ordinary thing any child could do and at a much younger age (his DC is 9). Apparently at parents evening, DP was actually told that his DC and another girl are the brightest in the class. I don't want to disbelieve my DP but I was surprised that any teacher would actually use those words. Ime, teachers only ever talk about your child and not in a comparative way. These are just a couple of examples. Whilst I make all the right noises whilst he's telling me this stuff, it is wearing thin hearing about how amazing his child is. I mean, I'm proud of my DC but I don't go on about it because nobody else gives a shit and I understand that.
I think part of the problem is that I feel like he's saying my kids aren't as great by comparison. He's never actually said that but it's what goes through my mind when he's off on one of his show off rants. The other issue is that DP only has one child. I have two so understand better that every child has its unique talents and that nobody is 'better' than the other. I think he's actually a little insecure and this manifests as competitiveness, particularly over his child. I think this links to the fast food thing and generally spoiling his DC with sweets and toys because he thinks his DC deserves it for being so amazing.
Anyway, AIBU to be so irritated by this or would it equally do your head in?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
To be so irritated by this?
22 replies
MohFoh · 30/11/2015 17:38
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.