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AIBU?

To think its fine to pay to go private on something rather then waiting years on the NHS

24 replies

DyslexicScientist · 29/11/2015 10:51

Its not for me, but my aunt. She's retired and on a good pension. Been waiting over 18 months for something on the NHS and her health is deteriorating. She could if easily afforded it but decided to wait and get it done on the NHS. This is bonkers to me. Aibu to try to push her to get it done? I'm worried the longer she waits the worse it will never be the same again.

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SummerNights1986 · 29/11/2015 10:55

If you're able to.

My sister has private health insurance at work if the GP writes an open referral. She decided to go private for a (needed and covered) simple op and the GP spent days wrangling with her, trying to change her mind and get her to have it done 'in house' by the NHS, despite a decent wait list.

We're still not sure why! I don't know if there's some sort of benefit to GP's in not referring or if the one she saw was just a bit weird.

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MidnightVelvetthe4th · 29/11/2015 10:58

Its not your decision though, all you can do is to say your opinion, I happen to agree with you though.

There may be many reasons why she prefers to wait, maybe she cannot see why she should pay when she can get it for free, she may not agree with you on the risks involved, she may be trying to keep her dependants inheritance intact, she may have been through the war years & had saving drummed into her & now views anything like private healthcare as an impossible indulgence that she's not worthy of...

She has her reasons & that doesn't mean she is wrong, do you know what the reason is btw? :)

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chipsandpeas · 29/11/2015 11:00

course if you can afford it look into it

bupa give rough cost estimates, i think a lot of people (esp older generation) think it costs more than it really is

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VegetablEsoup · 29/11/2015 11:00

yanbu
dc has a very rare health condition.
nhs dragged their feet, was very inconsistent.

in the end we went private for investigation and start of treatment. if we are lucky we got away without permanent damage due to the delay (we are talking nearly a year from first symptoms to diagnosis) to dc. 10k ouch well spent imo.

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AtSea1979 · 29/11/2015 11:01

A lot of the time the NHS waiting list is shorter than private waiting list. Having said that 18 months is a long time. Are you sure this is right? As round here the waiting list on most op is usually around 3 months. I guess it depends on the op but my family has had 4 different types of op in the past couple of years and 3 months was the longest we ever waited.

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itsmeohlord · 29/11/2015 11:01

OF course it is fine to pay if that is YOUR choice. What is not fine is bullying someone into something against their wishes to make a decision that is your choice not theirs.

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kitsondae · 29/11/2015 11:01

Depends on a lot of things, whether the waiting might do more damage in the longer term, and affordability. We paid for a private autism assessment after getting the runaround from the NHS for a year. It took a month to get to see the private consultant but they diagnosed on the same day, and it helped DD get her statement and private special school funding. If we'd waited she'd have deteriorated massively and probably wouldn't be accessing education by now. I have friends who were in the same stage of NHS diagnosis at the same time and they still don't have a diagnosis. We actually had to use credit to pay for the private assessment but for us it's paid off in better life prospects for DD.

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sleepwhenidie · 29/11/2015 11:03

Something else to consider is whether your aunt might simply be scared OP...old people often are, they are very aware of so many of their peers going to hospital and either not coming out or having to go into care afterwards?

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TimeToMuskUp · 29/11/2015 11:21

Absolutely. I'm not a fan of the whole privatised healthcare system and feel that everyone should be entitled to good-quality free healthcare paid for via taxpayers money. But the reality is that waiting lists, postcode discrepancies and short-staff mean that some people just don't get quality healthcare when they need it.

DH and I took out private cover when the DCs were born, thinking it'd cover any long-term issues for them. So far DS1 has had his tonsils, adenoids and grommets done (3 times for the grommets) privately and I've just had an oophorectomy via laparoscopy. My GP openly admitted that if I'd not said "we have private insurance" he wouldn't have referred my to Gynae for a long time yet because I'm too young to have any major health issues (I'm 34, not too young at all given I had Dyskaryosis when DS1 was born 10 years ago). It's utter madness and I now see why people choose that option.

