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Whispering in public

(15 Posts)
mikado1 Wed 25-Nov-15 14:05:06

Interested in opinions and experiences on this one. I may be U as it was drummed into me as a child never to whisper in public and think when other adults do it it's extremely rude. I've noticed recently though, one of my friend's has obviously encouraged her children to whisper, to her, in public. The idea seems to be to avoid being rude by not saying something inappropriate out loud (eg why is mikado here again? I want to go etc.) However I can't help thinkingIit seems rude to have a private conversation with someone else present. I am also wondering if perhaps I abu and should stop my 3.5yo announcing his (often inappropriate! ) opinions? Wdyd and aibu to think it's a bit rude and unnecessary? I should add it never seems to be anything of urgency and is definitely done out of politeness.

BollocksToThat1 Wed 25-Nov-15 14:08:24

Depends on the age of the child.

My 16 year old dd will text me if she wants to communicate while people are around. grin

KeepOnMoving1 Wed 25-Nov-15 14:10:07

how old are the kids. sometimes they do need to tell you something urgently but have the sense to know it would be rude to say out loud.

Enjolrass Wed 25-Nov-15 14:11:10

It depends on the age.

Ds (now 4) shouted that the woman a few people down on the queue must eat all her dinner as she was so small. Yes she was a little person. He didn't shout at her, just said it very loudly. This was over a year ago.

So yes we teach him to keep his voice down.

Dd (11) would be expected to keep whatever it is to herself, til we were alone. Or just keep it to herself.

Dd does text me occasionally too if it's important

mikado1 Wed 25-Nov-15 14:24:49

They are 7and 8.

Pseudo341 Wed 25-Nov-15 14:33:32

My 5yo will often go very shy around other people and whisper to me if she wants to go to the loo or something. I'd guess 7 & 8 is getting to an age where you might start teaching them to either speak publicly or wait until later, but it'll be a gradual process so I wouldn't think it was enormously rude at that age.

FWIW, I'm a wheelchair user and comments from young children often make my day, they're just hilarious, as is the look of horrified embarrassment on their parents faces smile

notenidskitchen Wed 25-Nov-15 14:52:12

SIL does this. It's so rude, it drives me insane.

She's 40 and usually very gracious.

If I want to say something private to DH I just talk in broadest Lancashire - no-one else understands grin

FruVikingessOla Wed 25-Nov-15 15:06:29

I have an adult acquaintance who does this. It's not as though she's talking about anything 'secret squirrel' (in which case she could deal with it in a better way), she just does it about ordinary stuff but just whispers to one friend in our group, whilst leaving the rest of us out of it. I find it infuriatingly rude.

LetGoOrBeDragged Wed 25-Nov-15 15:09:33

I dont think adults should do it but Im okay with kids whispering. My dc is shy.

BollocksToThat1 Wed 25-Nov-15 15:12:03

I would call her out on that Fru bloody rude.

FruVikingessOla Wed 25-Nov-15 15:41:00

I totally agree with you Bollocks. I've frequently been sitting there nonplussed whilst she's been whispering to one other friend whilst the rest of us have been excluded.

Other friend, I think, is equally embarrassed - and has, I suspect, mentioned it to WhisperingFriend because she hasn't done it recently!

araiba Wed 25-Nov-15 16:25:39

when else would you whisper?

if its just two people sat at home then whispering seems pointless

you do it so others cant hear you, like in a public place.

FruVikingessOla Wed 25-Nov-15 17:13:17

"you do it so others cant hear you, like in a public place."

..... which is extremely impolite.

starfishmummy Wed 25-Nov-15 19:16:37

I suppose it depends what you mean by "in public".
The examples given are when the whisperers are part of a group of people; in this case I agree that most whispering is wrong (the exceptions would be things like your skirt is tucked in your pants type stuff).
But in proper public surrounded by total strangers then who cares?

mikado1 Wed 25-Nov-15 20:38:29

Sorry, I meant in company! So I am chatting to the mum and the dc comes in, whispered conversation follows, dc leaves. This probably happens every time I see her. I have overhead some and it's nothing big but it's as if any queries/disagreements have to be whispered. I'm not a fan.

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