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AIBU to think if you're going to confront someone, do it properly?

(70 Posts)
PowSuperDog Wed 25-Nov-15 17:50:27

I just nipped into a petrol station and a woman got out of her van, approached me as I walked back to my car and said:
"What gives you the right to drive out in front of an ambulance when they're in a rush?"

I opened my mouth to respond and she (I kid you not) wagged her finger in my face and said "naughty girl! Don't do it again!" before running the three yards back to her van. For the record, I am thirty...

I told her she should probably mind her own business as she was still chuntering (whilst desperately trying to get her van door open)

I told her I couldn't hear what she was saying but that if she had a point to make, I'd be happy to discuss it - but by that time she was back in the safety of her van, having hoiked her bosom, told off the 'naughty girl' and single handedly saved the day.

Now, without turning this into the longest post ever, I had to pull in to the petrol station to get out of the way as I was blocking where traffic getting out of the ambulances way would go, IYSWIM. The ambulance was at least a mile away and there is no way my actions would have hindered it.
However, I appreciate it was a judgement call - I have seen that area snare up in seconds as its also surrounded by houses and genuinely believe getting out of the way was the wisest move. The road frequently has ambulances on it as is on the way to the hospital and I have seen ambulances having to wait whilst people get themselves out of the way before now.

ANYWAY, am I being U to despise people who 'confront' people the way the woman in the van did?

If you're going to confront someone, for god's sake commit to it! I really don't understand people who psych themselves up for a confrontation on a point they clearly feel strongly about but don't expect a reaction and then run away, tail between their legs, when they get one!

She was so self-righteous but had nothing to back it up with and actually ran away from me when I wanted to discuss it!
What possesses people to do this? Her voice was shaky, like she'd been rehearsing what to say...

AIBU to really hope the next person she decides to 'confront' just happens to be a complete thug who gives her a mouthful of abuse? Although I suspect she would never approach someone who looks gobby - clearly my 'girlish' appearance fooled her and she had to make a hasty retreat grin

Allbymyselfagain Wed 25-Nov-15 17:56:14

I've had this, gives me a right laugh. They only ever pick on people they think won't argue back and will go away suitable chastised! Not me and certainly not you by the sounds of it.

Don't give her another thought. I always think if that is all they have to complain about good for them but I have more important stuff going on in my life

PowSuperDog Wed 25-Nov-15 18:05:05

Allbymyselfagain you're spot on!

I had it once with a man behind me in a bar queue, convinced I'd pushed in (I hadn't) - he started mouthing off about me to all those in the vicinity, loud enough so I could hear - he didn't realise my massive rugby player brother was behind him - have never seen the colour drain from a face so fast when Dbro tapped him on the shoulder and said 'scuse me mate, you're not talking about my sister are you?"

Very entertaining grin

CwtchMeQuick Wed 25-Nov-15 18:21:25

Recently a man hit the back of my car driving like an absolute twat. I was stationary in a queue of traffic. I got out the car and he started going 'get the fuck out of my way' etc.
I walked around the back of my car (he was still in my bumper) and went 'me move out your way?! You're in the back of my car!! What the fuck do you think you're doing?! You've hit my fucking car' etc. My friend got out the passenger side and the bloke drove off very fast.
Turns out he's told the police he knows he should've stopped but he couldn't deal with these two women raging at him grin
I'm not usually quite so confrontational blush but I just think you shouldn't drive into the back of someone and expect them not to say something hmm
Very amused by this fully grown bloke driving off because he didn't expect two small women to gob off back at him though grin

goodnightdarthvader1 Wed 25-Nov-15 18:24:20

I once had someone confront me (after they did a dangerous u-turn), revving the car at me like she was going to run me over. I was like "Where are you going now?!" and ended up flapping my hand at her and walking away. She was pretty far away (2 car lengths at least) so it wasn't remotely scary.

PowSuperDog Wed 25-Nov-15 18:25:01

CwtchMeQuick good for you!

I always think I'd have more respect for them if they kicked off massively rather than starting to, and then backtracking... I love how someone rear-ended you and then swore at you about it - where do these people come from?!

PowSuperDog Wed 25-Nov-15 18:28:57

goodnight good lord! People can be so weird.

I think I'm so calm because I grew up in a pretty dodgy area - I know a group of people who would have taken the chuntering from petrol station woman, put their shopping in the car, removed a golf club, smashed her windscreen, hopped back in the car and gone home for dinner, without a second thought.

Maybe these half-arsed confronters are just really, really sheltered...

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Wed 25-Nov-15 18:40:20

Sorry but I'm ROFL. At the image of got in my head. Of you standing there with a WTF face while she's waggling her finger at you saying You naughty girl. Don't do it again.
I'd have either laughed in her face. Or id have been tempted to bite her fucking sweaty finger off, not literally of course.
grin

wowfudge Wed 25-Nov-15 18:44:16

A guy drove into the back of me once, swore at me for 'not letting him in', didn't pull over when I did then claimed to the police that I was being aggressive so he didn't stop! He was a solicitor apparently.

PowSuperDog Wed 25-Nov-15 18:48:33

ilive it was hilarious - I am 6 foot tall and thirty years old. I honestly can't remember the last time someone wagged their finger at me - was stunned!!

She was very obviously that kid at school - usually they wag their finger at the wrong person sooner or later grin

Scary thing is - is that how she handles every incident where she thinks someone's made the wrong call? How has she not had her head kicked in?

I am very proud of myself for not swearing grin

AlbusPercival Wed 25-Nov-15 18:52:18

You would love the person I think of as "shrew lady" at my swimming pool.

