Short story, recent really bad news terminal illness of elderly parent - prognosis of months. Had to tell work as I may need to dash off at very short notice for various things, which they are fine with from managers' point of view. Trouble is, certain colleagues have gathered this on the grapevine - we work remotely so haven't yet had individual conversations with all of them myself - some of whom I have found out are talking behind my back via IM about what a hard-ass bitch I am for not being found weeping in the toilets about this/apparently not wanting to spend every working moment with parent [who has been clear doesn't want me to spend it that way as they have their own life and friends]/still working usual hours, as they would be totally broken up by it, unable to come in, etc etc and implying I clearly don't care for or love said parent, or I'll have some of huge breakdown later if I don't do it the way they would.
But actually I'm like the parent in question about this - whose view about it is "shit, but I am going to carry on as normal and get on with stuff and not brood and sit around feeling sorry for myself", do sit on my feelings a lot anyway - state normal for me, survival tactic honed over a LOT of shitty things that have happened over 30-some years past. And what's wrong with that, isn't that valid as their and my choice and personality? Who made these indivs the feelings police? Ugh makes it all so much worse, people.
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AIBU?
To think it's ok to handle this awful news the way I am doing?
58 replies
toconclude · 29/11/2015 22:39
OP posts:
Brokenwardrobe ·
29/11/2015 22:51
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