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...to ask what child you imagined verses what child you actually got! (Lighthearted)

(70 Posts)
Flamingo1980 Fri 27-Nov-15 21:12:28

I was just musing to myself that before I had my daughter I imagined I would have some courageous, nature loving, tomboy who loved cuddles and would spend hours watching cartoons with me. I imagined endless swimming trips and farms.
I also assumed as (as I was told) that she would be really hard work as all children are apparently. How wrong I was!!
I have ended up with a girlie, baby obsessed little scardie cat who hates nature and cuddles. She won't watch tv and just wants to fuss over her dollies. Constantly. She doesn't like swimming and is terrified of farmyard animals. She is, however the easiest child I have ever heard of and has made motherhood a breeze, physically. I feel really lucky but she's not what I expected at all...!
I'm curious now, did you lot expect and then got??

rageagainsttheBIL Fri 27-Nov-15 21:19:20

I didn't have many expectations of what my child would be like but I was SURE I'd be a wonderful, easygoing, gentle but effective parent, that would never bribe, cajole, shout at my child, find parenting boring, and would NEVER find myself in a situation where I didn't know what the fuck to do.

Ha.

Yarboosucks Fri 27-Nov-15 21:20:16

I have to admit that I got the child of my dreams! I lost my first at 20 weeks and made a deal with the universe that if I could have just one child I would be happy. I hoped for a boy (tick! but would have been just as happy with a girl), that we would be close (tick), that he would love a hug (tick), even when he is 16 and 6' 3" (big tick!), kind, clever, open, generous, sporty (tick, tick, tick, tick!) and handsome (tick!). I am shameless in my overwhelming joy that one dream actually came true!

Andrewofgg Fri 27-Nov-15 21:22:07

Yarboosucks Tears in my eyes. Well done you!

Yarboosucks Fri 27-Nov-15 21:23:24

Andrew me too now!

BrandNewAndImproved Fri 27-Nov-15 21:26:01

I was the opposite of you op.

As I was a tom boy growing up I really wanted a girly girl. My dd had a pink princess bedroom, pretty dresses, accessories ect ect. She didn't turn out like that.. She wanted to be a boy, her favourite colour even now is either orange or blue. She refused to wear a dress for years, she plays rugby and football and spent her younger years following boys around to pursude them to climb up trees with her.

She has however always liked painting her nails grin

toriap2 Fri 27-Nov-15 21:26:09

I have the opposite. I thought I would have a daughter who would do ballet, wear pretty dresses and let me style her hair. I have a rugby playing, army cadet who hates dresses but gives amazing hugs and is the kindest, sweetest girl imaginable.

imgoingdowntown Fri 27-Nov-15 21:27:02

I had a feeling I was having a girl all through the pregnancy and then my son was born in all his gorgeousness. Loads of spiky hair and 9lbs of boyish charm. He is just such a boy and loves rough and tumble. I wouldnt change it for
The world

Yarboosucks Fri 27-Nov-15 21:28:14

Funny, I was convinced I was having a girl, took we weeks to get over the fact that i grew a willy!

MsVestibule Fri 27-Nov-15 21:30:48

I never really expected to become a parent, so don't think I really had any expectations of what my children would be like. However, I was definitely going to be a lovely, calm, rational, patient, non-shouty parent - pretty much the opposite of my own mum.

Take a wild guess...

Strokethefurrywall Fri 27-Nov-15 21:33:28

I never imagined what their personalities would be like, other than the knowledge that I knew that would cause me utter grief because I did the same to my parents, but I did imagine what they would look like.

I pictured a small dark haired newborn, with lovely olive skin. Basically a very cute South American looking baby (I'm mixed heritage) - I got a black haired, black eyed hairless monkey of a baby who looked absolutely nothing like me. Seriously, if I'd not just pushed him out of my body I wouldn't have believed he was mine. Fair skinned, black fine hair all over his body only the fairest eyelashes and eyebrows. So basically a hairless monkey. Who of course now looks exactly like me.

DS2 however, came out looking exactly like I imagined DS1 would. Small, bald, ridiculously long eyelashes and looking exactly like me when I was born. He now looks nothing like me and still has the biggest eyes I've ever seen in my life. He looks like a damn Disney character.

