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AIBU?

To wonder why this woman was staring at us?

102 replies

imwithspud · 27/11/2015 22:50

It was really odd. In sainsburys cafe at lunch time. Me, my dnan and my two dd's (3 & 6months). We were sitting at the table, 3 of us eating lunch, I fed dd2 at one point, then we sat chatting, minding our own business whilst we finished our drinks and dd1 are her snowman biscuit treat thing. Sometime during the meal a woman and her 2 dc's sits at the table next to us, didn't pay her much mind, until I noticed her staring, well more like glaring at us. At first I ignored it and assumed I had happened to catch her gaze. Carried on minding my own business. Then we were getting ready to leave and again I noticed her staring again, I'm pretty sure she even gave me there 'up and down' look, I was concerned that I might have spilt something down my top but I hadn't. She even stared at us as we were walking to the trolley bay and whilst we were getting our trolley.

I know it shouldn't but It's been bugging me all day wondering why she was so obviously glaring at us and what we could have done to have caused her to do that, we weren't being loud, dd1 was sitting nicely in her chair, dd1 was on my lap. I wish I had said something at the time but I'm really not a confrontational person and I felt quite intimidated by it actually. I also didn't want to cause a scene in front of the children.

Not really sure why I'm posting this, some people are just strange aren't they?

OP posts:

Report

ginagslovechild · 27/11/2015 22:51

Maybe she thought you were someone else?

ElasticPants · 27/11/2015 22:53

That is buzzard. Maybe you look like someone she knows and does not like?

One of dhs friends took an instant dislike to me when we met. It turned out I reminded him of an ex. It was his issue not mine.

ElasticPants · 27/11/2015 22:53

bizzare not buzzard fucking phone

Gileswithachainsaw · 27/11/2015 22:53

perhaps he was waiting for it all to kick.off so she wasn't the only one dealing with whiney kids?

you probably just looked like some one she knows or used to know and she's trying to work out of its who she thinks it is

or you had a cleptomanic baby shoving stuff in her nappy

OddlyLogical · 27/11/2015 22:56

Maybe you reminded her of someone.
Maybe she thought she knew you.
Maybe it was your imagination.
Maybe she liked what you were wearing.
If she had 2 kids with her, she can't have spent that much time staring at you.
Don't over think it.

imwithspud · 27/11/2015 22:57

That's a point about her maybe thinking I'm someone else. I definitely didn't recognise her.

It was an experience, I've never had a stranger give me daggers so openly before. Kicking myself now for not calmly saying "can I help you?" As I really want to know what her deal was

OP posts:

Pedestriana · 27/11/2015 22:58

Some people are really strange!

Although I remember many years ago being out at a cafe with my friend. A woman a few tables away (empty ones in between) kept staring at us. Every time I looked up from the table or away from my friend, this woman was staring. I'm ashamed to say that in the end I shouted "What? Why do you keep looking at us?" loudly at her. She got up, paid, and left.

imwithspud · 27/11/2015 22:59

Honestly I definitely wasn't imagining it, my dnan even noticed and she can be quite oblivious to things.

Im just curious is all, but I guess now I'll never know!

OP posts:

Lancelottie · 27/11/2015 22:59

Were you feeding DD in one of these hats?

imwithspud · 27/11/2015 23:00

No but I kind of wish I did now, I could have put it down to that.

OP posts:

Hobbes8 · 27/11/2015 23:03

I remember a woman glaring furiously at me on the tube on the way home from a night out. I was around 7 months pregnant at the time, but other than that there was nothing distinguishing about me. We'd been to a concert and were going home. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. It was really weird.

GruntledOne · 27/11/2015 23:07

How did you feed dd2? If it was bottle feeding she may have disapproved, if it was breastfeeding she might have been one of the "OMG why is she being so indiscreet, blahdy feminist" mob.

VulcanWoman · 27/11/2015 23:09

If I catch someone staring at me more than a couple of times I don't look at them again, they're being odd so don't want anymore to do with it. I noticed someone on the bus once staring at someone else, they seemed to have some kind of compulsion to do it, luckily I don't think the other person noticed, they had their head in their phone.

AgentZigzag · 27/11/2015 23:11

If I think (or know) someone's blatantly staring at me (which is different to someone 'resting' their gaze because it feels like their eyes are boring into you) I just look behind me then back at them as if to see what they're looking at.

If they carry on staring then just stare right back and they soon look away.

Like you say OP, having someone stare at you can feel intimidating which is why people don't do it as a rule.

Try to lean towards positive reasons why, maybe she liked what you were wearing and was thinking how it'd look on her?

AgentZigzag · 27/11/2015 23:14

Have I missed something with those beanies Lance? I mean, why would you?

VulcanWoman · 27/11/2015 23:16

Gruntled do feminist not agree with women breastfeeding then? Genuine question, I usually stay away from the feminist boards so haven't heard any discussion about it.

VulcanWoman · 27/11/2015 23:19

Those hats are hilarious.

AgentZigzag · 27/11/2015 23:21

I took Gruntled to mean it as 'OMG why is she being so indiscreet, [who do those] blahdy feminist [s think they are foisting BF on the general public]'.

HoneyDragon · 27/11/2015 23:21

Was she definitely glaring at you? Or just looking at you with resting bitch face?

Samcro · 27/11/2015 23:23

maybe
you just look really good.....and she was 'omg look at her with small child"

SiegeofEnnis · 27/11/2015 23:24

No, she means that those hostile to public breastfeeding are often derided as 'feminist'.

OP, I've certainly had hostile stares, in some cases followed up with remarks, or actual questions about why I was FFing, when I formula-fed my baby in cafes. Was it that?

AgentZigzag · 27/11/2015 23:24

I've got a resting bitch face, which I don't mind as it stops anyone talking to me unsolicited

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Rainbunny · 27/11/2015 23:26

Any chance you may have said something in conversation during your lunch that she overheard and thought was rude or insulting in some way?

Whenever I see a woman wearing something that I think looks good, I might discreetly stare a little trying to guess the label or brand. My DH caught me doing that one time and asked why I was glaring at some woman, apparently my discreet stare looks more like an angry glare!

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 27/11/2015 23:27

Did you steal her table?
Are you famous?
Were you breastfeeding?

I once had a woman glaring at me in a John Lewis cafe as I was sat in the corner minding my own business discreetly feeding dc3. Then she got up and walked past the table and hissed "That's DISGUSTING"

Luckily for her I had 3 very small children with me one of whom was attached to my boob or I'd have chased after her and given her a piece of my mind.

cleaty · 27/11/2015 23:27

Sounds like a case of mistaken identity.

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