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DyslexicScientist · 29/11/2015 12:02

Her reasons are the I've already paid thing, which she kind of has and hasn't. The NHS won't ever cover every operation and i feel Ni covers some sort of basic care, but notbfully compressive.

Then again it could be she's scared. I know its her own money, butbibhave to help out and see her in pain.

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londonrach · 29/11/2015 12:11

If she goes private make sure aftercare is included

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DyslexicScientist · 29/11/2015 12:15

Thanks rach, will do

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rosy71 · 29/11/2015 17:49

My sister has private health insurance at work if the GP writes an open referral. She decided to go private for a (needed and covered) simple op and the GP spent days wrangling with her, trying to change her mind and get her to have it done 'in house' by the NHS, despite a decent wait list.

We're still not sure why! I don't know if there's some sort of benefit to GP's in not referring or if the one she saw was just a bit weird.Usually, the doctors

Probably because doctors in private hospitals/practice also work for the NHS. Often, if someone has something done privately, it's similar to going to the front of the queue because it'll be the same doctor or surgeon treating you however you get there. Consequently, people going privately make the NHS qaiting lists longer.

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rosy71 · 29/11/2015 17:49

*waiting lists, even

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seaweed123 · 29/11/2015 18:44

I have private health through work, but am on the nhs waiting list to see a specialist for something pretty painful, as it just feels wrong to pay to jump the queue. (Any treatment needed will be done in the same hospital by the same doctors). I have been thinking about this a lot, and i know there is an argument either way. But currently it feels wrong. I might change my mind when I find out the wait for treatment though.

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Hoppinggreen · 29/11/2015 19:26

seaweed have you considered that if you do go Private it moves everyone behind you up on the waiting list up?

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Francoitalialan · 29/11/2015 20:20

Rosy71 people using private medicine DO NOT make the NHS waiting lists longer! What nonsense!
The doctors who do NHS work will in most cases do their private stuff on the side and fit it around their contracted NHS job.
By going privately people REDUCE the burden on the NHS.

That has to be right up there in my top 5 daftest things I've ever seen on Mumsnet!Grin

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Francoitalialan · 29/11/2015 20:21

Seaweed123 by using your private cover you reduce the burden on the NHS. I strongly believe if you have it then you're morally obliged to use it!

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NinaSimoneful · 29/11/2015 20:25

Yeah of course if you can afford it. But this isn't you, maybe your aunt didn't feel like she can afford it. Her choice really. I definitely agree with pps that if you went private that would free up a space for someone who had no choice but to wait. But it is ultimately your aunts choice.

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AppleSnapple · 29/11/2015 20:25

Agree going privately reduces burden on NHS (and I am a doctor!)

HOWEVER there are some things I wouldn't recommend going privately for, primarily because they are so serious or have such significant potential complications that you wouldn't want your post -op stay (however plush and lovely) to be in a hospital with minimal emergency cover etc, far better to be in a NHS hosp with rafts of lovely junior doctors around to help!

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Francoitalialan · 29/11/2015 20:31

Yep. Private wing of a big public teaching hospital is best I reckon.

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DinosaursRoar · 29/11/2015 20:34

The surgon I know who does some private and some NHS work has a set hours contract for the NHS work and does the private on the other days. Going private doesn't mean he doesn't work for the NHS on a day he would otherwise work for them, so demand or lack there for for private practice by him has no effect on NHS waiting lists.

OP - many people politically/morally are against going private, they've already paid, but also more that it feels wrong to jump the queue. There's also a way of lying to yourself that 'it's not that bad' if the Doctors are happy to leave you for a while without an op, it's the ones where they rush you in you have to worry about...

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DyslexicScientist · 30/11/2015 12:50

Ibthink yhr myth about q jumping needs to be squashed. I know it doest jump the q. it just means the days off the doctor has booked to do private to unused and it pushes people further down NHS list if people that have the cover don't use it! Almost the opposite!

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KeepOnMoving1 · 30/11/2015 12:54

We have private through DH work and I only use that. We can see a specialist of gp almost immediately and I think it's a huge benefit to use it. If your aunt has it and can afford it, then she's just being miserly to prolong her pain just because it's free to wait longer.

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