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To think that there is a serious lack of perspective on mn now to the point it is not actually possible to have a decent discussion any more?

(473 Posts)
wannaBe Thu 26-Nov-15 14:29:16

Yes, thread inspired by lots of threads but provoked by the flaming I have just had on one in particular. But not a thread about that particular thread.

It seems lately that it is impossible to have an actual discussion on mn without someone either misinterpreting, misreading, twisting, or generally overreacting to everything

Example: poster starts a lighthearted thread about something which it should be obvious that it is lighthearted. A few posts in someone decides to take it very seriously and give the op a flaming. A few more posts in and someone suggests the thread title should be edited by mn hq to ensure people realise it's lighthearted, even though the subject was something like "ibu to burn the house down because I found a spider in the bathroom?" <disclaimer that wasn't an actual thread title afaik but I've seen ones as ridiculous as that one which were evidently lighthearted.>

Or: "ibu to think it's the end of the world because dh ate the chocolate?" response: "there are children dying in the world how dare you even post about chocolate," meant very seriously.

And yes, on the thread I was just on, recounting an incident 35 years ago where my cousin sent out fake invitations to a party unbeknowns to his parents and children turned up. shock obviously mortifying at the time but 35 years on it's something that his friends remember and laugh at, something which was brought up in his best man's wedding speech, and yes, something which 35 years on is amusing in a "OMG his parents were mortified," way. And yet I have just been told I am sick in the head for finding children's utter devastation over a party they didn't attend 35 years ago amusing.

Mn has always been supportive but has also always had a reputation for being amusing, funny, lighthearted etc, but it is rapidly losing that reputation IMO.

OurBlanche Thu 26-Nov-15 14:35:32

Oh, LTB, ODFOD, YABU, FOTFSOFATFOSM (I think), are you on glue? grin

I do know what you mean, have been on the sharp end of some posts and pms and am, frankly, horrified by some of the responses on some threads.

My favorite at the moment is a demand for an update... very peremptory... treating the OPs story as personal amusement and entertainment. I have managed not to respond, this time!

PaulAnkaTheDog Thu 26-Nov-15 14:38:30

Mumsnet is filled with sanctimonious gits at the moment. Nasty, aggressive gits. Lots of gits.

Helmetbymidnight Thu 26-Nov-15 14:39:25

I would hate to be the sort of person who says 'MN isn't as funny as it used to be' but yes, MN isn't as funny as it used to be.

I like a differing opinions pile-in, but sometimes there can be a snidey, superior tone that I don't like, especially when its directed at a harmless OP.

thequickbrownfox Thu 26-Nov-15 14:40:39

There are a few massive arseholes about, that much is true. They're best ignored, I find, but YANBU in observing the general quality of conversation having gone down because of the kind of posting you're describing. What's worse is the gaggle of fans who swoop in to galvanise the arseholes, it's pathetic. Glad to get that off my chest grin.

DawnOfTheDoggers Thu 26-Nov-15 14:40:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

U2HasTheEdge Thu 26-Nov-15 14:42:36

This place is just weird lately.

More weirder than normal.

People making fights out of thin air.

thequickbrownfox Thu 26-Nov-15 14:43:31

I'm not so much bothered by those posters - it's the little gangs of bullies piling onto OPs like its some kind of blood sport. They're just so uncivilised.

exexpat Thu 26-Nov-15 14:44:06

I don't think it is such a new phenomenon - for as long as I've been on MN (waaaay too long…) I have noticed that in every thread complaining about batty/irritating/horrendous behaviour by mothers/mothers-in-law/partners/children, you can guarantee that someone will come along and say, "well, my mother/mother-in-law/partner/child died X years ago and I would give anything to be irritated by him/her one last time, so you should all shut up and think yourselves lucky" or something along those lines.

I was just reading a thread about children who won't shut up, and I was wondering how long it would be before someone whose child can't talk (because of learning disabilities etc) would pop up and say 'be grateful they can talk at all' - and sure enough someone did.

I can see the temptation - my husband died when the children were little, and it has crossed my mind occasionally, when I see threads complaining about some petty aspect of not-so-DHs' interaction with DCs, that they are lucky their irritating other halves are there to see the children grow up, but I resist the temptation to actually post that.

Sparklingbrook Thu 26-Nov-15 14:44:50

There are some right arseholes on here at the moment. Lots with agendas too-the merail brigade.

PaulAnkaTheDog Thu 26-Nov-15 14:46:18

Agreed Fox.

Yabu
Yabu
Yabu
Ok, thanks. IABU, I see that now.
YAbU
Yabu
Yabu! What a horrible, disgusting person you are.
Yabu! So nasty!
Etc....

brittanyfairies Thu 26-Nov-15 14:56:57

I completely agree, there are some real sanctimonious arseholes around at the moment.

It's very frustrating, because we used to get a well-rounded argument on MN, but now there seem to be so many truly aggressive people just busting for a fight, but being really nasty with it. There is very little empathy these days on the board. You're either right or you're wrong, and if someone is wrong, then the majority of the time you have to be aggressive and nasty when you tell them.

Sometimes I think Mumsnet has lost its intelligence and wit. I can't remember the last time I cried with laughter over a funny, well articulated thread. Or read a debate where both points of view were presented clearly and articulately. Those were the threads I used to adore on Mumsnet.

WhereYouLeftIt Thu 26-Nov-15 15:02:50

Oh fuck, YESSSSSSS! SO many arseholes here lately.

wannaBe Thu 26-Nov-15 15:02:29

yes agree it's the level of aggression on here. Mn has always had a reputation for being somewhat robust in delivery of opinions but it's reached a new low.

So we no longer just get the response of "yabu," now we get, "yabu, and a cunt." shock there really is no need.

Owllady Thu 26-Nov-15 15:02:33

It was a full moon last night wannabe
It's not very nice saying to someone are you sick in the head, is it? sad

I think sometimes pull you up with the best intentions (which is fine) but I do wince a bit at some of the comments which are just there to incite a reaction or prove a point (usually over something trivial)

Incidentally I actually have a hand written note on my fridge to a girl's birthday party for my youngest son. I keep looking at it like this confused I'm not sure whether it's real or not!

Thaisa Thu 26-Nov-15 15:08:42

YANBU. I agree, it's getting harder to have a civilised exchange of views without it descending into a slanging match.

Mumsnet is filled with sanctimonious gits at the moment It really is and, as a result, I don't visit anywhere near as often as I used to.

There was an ace thread on Chat yesterday on battles with inanimate objects. I had a good laugh reading that but it made me realise how rare it is to have a genuinly funny thread these days.

ofallthenerve Thu 26-Nov-15 15:09:42

Yanbu - there seems to be at least one aggressive arse hole per thread atm who just cannot even make an attempt to see the grey areas of an argument. Not sure this is a terribly new phenomenon on MN though...

ofallthenerve Thu 26-Nov-15 15:09:55

There was a snort laugh out loud tread a while ago about a male prostitute though. Loved it.

kali110 Thu 26-Nov-15 15:12:11

Yanbu at all.
There are some vile posters on here.
Only yesterday i was told i should be sectioned if i can't be without my dh because i dared to disagree hmm
But this is a supportive place!

DonkeyOaty Thu 26-Nov-15 15:13:23

Being kind has fallen out of fashion <glum>

Ofc being funny hasn't and TFFT. [Acts like Beaker and makes it all me-me-me]

IsabellaofFrance Thu 26-Nov-15 15:14:51

Its like a hang out for the prefects at a really well-to-do Grammar School.

No one can have fun, nothing can be light hearted. Everything must be serious and grown up and dull.

EnthusiasmDisturbed Thu 26-Nov-15 15:15:39

I don't think it is anything new

I think you start to become more aware of what threads will turn out that way and stay away. some I am still surprised at, how the You're So Vain thread turned last week took me by surprise hmm

there are a few sheep on here one starts and others join in its pathetic and it causes some to leave which is a shame as mn can be so supportive

wol1968 Thu 26-Nov-15 15:19:47

We need a Big Purple Joke emoticon for all those posters challenged in the humour department. wink

And a flameproof elephant hide suit to pull on whenever we decide to remove the Michael from said posters.

And plenty of wine and cake to fortify us while we're doing it.

VocationalGoat Thu 26-Nov-15 15:20:55

I hear you OP. Oh! I'll get flamed for saying "I hear you" because it's a saying someone (everyone) hates.
Everyone is offended. So many could start a row in an empty room. Lots of anger too little banter.

KeepOnMoving1 Thu 26-Nov-15 15:22:52

Yanbu, there are certain 'off limit' topics and you will get the pile in of 'not this again', 'haven't had one in a few weeks' type comments.

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