My DH child lives with us, and he has an older DC who lives with exw and has basically cut all ties with us. Exw does not have any contact whatsoever with the child who lives with us, I do everything for DSC.
Anyways older child is in employment now, but DSC is still at school. AIBU to put a child maintenance claim in? The ex is just a horrible person and I can't help thinking that just because she has abandoned her child
That she shouldn't have to pay maintenance? I will be honest and I hold a serious grudge against this woman, purely for the way she has treated DSC. But myself and DH have spent years fighting the csa and eventually winning the case because we had shared care and proof of money handed over for years. She lied to them and told them the kids stayed 'three times a year if that' which I fully disproved. But I do feel a little resentful that we had all that grief for so long yet now she seems to get away Scot free. Not even so much as a birthday card for DSC. More infuriating that we only had to deal with the csa because she was committing benefit fraud for SEVEN YEARS which has only come to light recently because of her disloyal family members - but now I've looked into it i have discovered it's true (electoral roll for years after moving in with fiancé, csa actually saying how long she was a 'single parent' for - which was a definite slip up, and in all honesty I think they advised her to back off the last time she rang them)
I love my DSC and would work all the hours God sends for her - but I can't help feeling the horrible bitch should be held accountable in some way for her actions 
AIBU?
child maintenance
FrustratedStepMum · 27/11/2015 23:05
Would like to add there have been times when we have really struggled the past couple of years, and she had the cheek to slag us off for claiming the child benefit for DSC 
plastered it all over FB BUT told people we were actually claiming csa not child benefit lying twisted fucker
Yes, unfortunately before I started logging things he always just put the money in her hand. That's actually what he was doing the first time I ever saw her, she approached him on a night out demanding the kids needed shoes. Even though we had to buy stuff for them, she still demanded money then when it wasn't enough she phoned the csa (in a school holiday where I had them for TWO WEEKS) and lied about the regularity of stays. I just don't want to feel like I'm doing it for the wrong reasons IYSWIM, haven't claimed it so far really because the advisor said we each had one child and therefore it would probably even out, which is fine. However older child is now earning for themselves so I just don't see why she should get away with her appalling behaviour and not accept her responsibilities. I guarantee if the children's ages were opposite way round she would have been on the phone to child maintenance the second she found out about the job. I intend on DSC staying in education for as long as possible and I don't see why I should struggle because she's made our lives fucking hell.
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