Every morning she has someone to complain about. Today it was me, as soon as I was in my cubicle she had to comment to a friend about how she "just wouldn't feel clean showering in her swimsuit" followed by lots of tutting about how wet the floor was, in the changing room, next to the shower, at the swimming pool.

If I hadn't already been naked..

DawnOfTheDoggers Wed 25-Nov-15 18:56:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Enjolrass Wed 25-Nov-15 18:57:10

People are weird.

Someone ran into the back of our car once. Dh was driving and I jumped out. Went and had a look.

The car was still firmly in my bumper. I looked at the womanThe woman said 'what are you fucking looking at?'

I said 'the dickhead who has ran into the back of my car'

She denied she had, so I pointed out that her car was still in my bumper at which point she got out and apologised.

There was also a woman at work who got shitty with every one and no one ever said anything. She tried it with me one day moaning about calls waiting and how it was all my fault for some odd reason.

I told her in no uncertain terms she was being a twat.

She didn't say anything back. She didn't get shitty as much either so win win grin

PowSuperDog Wed 25-Nov-15 19:02:07

Albus what the hell?! Who cares about the wetness of a swimming pool changing room floor?

The other day a woman loudly and pointedly tutted at a man for pushing on the train when she was trying to get off.

He promptly jumped back off, spat on her and calmly got back on the train.

I've seen people have coffee thrown over them and a girl getting punched in the head and that's only commuting to London!

It's only a matter of time...

MammaTJ Wed 25-Nov-15 19:02:14

I commit, but I do so nicely, which, like your girlish appearance fools people into thinking I am fair game.

A woman let her 4/5 year old DD push a trolley around a car park, she rammed it (accidentally due to being too little to control it) into my car.

I got out and told the woman that she should keep a better eye on her DD. She then told me that she was in the car. I informed her that she had run to the car in fear after ramming the trolley into my car and she was lucky she had not run in front of another car, with her paying her so little attention and it being car park!

She then yelled abuse at me!

I informed her very strongly about herself. As I had been quietly spoken and polite up until that point, it came as a bit of a shock to her!

Yeah, I commit! grin

Wishful80smontage Wed 25-Nov-15 19:06:57

Yeah I commit too much- once I went nuts over a woman who pulled over when it my right of way- she realised then wound down her window to apologise- but I was still seeing red and said 'if she hasn't realised it was my right of way then she was as stupid as she looked' she didn't look stupid and it was an honest mistake- I was going through a shitty time and took it out on the wrong person she looked really hurt sad
I still feel bad about that one sad

PowSuperDog Wed 25-Nov-15 19:14:43

mamma exactly!! You sound much more controlled than me smile

I'm not a huge confronter because a confrontation of my standards involves way too much effort/shit-losing than I generally have time for!

However, seeing cruelty does something to me - it's an instinct thing which I struggle to control - saw someone be unspeakably cruel (violent) to my cat once and vaguely remember thundering over to the person waving arms and bellowing - god only knows what I must have looked like. However, it got my point across very adequately - if only I could conjure that reaction at the drop of a hat...

suchafuss Wed 25-Nov-15 19:29:52

Someone once wagged their finger under my nose. The only problem was i am a type 1 diabetic having a hypo as it was just before lunch, and so i bit it really hard. The person never did it again!

Battleshiphips2 Wed 25-Nov-15 19:31:39

We had some guy shaking his fist at my DH while we were waiting in traffic. He was behind us on a motorbike and going mad for some unknown reason, in the end my DH beeped his horn in annoyance. The next minute the guy yanked open my DH door and said "get out the effin car"! I was on the front with our little dog (about a foot high from paw to head) on my knee. The dog went wild and went for the guy at which point he legged it and we were able to lock the doors. We had our 5 yr old ds in the car with us too. It's a good job the traffic started back up then because I don't take things lying down and was ready to get out the car and have a rant at the guy! We still don't know what we did wrong other than be in front of him in the traffic!

PowSuperDog Wed 25-Nov-15 19:32:28

suchafuss hahahahaha excellent! Imagine having to explain that in A&E - I was being a pompous twit, Dr, and wagging my finger under someone's nose and they BIT me! Haha

PowSuperDog Wed 25-Nov-15 19:36:57

battleshiphips your dog is clearly a super dog grin who has the audacity to open someone's car door, but then run away from a tiny dog?

quietbatperson Wed 25-Nov-15 19:47:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stayathomegardener Wed 25-Nov-15 19:48:06

I had a woman in possibly her 60's out jogging wave me down for speeding last week.
I was doing 25mph in a 30, in a very slow truck past my dd's old Primary schoo, l in a village I used to live in.
I turned round went back and asked her if she needed assistance as I was certainly not speeding, she had the grace to apologise and admit she did it to every car out of habit... Bonkers.

Allbymyselfagain Wed 25-Nov-15 19:55:28

These make me laugh, how do these people make it to adulthood without having learnt to keep their noses out? Unfortunately my worst experience wound me up so much even 10 years later I still look back and think wtf.

I commute to London and I just have to be calm and chilled but last week a women walked into the back of me at speed and when I turned to check she was OK the look on her face was a why are you in MY space kind of snarl grimace followed by a muttered fucking idiot get out of my way. I'm afraid I told her if the wind changed she'd stay like that and then added maybe it has blush must work on my calm and chilled grin

Garlick Wed 25-Nov-15 19:56:16

I love this! I am SO going to wag my finger and deliver a sharp reprimand to the next person who pisses me off. I shall "tsk" as well.

Just don't cross me, OP ... you won't like it ... grin

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