Having for show items in the house...

[Unreasonablebetty]

I might be being a bit... Or a lot U,
But I like to buy certain things for show,
Like I've got certain tea towels, for show.
Certain knives to show
Towels to show,
Cushions also to show.

We have slightly less pretty versions of all these things that are for use, but I do like to keep some things looking nice, like the tea towels that hang in the kitchen and bathroom that look nice and crisp,

I just bought new cushions that were only put on the sofa today. My husband came home and flopped down in his paint covered work clothes, took his boots and socks off, and tried to use one of my new cushions as a footrest.
Not five foot away is a perfectly good foot rest. But he wants to use my cushions.
This set me off, squealing like a banshee that his sweaty smelly feet do not belong on my new cushions, in fact they were moved away so DD didn't cost them in felt tip. And why is he laying on one of them?

He thinks it's U to have cushions that he can't lay on, or rub his feet all over,
I think it's perfectly fine, there are other cushions too, another 6 or 7 in total in the living room, but he surely shouldn't expect to rub his feet on my cushions?? No one wants foot smelling cushions surrounding them??
I might be being quite pedantic, and it might just be that other stuff he does is getting to me, but this is really annoying me as when it gets cold I love to make the house homely and buy nice new cushions and generally nicer for us, and he seems to lack respect for our home.
It's not like he didn't know that I have for show items, I've always been the same the five years I've known him.

Is it that mad to say, them few cushions are for you to pick up sit with on your lap or on the floor, but they're love hearts, I don't want you distorting the shape??

[FabergeEggs]

Are you Liz Jones?

[TurnOffTheTv]

What's the point of making it homely and nice if you daren't touch something incase you're not allowed? That's not very homely

[Frostycake]

Ive never understood keeping things 'for best.' Surely it would be better to simply live in your house with things you love?

[gamerchick]

I totally understand OP. My bedding matches and the beds are dressed each day. No heads must touch the top pillows but all must be turned over to the sleeping pillows beneath.

You need either seperate houses or seperate bedrooms trust me. Having your own bedroom really helps with that thing that makes you Yelp.

[Unreasonablebetty]

Who's Liz Jones?

No I get that, and that's what makes me feel like maybe I've been a bit U- but I still think he lacks respect, I could probably ignore the lying in cushions, I could shake them out to get their shape back, but who rubs their feet on cushions?
Maybe it's just getting to me that he has no idea what it costs for these things (admittedly not that much) but they're another thing I've bought that there's no respect for.

[TurnOffTheTv]

Exactly Frosty. My family have all sorts of beautiful glasses, crockery etc that never gets used, stuffed away in cupboards. I use my beatiful things all the time because I want to see them!

[TurnOffTheTv]

He lacks respect?for a cushion? Is there a backstory to this?
If it's your husband surely it's joint money?

[Mysteryfla]

My Mum always kept things for "best". Dad used to ask her if the Queen came would she be best enough. We used everything for Mums funeral, she was the best, but what a waste in her lifetime.

[VestaCurry]

Who are you showing them to?

[Unreasonablebetty]

Frostycake- I can understand that, but with my DH, it kind of has to be don't touch or it gets ruined. He's always been the same, even with his clothes.

[TurnOffTheTv]

Is he the hulk?

[Unreasonablebetty]

Gamer chick- I'm a bit envious! I used to have a nice bed with lots of lovely pillows, when we got together he won the battle of the bedroom and he decided only pillows that we sleep on, and it's all completely different now.

Turnoff the TV- no I don't expect him to respect a cushion, the whole house as a whole, yes that'd be great. And no not really, when much of the furniture in this house was bought before we got married, and he never put his hand in his pocket for, quite a few of the things I have I had to save for, and he comes in and treats it a bit like a doss house. there is a bit of a backstory, but you know it's more than possible I'm overly het up about this, but I do feel like I've gone out and got stuff to make the house nicer and he's ruining it.
Vesta- well not anyone in particular, but I think it's important that the house doesn't look tired if people come to visit.

