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Aibu or is it him

(18 Posts)
Tamponlady Sat 28-Nov-15 21:10:17

My brother in law cam to stay this weekend and yesterday I was running round like a blue ***fly trying to get anything ready he was staying in my teenage sons room witch needed a deep clean I wanted to clean the bathroom etc Hoover

But all this was difficult as my son attended school in London and we live in Bedfordshire so you can imagine how long it takes I picked him up at 4 and we didn't get home until 6:30 ffs so I asked oh who was home at 5 to mop he was staying he didn't have time

I reminded him that it was his sodding brother not mine and if I hadn't spent all day in tesco buying food and bed sheets I would of been able to finish everything

So sadly today my son and to attend the GCSE booster so again I had to drive him down to London I picked up his other brother then drove back went to lidil and got the salad stuff for lunch my plan was to make lunch for them before heading back to pick up son and leave them to it arrived home with a bag of stuff he then says oh we're off out to lunch so don't worry about us

I was furious I have barley had enough time to eat this weekend so far he had the little one so said when you get back with the big son were all of out I was like um I planned to make you lunch he was like oh have it tomorrow

So I just left to pick up my son but what really got my got on my way back he rings me 4 times asking me to hurry up because his brothers and board and Hungary and texts me 4 times the last call he made I snapped

He asked me were I was (I was on my way home from London) and said why and I runuining your lunch plans he then says well everyone's starving I said stop bleeping hassling me I was going to make you lunch 2 hours ago before I bleeping left

Got home brothers all packed and have left because oh said they heard what I said over the phone I do like my brother in law but it's a relief tbh oh has gone with

It just would of been nice for him to mention they weren't having lunch before I spent most of today and yesterday planning for it and also not fucking hassling me to get back home because they were hungry ffs

Oh and I was also told during the course of this weekend my sister in law her kids and husband and my in laws are coming for Boxing Day witch is news to bleeping me

redgoat Sat 28-Nov-15 21:15:44

Sorry, this is going to come across as critical but it's very hard to understand your post due to the lack of punctuation and what (I think is) many 'autocorrect' errors.

From what I can gather, your husband is not a child and you are not his mother so he should have been able to sort himself out.

Tamponlady Sat 28-Nov-15 21:16:35

We're still not talking told him I am done with his sodding family's always feel worse for having been in their comapy and we always end up rowing after any contact with them last week my brother came over with his wife toattly different weekend

Tamponlady Sat 28-Nov-15 21:17:11

Sorry redgoat. Just had to get it out.

Euphemia Sat 28-Nov-15 21:17:37

You sound very passive in all of this. Why are your DH's family your problem? Let him get on with it. Don't allow yourself to be treated this way.

wasonthelist Sat 28-Nov-15 21:17:52

I read all that but am not sure what your AIBU is?

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sat 28-Nov-15 21:19:54

DH can cook for his family. You can go out. Problem solved.

whatdoIget Sat 28-Nov-15 21:20:48

It sounds like you're doing all the housework, cooking, shopping, picking children up, and your husband is doing fuck all? That's not right. Hibu

ofallthenerve Sat 28-Nov-15 21:24:27

Sorry OP but why the fuck are you running around like this for your BIL coming? Your OH isn't a child and you aren't his mother as a pp said. I can't believe he then summoned you back to feed them shock. Feed yourself you giant arsefuck. I would have laughed myself silly if DH did that to me.

MarmaladeBasedProtectionRacket Sat 28-Nov-15 21:28:48

Your poor husband, is he so infirm he is incapable of rustling up lunch for himself and his brother but has to wait for you to get home and do it for him?

Not sure why Boxing day is a problem - I assume your husband will be doing the cleaning, shopping and cooking for his guests?

gamerchick Sat 28-Nov-15 21:31:20

And breathe flowers

Why on earth are you doing it all?

Oliversmumsarmy Sat 28-Nov-15 21:58:00

Why are you making life so difficult for yourself?

Can I ask why your ds can't get the train to and from school. Presumably if he is old enough for GCSEs and he hasn't got any problems then why are you driving him to and fro?

Why are you the only person who is able to use the kitchen?

Tamponlady Sat 28-Nov-15 22:09:43

The reason why why I wanted to make a good impression because the last time I had the one of his siblings round his sister she told the whole family our house was awful

It may not seem like a big deal but it really knocked my confidence for ages.

And I really could face more rumours that I am a dirty cow

He's down stairs at the moment just so cross can't believe he can't see why I am pissed of I made all that effort then he just dismissed it , then acted like I didn't say I was making lunch for eveyone then was hassling me to get back from picking up ds quickly because they were hungry ffs and wanted fuck off out for some food

He has no idea how stressful it is doing a round trip from beds to London everyday , cooking and cleaning cramming it all in before I leave to pick ds up then to throw in visitors that he is not willing the tend to.

Also Boxing Day is a big issue one because they are making plans to Come to my home without even asking I think that's a frigging Liberty tbh

I try and try with them and just always end up feeling worse after any contact

Eg mil rang to see how I was after myomectmy (trust me very shocked ) I had 8 fibroids removed biggest 18 cm she said ah well I have the same but I just powered though the pain I don't like to make a fuss just get on with things me

It's just dig dig dig

I told him anyway I am done with them next time they can book themselves into comfort inn

fredfredgeorgejnrsnr Sat 28-Nov-15 22:13:12

Sounds like the DP was able to organise lunch (albeit by going out), but was waiting for DP to come home not because of wanting a slave but of wanting to eat with DP and "big son" *.

I also think most sane people "don't have enough time" to mop for their sibling, even if the only thing they're doing is staring in to space, but that really depends on how much in need of a mop it needed - and buying new sheets? It does seem like there was a lot of work being made for the whole affair that wasn't really necessary, like the lifts to a London, a place that is almost always easier by train, even on a Saturday.

* What a great name, I want a son to call them that!

Tamponlady Sat 28-Nov-15 22:17:06

Oliversmummy

The train were we are heads into central London ds attends school in outer London so it would tAke him hours to get home he would have to get a bus to. The station then head into central London before being able to get a connecting train to beds their is no direct line

We did look into this before we moved basically he wouldn't be home before 7 really most nights

And with his exams we just didn't think he would cope commenting is very stressful
It's not the morning journey it's the pick up after school to be fair oh dose do it some times but I would say about 80% it's me not long to go now

Tamponlady Sat 28-Nov-15 22:20:47

I don't want to give my location away but I can assure you on the journey front. I wouldn't be doing it if their was another way is Saturday's was fairly quick as no traffic about 40 minutes and tbh I wanted to give oh and his brother who is lives in another country some space.

Griphook Sat 28-Nov-15 22:30:52

Someone ringing me to hurry up
Would piss me off, why would he think that's it acceptable, I mean you're not really going to hang around so constant calling isn't going to make it quicker

Tamponlady Sat 28-Nov-15 22:36:32

Well that's what I though I can only do 70 on the moter way he knows approximately how long the journey takes I suspect his brothers were getting hungry I left at 11.40 and got back about 1:30

Or he had got carried about and told them I wouldn't be long I sometimes wonder quietly is he worth all the shit I have to put up with from his fucking hateful family I guess no matter what I do I will never be good enough

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