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To think a baby shower for baby no. 2 is a bit grabby?

(79 Posts)
CallaLilli Sat 28-Nov-15 09:43:55

I've just received an invite to a shower that a colleague is throwing herself for her second baby. With expensive gift list! I did go to her first shower, which also had an expensive gift list, but I think doing the same thing the second time around is a bit odd, and I'm probably going to decline the invitation.

I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of throwing yourself a baby shower (it's different if someone else wants to do it for you) and sending out a list of what you'd like. It just comes across as grabby. Though maybe it's understandable for DC1 but subsequent DCs? The gift list has outfits from Bonpoint on it, FFS!

She is having a girl this time (DC1 is a boy) and says she can't possibly use boys clothes etc for DD, so I guess that's her justification for the shower, but still...

Sleepingbunnies Sat 28-Nov-15 09:47:01

Hate baby showers. YANBU

ghnocci Sat 28-Nov-15 09:47:41

Yanbu. Unbelievably grabby.

TendonQueen Sat 28-Nov-15 09:48:22

Grabby. Say you're unfortunately busy that day. If you really feel you have to get a gift, get a children's Bible smile

noeffingidea Sat 28-Nov-15 09:52:22

If she really feels she can't reuse her first baby's clothes then she can buy some new ones herself, can't she?
She sounds entitled and grabby, to me. As if she expects a free ride through life.
I would decline, personally.

SarahSavesTheDay Sat 28-Nov-15 09:54:15

Tell her to fuck off.

IwishIwasinNewYork Sat 28-Nov-15 09:54:44

Baby showers are grabby full stop.

Absolutely cringeworthy.

I would think less of anyone who had one - thankfully none of my friends, family or colleagues ever had.

IwishIwasinNewYork Sat 28-Nov-15 09:55:06

Oh and what Sarah said

MamaLazarou Sat 28-Nov-15 09:56:38

My sister is pregnant with her fourth and has been asking on FB for someone to throw her a baby shower!

Solongtoshort Sat 28-Nov-15 09:57:03

Grabby to have a first, I think anyway. I have been to many. I have two dc and didn't have one for either of them. I declined offers for people to do s baby shower for me.

CrotchetQuaverMinim Sat 28-Nov-15 09:57:40

I come from a place where baby showers are common, but they are absolutely NOT things that you throw for yourself!

CasualJersey Sat 28-Nov-15 10:01:10

I hate them for many reasons but mostly they are hugely grabby !
decline asap

ilovehotsauce Sat 28-Nov-15 10:01:49

Hate babyshowers!

SanityClause Sat 28-Nov-15 10:03:08

Baby showers are an American thing, so they always seem a bit grabby in the UK, anyway. (Not because Americans are grabby! but because it's not a UK tradition.) And in America, a shower is held for the first child, only. (The rest get hand-me-downs, just like the rest of the world.) And it's not planned by the mother to be, but by friends and/or family.

Will it cause a problem for work if you don't go? Perhaps you could band together with other work colleagues to chip in for one of the items on the list.

Enjolrass Sat 28-Nov-15 10:08:10


My friend did this.

I didn't go to either. The first I genuinely couldn't go to. The second I just didn't go.

Both were thrown as a 'surprise' by her dh and her mums except the gift list was made up of the expensive stuff she chose.

Both times.

IwishIwasinNewYork Sat 28-Nov-15 10:11:54

I just cannot get my head round the audacity of a baby shower!

'I'm having a baby, can you all pay for the first year of it's life please?'

No fuck off.

CallaLilli Sat 28-Nov-15 10:12:37

Glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks showers are grabby! When I was pregnant with DD, said colleague couldn't understand why I didn't throw one for myself or have a pregnancy photo shoot (vomit) as all her friends had done it. I can't imagine many things tackier than those photo shoots tbh, but maybe I'm seen too many bad ones on Awkward Family Photos!

Redberrypie Sat 28-Nov-15 10:20:47

I don't mind baby showers for first babies (thrown by friends or family and without gift lists), they can be quite a nice thing to go to, but I think it becomes grabby when its for subsequent dc.

Don't go.

Bunbaker Sat 28-Nov-15 10:21:02

I have never been invited to a baby shower. I would love to get an invitation so that I can turn it down grin

IwishIwasinNewYork Sat 28-Nov-15 10:38:01

Dear Bunbaker

You are cordially invited to my pregnancy grabfest - bring tons of expensive baby items as I don't want to spend my own money on that shit.

We can eat tiny cakes with a mountain of disgustingly synthetic frosting on them while I regale you with a moment-by-moment account of my fascinating pregnancy. After all I am the first woman in the world to ever be up duffed.

Love, Iwish

AutumnLeavesArePretty Sat 28-Nov-15 10:38:14

Greedy and tacky with a first let alone subsequent children. Have always turned down invites to one as they are sadly getting more common.

noeffingidea Sat 28-Nov-15 10:39:55

bunbaker I think it's an age thing. I've never been to one either (or invited even).

sharonthewaspandthewineywall Sat 28-Nov-15 10:42:02

They are just pure crap for people who like the world to revolve around them I find. A colleague of mine had a three day one at centre parcs ffs but she really is a 'looooook at meeeeee' type

Bunbaker Sat 28-Nov-15 10:42:29


Sorry I'm busy grin

LonelySatsuma Sat 28-Nov-15 10:45:07

YANBU. First baby = fine. Its a 'rite of passage' type thing. I've been to some lovely ones, not tacky/grabby at all, really wonderful, emotional gathering of female friends etc.

Subsequent babies - NO.

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