But personality wise, they deliver exactly what I figured a 4 year old and 20 month old boy would. Mayhem, giggles, hugs, utter mischief, fearlessness, farts, willies and bums.

Hoppinggreen Fri 27-Nov-15 21:35:37

I thought DD would be a small, dark haired confident, bright child.
She's tall blonde and shy but I got the bright part right.
DS is exactly how I expected him to be but I didn't imagine I would adore him as much as I do ( didn't want a boy, suffered from PnD with DD so didn't bond with her for a while)

Strangertides1 Fri 27-Nov-15 21:36:21

I didn't think I thought as far as toddler-hood, although I never imagine the terrible trantums, the answering back from a three year old. But I did imagine a baby who slept through after 4 wks, and I a beautiful well rested mother, HA! Three years was the magic number, grey hairs, dark circles, cut my hair off to 'make life easilier', it's now a constant mess, as is the rest of me. So why on earth am I doing it for the second time. Hangs head in hands.

Strokethefurrywall Fri 27-Nov-15 21:38:16

Errr, just to clarify, I don't look like a hairless monkey....

Strangertides1 Fri 27-Nov-15 21:37:54

Or should I say third time. Even my brain is fried.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Fri 27-Nov-15 21:40:50

I was convinced ds was going to be a girl...

Then I was convinced I would have two boys.

Wrong both times!

Flamingo1980 Fri 27-Nov-15 21:41:22

Ha oh yes interesting about everyone's expectations of what they would be like as mothers too! I thought I'd be an organic earth mother type but that I'd probably be stressy with no control.
I'm not the above. Because she's easy I let her eat chocolate and sweeties and I'm a chilled out mother with good control over her. But only because she's laid back otherwise I'm sure I'd be yelling my throat dry! I'm not smug, I'm just bloody surprised!!

TeenAndTween Fri 27-Nov-15 21:41:33

We adopted.
At that point pretty much all preconceptions go out of the window.

Anyway, all the way through the process I imagined 2 boys, or one of each.
Imagine my surprise when somehow we adopted 2 girls. grin

Scoopmuckdizzy Fri 27-Nov-15 21:43:36

When I was pregnant with DS1 I always imagined he'd have dark hair. DH and I are both fair but I was born with dark hair so I just assumed he would too. I also thought of him as being quite delicate but he was completely solid when he arrived and has kept his stickiness. I then imagined DS2 being just like DS1 but was much smaller and did have dark hair- pretty much exactly how I had imagined DS1.

Scoopmuckdizzy Fri 27-Nov-15 21:44:19

*stockiness

Aeroflotgirl Fri 27-Nov-15 21:44:58

Disclaimer: I love dd with all my heart. I was expecting, a bright academic all rounder. I got a dd with ASD and learning difficulties.

ghostyslovesheep Fri 27-Nov-15 21:45:31

I did NOT think I would turn into the gin soaked, exhausted, ratty manic single parent I am

I'd imagined being something out of a catalogue rather than something off JK

HumphreyCobblers Fri 27-Nov-15 21:46:19

I imagined dark haired children as both DH and I have nearly black hair. I got three blonde children. It still seems strange! One of them has blue eyes too.

Personality wise I imagined more compliant children than the ones I got. grin

Finallyonboard Fri 27-Nov-15 21:47:01

My DD is better than I could ever have imagined. She hates soft play but loves chatting over a cuppa (she's four). She is the joy of my lifetime.

LonelySatsuma Fri 27-Nov-15 21:48:50

I hd no expectations with DC1 (couldn't even imagine my baby being a boy or girl let alone having a personality!)....except I thought he'd be quite dark skinned, afro hair etc (I'm white, DH is black) but he came out pale olive-skinned with straight black hair and people mostly mistake him for Turkish, Brazilian, all sorts... grin.

I thought DD would look the same, but she came out blonde shock. Again, i had no real expectations. But I certainly didn't get the princess everyone else seemed to imagine (I wasn't fussed, but had lots of 'oh, you've got yur girl now! Shopping trips and dollies etc' hmm). She is a complete action kid - into football, tennis, swimming and gymnastics, couldn't care less about Barbies and dresses. She rocks grin.

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