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To think that if you ask someone for a lift, you shouldn't dictate the time you pick them?

(51 Posts)
GlitteryRollers Sat 28-Nov-15 15:06:45

Had a text earlier from DB asking, and I quote "drop me in town at 7.50pm?"

Putting aside the the slightly rude tone of it, I wouldn't mind but I want to watch Strictly which doesn't finish till 8.05. I said I would pick him after Strictly had finished at about 8.15. I get a message back, "but I want to go at 7.50". Me: "I want to watch Strictly I will pick you up after its finished".
I then get another huffy text back "oh don't bother I'll just walk in the rain".

Unfortunately DB is used to DM dropping everything to ferry him around at night but she's away this weekend so can't and so obviously now he's asking me.

AIBU to have said this? I'm wondering if I'm being a bit tight and I don't mind doing this once in a blue moon, but I don't think its right to expect someone to change plans just like that?

Mouthfulofquiz Sat 28-Nov-15 15:08:01

I'd just say 'okay then' and leave it at that! Do you particularly want to go out in the rain to get him? Can't he wear a coat like anyone else?

Arfarfanarf Sat 28-Nov-15 15:09:46

Absolutely. Its fine to say yes i can take you but at x time which convenient for me.

Text back and say good choice. Have fun.

Thatll piss him off :D

Anomaly Sat 28-Nov-15 15:11:01

He's lucky you would give him a lift, I would have told him no at the first text!

GlitteryRollers Sat 28-Nov-15 15:14:52

I don't particuarly want to go out in the rain, no. In fact I was looking forward to a cosy night in watching the TV with a curry and a beer, I also know that if the boot were on the other foot he wouldn't come and pick me up.

SoWhite Sat 28-Nov-15 15:53:18

I don't think either is being unreasonable. Thats the time he needs to go, thats a time you can do.

Never mind, he's got legs. He won't die.

SoWhite Sat 28-Nov-15 15:53:42

Can't* do.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 28-Nov-15 15:54:51

Don't text him back, he'll be fine walking.

quietbatperson Sat 28-Nov-15 15:56:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone Sat 28-Nov-15 16:01:16

I think saying "could you please pick me up at 7.30?" Not the at he phrases it tho! Would be a reasonable request. But equally reasonable for you to say "actually I can't until 8.15 but I will then if you still want a lift". A reasonable adult would then either accept or decline politely.


Gruntfuttock Sat 28-Nov-15 16:04:34

No taxis/public transport in that area then?

Wolfiefan Sat 28-Nov-15 16:05:27

You say oh well sorry. Maybe next time!

BondJayneBond Sat 28-Nov-15 16:13:07

Nothing wrong with asking (politely) to have a lift at 7:50pm.

Equally, there's nothing wrong with you saying you can't give him a lift until 8:15pm.

The unreasonable bit is getting arsey because the lift won't be at the exact time that suits him. I certainly wouldn't be changing my plans to watch Strictly. A walk in the rain isn't likely to kill him.

GlitteryRollers Sat 28-Nov-15 16:13:56

Oh there are taxis and a bus stop five mins from his house, but why would he pay when can get a free lift eh?

GlitteryRollers Sat 28-Nov-15 16:21:56

Also, I wouldn't wven expect someone to give me lift into to town on a Saturday night, and certainly not one like tonight. I'd get a taxi!

Can't he walk? Even if he couldn't, has he had a manners bypass?

Gruntfuttock Sat 28-Nov-15 16:26:29

How old is he, OP?

lorelei9 Sat 28-Nov-15 16:38:01

Glittery, there's a bus stop 5 mins from "his" house?

so he's asking you for a lift and you don't even share a house? I mean, at least that way he could return favours, but ....? Have I misunderstood?

stay in and watch Strictly. I've been to the gym, I've run my errands, I plan to read, MN and watch TV now. Horrible outside.

DinosaursRoar Sat 28-Nov-15 16:38:26

Text back "ok, have fun, don't forget your brolly. x" - when people are trying guilt you into doing what they want, you clearly failing to see it always annoys them. You might get another 'woe is me' message about being cold and raining - do not at that point rise to it. You've offered a lift when you are free (after strictly). If that doesn't suit, he can find an alternative.

Good lesson for him if your mum normally runs round after him, if he wants someone to do him a favour, everyone else will expect to do it on their terms.

AyeAmarok Sat 28-Nov-15 16:42:36

Agree, a simple "Okay, good idea. Have a good night" will do.

Can't believe you even think you're BU!

He needs to learn the world doesn't revolve round him. It's an important life lesson, you're doing him a favour!

ifyoulikepinacolada Sat 28-Nov-15 16:44:11

You aren't being tight at all! He sounds like an entitled arse.

mumeeee Sat 28-Nov-15 16:52:48

Yanbu.You have offered to give your DB a lift at a time that suits you. If he's not happy with that he should just get a bus or taxi. In fact you do not have to give him a lift at all. I presume he's an adult.

ThomasRichard Sat 28-Nov-15 16:59:11

Is he 13?!

DoomGloomAndKaboom Sat 28-Nov-15 17:00:01

How old is this child?

LindyHemming Sat 28-Nov-15 17:10:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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