[Unreasonablebetty]

Turnoff the TV- oh so you've met??
Well your half right, he is a big lad, and he comes home in a bit of a state most days. He's a builder so he tends to come home covered in something, today it was paint and he just plonks himself down in the living room in his work clothes

[ohtheholidays]

No I wouldn't want anyone rubbing they're feet smelly or not onto cushions.

My Dad and Brothers worked on building sites(most of the males in my family did when I was growing up)as soon as they got home they'd all have a shower or a bath and get changed into clean clothes.

DH always did the same as soon as he got in,thank god as he'd stick of gun oil(Police officer)and the smell was unbearable when I was pregnant.

I know what you mean about having things for show some of the women in my family did the same.I don't I just give the 5DC the eye if they look like they're about to ruin something nice I've bought for the house.DH has learned how to behave in the house now

[ohtheholidays]

Stink not stick

[steff13]

You keep knives for show? Towels, cushions, etc., are decor. Knives are tools. Why would you use second best tools?

[steakpunararemediumwelldone]

Sometimes, I sit around and wonder if I sweat the small stuff too much. Then I come on mumsnet and see people worrying about feet on cushions and show knives getting ruined and I realise that I am up worrying at 1.30am for no good reason.

[Postchildrenpregranny]

IME most men hate cushions and don't see the point of them . (esp heart shaped ones)
Do you just whip out posh tea towels etc when people visit? Like you (I ) might when you are trying to sell?
I find this bizarre I must admit . A house is home not a show piece .
But my Dad worked on a farm and always went up to wash and shave before dinner/ relaxing ,so I can understand your being miffed about work clothes

[pinotblush]

Mrs Bucket

[StarkyTheDirewolf]

I completely understand, I have things for best and for show, if I didn't, I'd have nothing left. Dh is like the hulk also and breaks, on average, two pieces of crockery a week, plus other things, he doesn't realise his own strength, and doesn't understand that I want things a certain way, ie, not fucked

When we got the new couch nobody was allowed to sit on it for a week, I'm not kidding either! Because sweaty, smelly feet, farting, food spilling etc, he wiped his hands on the headrest the other week after eating crisps and I thought my face might explode with annoyed!

[AcrossthePond55]

Totally understand! My DH and 2 sons are bulls in a china shop. It seems that nothing can be kept 'nice' around our house, what with dirty feet and clothes, 'flopping' on furniture, and roughhousing. I also have 'nice things' that I set aside to use when company comes. It's easier to just switch things out when company comes than to nag and complain about keeping the everyday things 'nice'.

[mathanxiety]

He needs to be asked why he does this and if you haven't told him already then you should tell him how much it upsets you to see your home full of things you bought treated like a flop house. He shouldn't sit down on the couch in paint covered clothes. I had a farming grandfather and he wouldn't wear his farm clothes in the house, or his farm boots. Your DH should head straight for the bathroom when he comes home.

YAB a bit U about the show stuff though. Buy practical things that look pleasing to you and use them, keep them as clean as possible, and don't bother about 'show'.

[HoomanBean]

Whilst I believe a home is for living in abd household items are for using, there is no way in he'll I would let anyone plonk down on my sofa in paint covered work clothes. And to rub feet over cushions is just totally unacceptable. Who does that?!
Cushions are for putting your head or your face on or shoving behind your back. Noon wants to rub their cheeks onto something that's been used as a sock!

[Writtenbyme]

You are being unreasonable to have things in show that can't be used.

He is being unreasonable to sit down in dirty, paint covered work clothes. He should wash and change if he comes home messy.

[BoomBoomsCousin]

Having things on show that you don't actually use is a bit bonkers to me. But at the same time your DH shouldn't be ruining things like cushions just by using them . That's kind of outrageous and might drive me to doing bonkers things too. So YANBU after all.