Advanced search

AIBU for not changing my day out with DD so friend can come

(87 Posts)
NeedSomePeaceAndQuite Fri 27-Nov-15 20:54:30

I have a 3 yo DD and have booked for us to go to a winter wonderland type thing in December before the schools break up so it won't be as busy hopefully I've already got our tickets and paid extra for her to meet Santa and I'm really looking forward to a day just the two of us.

Now my DFriend knows we're going and has decided that her DD would love to go so I should change mine and DDs tickets to go on a day when her DD has broken up from school then I can drive them both with me and we can all go together but I've said no. I purposely choose a date that I think would be better for me and DD and don't want to go when the schools have broken up so just going to keep my tickets and have a daughter day with my DD

She is not happy, apparently I'm depriving her DD of a day out she would love when I could easily change my dates and my DD would enjoy it more having someone else there

So AIBU refusing to change mine and DDs tickets ?

Mrsmorton Fri 27-Nov-15 20:57:27


I wouldn't, although I don't have children but YANBU.

ProcrastinatorGeneral Fri 27-Nov-15 20:57:51

No you're not. Your friend isn't interested in your daughter's happiness, just your taxi impression.

Go and enjoy it when it's quieter smile

MrsGentlyBenevolent Fri 27-Nov-15 20:57:40

No, she's trying to emotionally blackmail you for a free lift. I think you're being very sensible trying to avoid the crowds - plus you obviously just want to enjoy the day with just the two of you. Stand firm, don't be guilted into it.

londonrach Fri 27-Nov-15 20:58:19

Yanbu. Stick to your plans op x

80sMum Fri 27-Nov-15 20:59:17

Do your own thing, OP. YANBU.

FellOffMyUnicorn Fri 27-Nov-15 20:59:47

just tell her that you cant change the tickets

Hygge Fri 27-Nov-15 21:00:22

No, she's being unreasonable.

She can take her own DD. Can she not drive or something?

Either way, YANBU. Stick to your original plans.

PennyHasNoSurname Fri 27-Nov-15 21:01:09

She doesnt sound like much of a friend. Please do not budge on this!

MythicalKings Fri 27-Nov-15 21:01:23


rosieliveson1 Fri 27-Nov-15 21:03:13

No way should you change. Going together is a nice idea but you've planned the date as it suits you best so you intend to stick with it. That's fair enough. You aren't depriving her daughter of anything as providing her daughter with experiences is not your responsibility.

Bigpants4 Fri 27-Nov-15 21:03:40

Just tell her you want to go b4 the schools break up as otherwise it will be too busy.

Pico2 Fri 27-Nov-15 21:04:43

YANBU I wish we were still I the preschool period when we could go to places without the crowds. In your position, I wouldn't swap for a day in the holidays if you paid me.

DoreenLethal Fri 27-Nov-15 21:04:45

Oh poor her - how dreadfully mean of you to deprive her of a day out.


Don't tell her you can't change the tickets, tell her that you have chosen to go specifically because nobody else will be going.

Lindy2 Fri 27-Nov-15 21:04:53

Your friend is being rude. No way should you feel obliged to change your plans because she wants to invite herself along. Stick with what you planned and have a lovely day.

ShamefulPlaceMarker Fri 27-Nov-15 21:06:31


She sounds very selfish, and just wants a lift! Tough if she can't do it off her own steam. There are many things people can't do because of their circumstances. Doesn't mean they can make those around them feel guilty if they can!

starry0ne Fri 27-Nov-15 21:07:13

It sounds like you have told her don't discuss it again..I do not think you are BU at all...

THe no is a complete sentence sprngs to mind here

Pipestheghost Fri 27-Nov-15 21:07:51

Yanbu, sounds like she just wants a free ride.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Fri 27-Nov-15 21:08:41

She was a bit cheeky, but not entirely unreasonable to ask - but she is very unreasonable to be kicking off because you said no!

Twistedheartache Fri 27-Nov-15 21:12:42

Def not bu- who in their right mind would voluntarily go to something in the school hols if they had the option not to!

tillytown Fri 27-Nov-15 21:15:28

Yanbu, plus I doubt you can change the date on your tickets anyway.

Fizrim Fri 27-Nov-15 21:18:03

YANBU. She, on the other hand, is perhaps not in possession of her full health if she expects you to change to a busier day for her convenience. It's her job to entertain her own child, not yours.

PurpleGreenAvocado Fri 27-Nov-15 21:18:34

YANBU, however your friend is.

NeedSomePeaceAndQuite Fri 27-Nov-15 21:18:23

Thanks everyone I was starting to think I was being a bit harsh about this

I didn't know I could change my tickets but apparently DF said In a text message that I can for a small fee which I'm sure she would expect me to pay

She can't drive that's why she wants me to take her and it's not somewhere to get to easily on public transport

I'm not going to change the date, me and DD will enjoy it more if it's a little quieter and I have really been looking forward to a day just the two of us. There's so much going on over Christmas that involve lots of people so will be nice to do something just the two of us

Pepperpot123 Fri 27-Nov-15 21:20:24

Your friend just wants everyone to dance to her tune, have a day out with your dd as planed. You are not responsible for her dd happiness or a day out!

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: