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Miffed that I'm not invited to the Christmas do

(29 Posts)
ScrambledEggAndToast Wed 25-Nov-15 22:05:54

I have a very strange job. I'm basically in a department of 1 ie me. No-one seems to know or care what I do even though I've told them about 3 million times. Because of being in a department of one, I'm not in any of the group emails ie the nurses/doctors/secretaries/appointment co-ordinators etc all have their own mailing lists. I've been there 3.5 years and been forgotten every single time when the christmas night out is arranged. It's so hurtful and just shows how little my work is valued by my colleagues (sorry if that makes me sound like a big head) The ironic thing is that i have had a lot of praise from patients so i can't be that bad.

Who knows whether i'd want to go or not but it would be nice to be asked.

Chilledmonkeybrains Wed 25-Nov-15 22:09:56

You must have a line manager? Do they manage any of the other teams? Of if not, they must know the line managers of the other teams. Raise it and get yourself put on some circulation lists.

I doubt it's deliberate, they probably all think someone else has you covered.

whois Wed 25-Nov-15 22:12:00

Your line manager should be sorting that out.

We have people who are technically in our department but who essentially do something completely different in a different location. They are made welcome at the chrismara party tho!

RatherBeRiding Wed 25-Nov-15 22:22:36

Do you know who is in charge of the night out? In your shoes I would simply drop an email saying what is the plan for the Christmas do as you dont appear to be on the circulation list. I am sure its not personal. I used to work in a hospital and it was very easy to genuinely overlook people who weren't attached to a specific team or department. As already said, the organisers may think someone else has notified you.

Stillunexpected Wed 25-Nov-15 22:26:59

Get yourself added to a circulation list - pick the one that most closely represents your work or the one that seems to get the best emails! If you are not on any group lists, you must be missing out on other important stuff too like details of company-wide training, planned evacuations, tests of fire alarms etc etc

MagicalHamSandwich Wed 25-Nov-15 22:28:11

Ask your direct superior about it - it's arguably an oversight and I'm certain they'll apologize profusely.

AnotherDame Wed 25-Nov-15 22:32:09

Just get IT to add you to the mailing list. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

hefzi Wed 25-Nov-15 22:34:56

I'm with the PP who suggest that everyone else thinks someone else has already included you: pick a group that's closest to what you do, and get yourself added onto their global list - or think of the group with your closest work friend in, and ask him/her to include you in their Christmas plans. I would put money on multiple people being mortified you've been missed out when they find out.

AgentProvocateur Wed 25-Nov-15 22:38:15

I'm also in a department of one with a line manager at the other end of the country I've never met! I have the opposite problem in that I've been invited to four team nights out in my office, but I can only charge back one. I also don't have time to go to four, but I don't want to offend the teams I don't choose. I suspect they all think they're the only ones who have thought of me. In your case, they probably think that someone else has asked you.

Bixxy Wed 25-Nov-15 22:45:02

Same here, it sucks. Except mine is a school and so teachers do things in departments, and the other support staff all work in offices together so organise something as a group.

I miss Christmas nights out sad They were blimmin ace at the last few places I worked.

MagicalHamSandwich Wed 25-Nov-15 22:48:58

I said it before and I'm going to reiterate it: please ask!

I organize a lot of the social stuff for my team and would be absolutely mortified if I left someone out who would like to join. But then I wouldn't be able to tell if no one pointed it out to me!

MinesAPintOfTea Wed 25-Nov-15 23:15:23

Is there one or lots of christmas dos? If there's just the one for everyone else on your site, YADNBU, otherwise I bet someone would include you if you just spoke to someone friendly.

aliasjoey Wed 25-Nov-15 23:27:20

This was me in my previous job ; I'd worked there for 10 years but somehow was never part of a team or dept. My boss was landed with me because there wasn't anyone else. Always contributed towards the stuff for other people (leaving do's, weddings, retirement) etc

When I left I assumed the same thing would happen for me, cards, gifts - maybe even a speech.

Nothing. I think my manager was away and everyone assumed somebody else would organise it. I walked out and burst into tears. Bastards <still bitter>

It does mean that I now resent being asked to contribute towards any office whipround.

StayWithMe Wed 25-Nov-15 23:27:24

I don't know about your place but on any ward I've worked on they details are pinned to the staff notice board and those interested in going, add their name. No body is personally invited, just an open invitation. Are you sure that's not what's happening?

madmother1 Wed 25-Nov-15 23:32:37

Aliasjoey that is just awful flowers

ChatEnOeuf Wed 25-Nov-15 23:49:28

Are you friends with any of them? On Facebook for example? Our dept has a group event for our Christmas do, you just ask to be added and it's done. Saves you falling of the mailing lists when you leave the job but still like the people smile

ScrambledEggAndToast Thu 26-Nov-15 08:22:00

I know you're right, I should just ask. I'm just quite shy and tbh feeling a bit downtrodden after 3.5 years of telling people about the service I offer for the hospital but no-one takes any notice. I feel invisible most of the time. Sorry for the moan.

EduCated Thu 26-Nov-15 08:28:10

Been there. It hurts. Was pathetically grateful last year when someone realised and invited me to theirs. My line manager at the time was very senior management (I was not, it's a bit of an oddity that I report into that level) and they just never got the involved in that kind of stuff.

Just ask. Be brave and do it. Pick the team you'd most want to go to and approach it in a cheery 'would you mind if I tagged along' and just mention that not sitting with any particular team means you won't get a do otherwise.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Thu 26-Nov-15 08:48:49

You could pointedly ask your line manager what is the budget for "your" Christmas party and then pick a team and ask if you could contribute your solo budget and attend?
Assuming your company contributes in some way?

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Thu 26-Nov-15 08:50:06

Feeling invisible most of the time is what needs to be addressed though, not the Christmas party. That's just a side effect of not being included properly as part of the overall team. Don't you go to any team meetings or updates from mgmt?

ClarkeyCat Thu 26-Nov-15 15:21:05

Do they ask you to contribute when there is a whipround?

Gottagetmoving Thu 26-Nov-15 15:44:55

I would LOVE to be left out of our Christmas invites,..or any other invites.
I bloody hate work 'dos'

MagicalHamSandwich Thu 26-Nov-15 16:31:53

Me too, Gotta! Especially the ones thrown by clients where they 'kindly' include the consultants: client expects you to a) have fun with them and get completely pissed, your firm expects you to b) be on best behaviour while c) satisfying the client and that creates an obvious dilemma ... grin

ofallthenerve Thu 26-Nov-15 16:36:07

Haha was just thinking that gotta. Don't miss work dos at all!

NoodleNuts Thu 26-Nov-15 16:39:45

It's shit - I've been in your exact situation. I was the only admin assistant in our Dept at the hospital I worked at. I worked with the catering staff, the cleaning staff, the porters and none of them ever invited me!! I think its like someone has mentioned, each group thought that one of the others had asked me. With me, it wasn't as easy as getting myself added to the mailing list, most of the staff mentioned above didn't have access to a PC so things weren't arranged via email.

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